Chinatown Express

If you get off at the Chinatown Metro stop, walk down H Street, and turn right at 6th Street, you will be greeted by this seemingly ill tempered man.

Chinatown Express Noodle Attack

Fear not! What may appear to be a wind up for a most unpleasant giant noodle attack is nothing more than stretching dough.

On second thought, no noodle attack.

This is the noodle man at Chinatown Express in Washington D.C.’s Chinatown and dammit, he makes the best noodles on this coast! You may be surprised to know that it is difficult to find “good” Chinese food in D.C. with the city having its own Chinatown. It’s sad, but it’s true. Much of the so-called “authentic” Chinese cuisine is tailored to tastes that are unfamiliar with authentic authentic Chinese food. Many of the sauces are too sweet. Dishes are over cooked. Flavors mash together into a big oozing pile of blech.

Not so at the Chinatown Express. This is the closest thing you will come to having good home-style cooked Chinese food in this area.

Green sauce, opiate of the masses.

The sauce to the right is slivers of garlic bathed in a healthy jar of oil. It’s quite yummy. But it’s nothing compared to the sauce on the left. I have yet to discover just what it’s made out of (I asked our waitress and she said “ginger sauce” and disappeared. Cursed secret recipe!), but I suspect it’s made from crack cocaine or other similarly addictive additive. It has a sort of oily garlic flavor to it, but with a light tang to the finish. I tastes like happy. Seriously! It’s that goddamn good.

It’s excellent with the pork and leek dumplings which I didn’t manage to take a picture of before we inhaled the entire plate last Friday on our visit. You must order them when you come here and you must eat them with the green crack sauce.

Fried noodle with vegetable.

Audrey ordered the fried noodles with veggies. Very yummy. The sauce isn’t too heavy and doesn’t over power the flavors of the ingredients so you can taste each veggie as it plays with the noodles. The noodles are quite simply the best. EVAR! They too must be made from crack cocaine infused flower because once you eat one, you can’t stop until they’re all nestled safely in your tummy.

Fried noodle with dead animal.

My fried noodles had dead cow in them. See them trying to hide from me!

They say that you will be hungry in less than an hour after you eat Chinese food. They have not eaten at a proper Chinese food restaurant. The portions at Chinatown Express are quite generous and will keep you satisfied well into the next day. They are open 10am-11pm every day except Sunday. I’ve been there for lunch and dinner on various days and it’s always packed. You can also order take out although why you’d want to torture your fellow Metro riders with the deliciously addictive smells is beyond me you sadistic food tease you.

If you’re visiting or live in the D.C. Metro area, get your happy ass down to Chinatown Express as soon as you can! Your stomach will love you long time!