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America’s Next Top Joe

Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 1:57 pm by Jami

More pictures of the Joes have surfaced and it seems to me like they’re all auditioning for America’s Next Top Model. Really, who could blame them. The winner gets a $10,000 modeling contract with Cover Girl and… oh fuck it. Let’s take a look.

Scarlet and Cover Girl

Here’s Scarlet and Cover Girl. I don’t remember Cover Girl from the original G.I. Joe, but apparently, she was there. I was expecting to see Lady Jaye. Ah well. They both look great though how Scarlet breaths in that thing is anyone’s guess.




Snake Eyes and Duke

Obviously Snake Eyes bought tickets to the gun show. Chicks dig the gun show. Duke is sad that all he has to show off is an actual gun. Chicks don’t dig real guns as much.



Rip Cord and General Hawk

Rip Cord and General Hawk are confused. Why do they have to pose for Tyra? What’s going on? General Hawk looks especially confused. Or maybe that’s constipation.


Baroness and Storm Shadow

Baroness has some yellow fever. And why not. Stormy has those sexy eyes and fluffy terrycloth outfit. You just want to hug him all day.


So if everyone is wearing some version of black skin tight leather armor, how do we tell the Joes and Snakes apart? The X-Men called. They want their leather back. Except for you, Stormy. Go on with your fuzzy self!

Thanks to Hawk and Marty and everyone else for tip!

[Via Blast-O-Rama]

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 1:57 pm and is filed under Movies, Comic Book Flicks, Action. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to “America’s Next Top Joe”

  1. AvatarD-W
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
    1

    Is it just me or does Snake Eyes’ mask have lips? I’m waiting for the Cobra Commander and Destro photos.

  2. AvatarAI_Joe
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
    2

    Armored boobs, ftw. \o/

    Seriously, though - why black? Dark green and dark blue for Joes and Cobra respectively. Not hard - and a bit different. The cinematographer is going to shit. Also, would it kill too much if they could have at least gave the Baroness some green specs? In their sad attempt to make this uber-hip and matrixy, they’ve inadvertently created a movie about fashion terrorists.

    And how much Oxy-Clean does Storm Shadow goes through - or is his get-up blood resistant?

  3. AvatarVonKraut
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
    3

    its too bad this movie is going to be really horrible.

  4. Avatarsharkker
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    4

    At least Scarlett doesn’t have bat-nipples on that outfit. Wait - is that a good or bad thing? :P

  5. Avatarchopa
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
    5

    Actually not that much leather on the joes

    also Cover Girl was a tank or something driver

  6. AvatarXenos
    Posted: Apr 18th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
    6

    “The X-Men called. They want their leather back.”

    HA! Indeed. Also, Batman Begins. (At least there it made sense.) GI Joe always had each character in a distinct outfit. Sure I could see muted colors, but all black? They kept saying that they were doing a fun movie and not a serious war one. Then why did they get all the black body armor?

    Also, I cannot begin on how much nerd rage I have for seeing Baroness without spectacles.

  7. AvatarNP
    Posted: Apr 19th, 2008 at 1:53 am
    7

    How the fuck hard is it to pick up one of those black-rimmed prescription glasses for Baroness? Don’t they have any idea that it would look 100 time sexier than whatever the hell Baroness is wearing in that photograph? And what about the Cobra insignia? Are they going to exclude the insignia from the costume as well?

  8. AvatarNP
    Posted: Apr 19th, 2008 at 1:57 am
    8

    OLIVIA MUNN = BARONESS!! Throw those nerdy glasses on her and you’ve got a sure-fire winner.

  9. AvatarCortharis
    Posted: Apr 21st, 2008 at 8:01 am
    9

    Is it just me, or does Rip Cord have like a Halo Battle riffle?

  10. Avatarj_bob
    Posted: Apr 21st, 2008 at 9:38 am
    10

    I used to have the Cover Girl missile tank when I was a kid.
    Checked up on it, and she was only part of the early lines, and never re-introduced

  11. AvatarOddball
    Posted: Apr 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 am
    11

    “Is it just me, or does Rip Cord have like a Halo Battle riffle?”

    It’s the FN-2000, a new battle rifle from FN, which is a Belgian gun manufacturer that’s known for producing the FN-FAL and most of John Browning’s (as in Browning firearms) designs.

    Oh, and +1 to the Baroness needing glasses.

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