Marty picked up the news that the eighth Mortal Kombat game will pit our favorite MK warriors against characters from the DC universe. As you might imagine, there’s no way DC would let Sub Zero skull fuck Batman’s severed head (you know Sub’s is kinky) so this iteration of Kombat will be free of the fatalities and blood that have become the signature of the series.

Without the blood and fatalities, what’s the point of a Mortal Kombat game? It’s like Street Fighter without Ryu, Smash Brothers without Mario, GTA without hookers. This, sir, is no Mortal Kombat!

Superman wins. Unless Reptile and Jade has uniforms made of Kryptonite cloth, Superman wins. And you can’t very well have a MK vs. DC game without big blue. Again, what’s the point? I suppose Outworld’s sun could somehow affect Superman’s powers, but that’s just stupid.

Without Superman, there could actually be some interesting matches. Batman would need to get rid of his stupid cape, but his hand to hand skills would fit in well with the Kombat ninjas. The Gotham family in general mixes well with ninjas. Lobo versus Baraka would be so entertaining. But again, without the fatalities or blood, I don’t think you could get Lobo to the party.

This might have been interesting when Marvel vs. Capcom first dropped or maybe when Mortal Kombat was still a big deal. Now it just seems a little late and a bit ponderous. Better to just make a DC fighting game and leave the Outworld out of it.

Update: We have trailer. Looks like there will be some blood after all. Thanks to commenter Charlie for the link!

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 10:40 am and is filed under Comics, Dumb Ass, Gaming, Super Geek Wars. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.