KUNG FU PORN!

Jet Li vs Jackie Chan

There are two reasons why you’re going to see The Forbidden Kingdom. You want to see Jackie Chan fight Jet Li. You want to see Jet Li fight Jackie Chan. It’s good. It’s damn good. It’s seriously like watching kung fu porn.

I messed my pants multiple times. Crunchy beyond crunchy!

The fight you will pay good money to see fortunately happens fairly early on in the film. Director Rob Minkoff makes the right choice giving us long camera shots that give us the full view of the hardcore man on man action. Jackie and Jet are wicked fucking fast! Words have not been invented that accurately describe what we saw on screen. Seriously, this is the best fight scene I’ve seen in a good god damned time. It is full of the awesome.

The rest of the movie? Well, I absolutely hated the opening and would have walked out if it was any other movie. It’s completely unbelievable and out of tone with the rest of the film. Michael Angarano is the utterly forgettable view point character. Honestly, at points I forgot he was supposed to be our lead. Yifei Lui plays the female lead opposite of Angarano and has the annoying quirk of referring to herself in the third person. The relationship between Lui and Angarano is never quite fully developed which is somewhat of shame since it’s the only reason she’s in the movie. Obviously, there’s a budding romance there, but it just meanders along going no where. They also never kiss. If you’re going to pretend to have a young romance subplot, at least let them freaking kiss. Disappointing.

Collin Chou is brilliant as the Jade Warrior and Bing Bing Li is quite stunning as the younger Bride with White Hair (okay, that’s not her name, but she’s totally the Bride). I just wish there was more of them. Honestly, you get rid of Angarano’s and Lui’s characters and just pit Bin Bin Li and Collin Chou against Jet Li and Jackie Chan, you have a much tighter movie.

However, the things that suck don’t ruin the things that rock. It’s easy enough to ignore the meh because there are plenty of fights peppered throughout. Jet Li’s Monkey King and disgruntled monk are so enjoyable. He also has the absolute best line I’ve ever heard him say ever! NO, FOOL! Jackie Chan’s drunken immortal is absolutely brilliant. If they never work together again, their amazing fight and chemistry together in this film is enough to satisfy any martial arts geek.

You’ll probably want to catch a matinée. But Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan must be seen on a big ass screen. Fact.

[Via Forbidden Kingdom]