Comic #1
« Art Fight’s “Secret” Inspiration
Certified Mighty - Derek Jeffers »

So How Many Theaters Will Play Uwe Boll’s Postal?

Friday, May 16th, 2008 at 2:59 pm by Jami

I snarfed loudly when I read this email from reader Tyler Anderson:

So, Uwe Boll’s Postal is a mere week away from its release and guess, just guess how many screens it’s opening on…

What’s that? A thousand!? HA! No, go waaaay lower

150? NOPE, not even close

Nope, not 50, lower still.

4. HA! You guessed it! Postal is opening on 4 SCREENS NATIONWIDE.

When asked for a comment about ut Boll had this to say

“Theatrical distributors are boycotting Postal because of its political content. We were prepared to open on 1500 screens all across America on May 23rd. Any multiplex in the U.S. should have space for us, but they’re afraid… We have even tried to buy a few screens in New York and Los Angeles, and they won’t let us even rent the theaters! I urge independent exhibitors to contact us and book ‘Postal’! Audiences have been expecting the film and I don’t think exhibitors should censor what gets played in U.S. theaters.”

Just another testament to Uwe Boll’s inflated sense of self. Yeah, political content, that MUST be why no one wants Postal. Never mind the fact that its bound to be another TERRIBLE MOVIE BY UWE BOLL that won’t even bring in a third of what concessions bring in on a weekend. Maybe, just maybe this movie will do so poorly at its 4 theaters that Boll will decide he sucks at making movies and quit. I mean c’mon at the very least he’s proven he could go into boxing…

Yes, Uwe, that must be it. Theaters are so scary a’feared…

Of losing money! ZING!

Share This

This entry was posted on Friday, May 16th, 2008 at 2:59 pm and is filed under Movies, Dumb Ass. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “So How Many Theaters Will Play Uwe Boll’s Postal?”

  1. Pingback Pingback:
    Posted: May 16th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
    1
    Uwe Boll » So How Many Theaters Will Play Uwe Boll’s Postal?

    […] wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptJust another testament to Uwe Boll’s inflated sense of self. Yeah, political content, that MUST be why no one wants Postal. Never mind the fact that its bound to be another TERRIBLE MOVIE BY UWE BOLL that won’t even bring in a third of … […]

  2. AvatarBAMikeyD
    Posted: May 16th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
    2

    Uh oh! You’s been ping backed on a Uwe Boll Negative Piece! That means the next time he wants to fight critics you’d better get ready!

  3. AvatarKevin Bahrt
    Posted: May 16th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
    3

    Don’t worry, Jami’s a ninja, but make sure you bring a knife anyway to finish your kill and mount it.

  4. AvatarTyler
    Posted: May 17th, 2008 at 1:16 am
    4

    …Would they be more pissed at Jami for posting it, or me for writing it?

  5. AvatarBAMikeyD
    Posted: May 17th, 2008 at 4:36 am
    5

    Just to be safe… I’d start training Tyler!

  6. AvatarWayne
    Posted: May 18th, 2008 at 11:18 am
    6

    I was almost interested in seeing a Boll film once. I saw the stander for Name of the King, saw the cast, saw it was based on Dungeon Siege, and then I saw Boll’s name and that was the end of that. I can’t believe some of the talent that he actually manages to sign — I mean, Brian Blessed! How the hell can such a schlock, non-profiting director get talent like Brian Blessed and Jason Statham?

    Well, the Germans closed the tax loophole that got a bulk of Boll’s financing, so hopefully the money will dry up and people will get smart and stop hiring him to make movies.

  7. AvatarTugboat
    Posted: May 19th, 2008 at 9:21 am
    7

    So whatever happened to that petition to stop Boll from making films? :)

  8. AvatarJami
    Posted: May 19th, 2008 at 9:30 am
    8
    Author Comment

    I think it’s been hovering around the mid 200,000 mark.

  9. AvatarTugboat
    Posted: May 20th, 2008 at 7:47 am
    9

    You heard the man, guys… if you haven’t stepped up your game and signed the petition, you lose your right to complain about Uwe Boll’s movies!

SexyComments by BorkWeb
Close
E-mail It