Belmont got back!

When you played the original Castlevania, do you remember how Simon Belmont lead an army of Romanian knights and that Simon goes through the castle with a sword to fight Dracul’a?

Neither do I.

The folks over at CC2K got their hands on Paul W.S. Anderson’s script for the film adaptation of Castlevania, and from the sounds of Big Ross’s review, it’s a clumsy rehash of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Please. Like the director of Stomp the Yard can do better than Bram Stoker.

Lowlights include:

• Introducing the castle through the eyes of Nazi’s in WWII who attempt to use the castle as a strong hold only to be completely obliterated.
• Simon and his brother Christopher leading an army of Romanian knights.
• Dracula spelled with an apostrophe a.
• Dracul’a’s renouncing of God to turn into a vampire.
• Dracul’a biting Simon’s love interest because he looks like his wife reincarnated.
• Simon using a sword instead of the signature whip.
• Ending in modern day New York with Simon’s love interest, now a vampire, waiting for Simon’s reincarnation.

Huh?

You know, some fucker probably just gave Anderson a paragraph synopsis of the franchise and told him to go off and write something. I mean, there’s no way you could come up with any of that shit if you ever played the video game. Romanian knights? Blech!

[Via CC2K]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 17th, 2008 at 10:09 am and is filed under Movies, Dumb Ass, Gaming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.