Robin Gets Emo on the CW

Teen Titans Robin

AZM Ally Kensei Dave sends word that Robin is heading to the CW in “The Graysons.” “The Graysons” will chronicle Dick Grayson’s horribly uninteresting pre-teen years before his parents were killed and he was taken in by a psychotic pedophile who dresses up in a skin tight bat costume to work out his domination fetish on the criminals of Gotham. Seriously, unless they retcon the holy shit out of Dick’s origin, this show would have to take place in his middle school years. And who gives a flying fuck about that.

Just like “Smallville,” they’ll likely plop Dick right in the middle of high school so they can cast lots of young CW hotties to sex up Dick’s life. And he’ll probably have to deal with hiding his awesome super powers lest his friends get hurt. Oh wait. He doesn’t have super powers. He’s just a gymnast. Um… does anyone really want to see “Paul Ham, the Wonder Years?” Because that’s what this show is.

There’s a reason comics usually gloss over Dick’s younger years. Sure, they prepared him for jumping off buildings and swinging from zip lines. But they’re not all that interesting. Dick’s youth is boring compared to Clark’s. Young Clark discovers he can fly, is invulnerable, and can shoot freaking heat beams from his eyes. Dick discovers he can swing from a trapeze. Sorry, that’s just boring. I guess there’s a lot of drama living the circus life, going from town to town, flying through the air. But otherwise, it’s an after school Cirque du Soleil drama special. Blech.

However, if they go the other way and deal with the death of his parents, we may have something here. Dealing with his recent loss along with going to school by day and fighting crime by night while living with a deranged millionaire pedophile is perfect territory for a CW drama. You relate the show to the brand, you make the comic geeks happy, and you win over CW zombies. Win all around.

[Via Wizard Universe]