«
»

Tiger Woods to Lose End–Who Gives a Flying Shit!

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 at 10:09 am by Jamie

Before I rant, check out some Tiger style kung fu!

Now to rantage!

Tiger Woods hits a little ball farther and more accurately than most other mother fuckers out there. But I must have missed the memo that told me that pro golfers were to be held up as paragons of moral behavior. Yeah, he’s a shitty little man for cheating on his wife. But that’s not why people give a fuck about Tiger. They give a fuck about him because he hits a little ass ball across a big ass lawn. No one’s getting marital advice from the fucker. No one’s asking him to write self-help books on fidelity. He’s not preaching his expert advice on maintaining a healthy marriage. He hits a ball. Really well.

I really hate that people are acting like Tiger woods is some kind of role model. Yeah, if you’re into golf, he’s a big shit deal. The way he plays the game is definitely something to aspire to if you’re a golfer. But for the rest of us who don’t give a shit about wacking balls, Tiger has no impact on our lives. What Tiger does on and off the green affects so very few of us. Yet the media would have us believe that he’s some kind of fallen angel, a beacon of society fallen from grace, a pillar of the community who has sullied his good name. What good name? He’s just another rich mother fucker who plays a rich man’s sport! Who gives a flying fuck.

Certainly, Tiger’s on my shit list right next to that one-balled asshole Lance Armstrong. You cheat on your wife and family, you’re on my list. But who gives a flying fuck. Nothing they do affects me in any way. And I never looked up to them as examples to live by. I doubt many people do. Sure, they admire Tiger and Lance for their accomplishments as athletes. But I seriously doubt people are looking to them for life advice. Okay, maybe to Lance for surviving cancer. But no one really looks to their private lives as examples. So please, get Tiger off the front fucking page. No one gives a shit. He’s just another rich asshole who fucked up. Happens every day. Get over it. Let the blogs and gossip rags cover this shit and get back to real news reporting you fucking fucks (I’m looking at you CNN). We got another war you fucktards. Go cover that!

I gotta give props to Elin Nordegren for not taking Tiger’s shit laying down. You go girl. Swing the fuck out of that club! If I give a shit about anyone in this situation, it’s her. And not just cause she’s smoking hot. I’ve seen so many wives of famous people just kind of swallow their pride when their man is caught cheating that it’s great to see one that doesn’t give a shit. She should teach a class on how to bust your cheating man, literally bust them. With a fucking golf club. Whatever you do Elin, we support you.

With that, let’s check out some more Tiger style!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 at 10:09 am and is filed under Dumb Ass, Not News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to “Tiger Woods to Lose End–Who Gives a Flying Shit!”

  1. AvatarAmaniwolf
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 10:57 am
    1

    Seriously….the media won’t let this die down. Look, he F^%ed up, big deal. He’s not the first and definitely won’t be the last. I notice how he’s being called a homewrecker and the other woman isn’t being called anything. What, she’s innocent? She wants to get her 15 minutes of fame and you know she planned this crap for her benefit, so aim some of that bile her way too. I remember Tiger when he was 6 years old and he was just starting to play Golf and was a prodigy. He exceeded this expectations, but he was always just a man. He made a big mistake, if they can work this out, fine,….if not, fine. But for God’s sake media…go cover some actual news. This is anything but news.
  2. AvatarMarc
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 11:38 am
    2

    Hell yeah, Mr. Noguchi. I’ll second every freakin’ thing you just said. People want a role model? Don’t look for one in athletes or actors, people with insane natural talent; look for one in the little guy that went through hell and overcame huge handicaps to become awesome at something. Look for a guy who sacrifices for his family, and stays true to his self. Rich people are just people with a lot of money, if having enough money to stuff a mattress is important to you, that’s pretty sad. I’ll settle for having enough to provide for my family and doing something I love to do.
  3. AvatarRafa
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 11:43 am
    3

    I pretty much ignored this story when it first broke. But 14? 14 fuckdolls?!?! Damn! Here’s this guy who seemingly had it all together. Money, career, family… you name it. And in the meantime he was busy screwing porn stars and fancy hookers away from the spotlight. He deserves whatever he gets. The media and the sponsors are mad because they never suspected a thing. They sold him as the Golden Boy who could do no wrong….and he LET them. They must feel like complete assholes right now, and you can be sure they will keep covering this as a form of payback. It also makes me wonder about the other squeaky clean media idols, and what they get up to….

    I feel a little sorry for the wife. How humiliating.
  4. AvatarJohn
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 11:48 am
    4

    Well, I agree with you that this is really not a news event like it has been made out to be. Perhaps in sports media, since he HAS built his entire image/career (and much of his career) on this super healthy, ‘all American boy’ success story. He shouldn’t be a role model, but for too many, he is. When even NPR is spending hours on this, it’s a wtf moment.

    (and to Amaniwolf, it wasn’t one woman, it was closer to 15 so far, and they are all getting trashed as well)
  5. AvatarJamie
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
    5

    15! Holy crap balls! Why’d he bother getting hitched in the first place!
  6. AvatarRafa
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
    6

    @ Jamie:

    Ah. For his image, of course! His precious fucking image that now lies in ruins.

    And for the record here on AZM, Woods is not an ‘athlete’ and golf is not a sport…at least as far as I’m concerned.
  7. AvatarJack T Robyn
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
    7

    http://money.cnn.com/2009/12/14/news/companies/tiger_impact/index.htm

    This is the only reason this story is significant. And it is.
    Having Tiger as an American Golden Boy generated enormous revenue for the sport and a vast increase in viewership. With his reputation tarnished, the magic is gone and he truly is just another man who can hit a ball. I don’t think it’s outside reality to say that because Tiger’s affairs were discovered, some people may lose their jobs.
  8. AvatarFmF
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
    8

    First your surprise CNN would over cover this?Lou Dobbs did a report on a school lunch and they fucken aired it like it was new’s!I didn’t know lance cheated or i just didn’t care enough about it.It the didn’t care part.I have seen some funny thing come out of this other then the pathetic state of the American news networks.Like some one wanting to make a porn about it call tiger’s wood And some site called cheaters (i don’t think it have to do with the tv show) wanting to pay him a few mills for him to be they’re mascot or some thing.For real news we issued 30k troops to Afghanistan with less the 200 Al-Qaeda.Could be to try to fight back the Taliban who had a resurgence and is threatening to topple the corrupt government of Karzai that we a pointed.It might be to put some pressure on Pakistan to be more aggressive with the Al-Qaeda in they’re borders or it a attempt to stabilize the regain so they can do the oil pipe line that was planed in 97 but couldn’t happen.Actual information how i missed you.
  9. AvatarCortharis
    Posted: Dec 15th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
    9

    This is only how it is because lets face it, nothing else has been happening in the news that they want to report on. No one wants to talk healthcare. No one wants to talk about the fact Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize while at the same time escalating troop numbers in Afganistan for a more prolonged war. To be honest, media coverage is in this surreal environment when you look what’s actually happening in the world.

    To be honest, the only people covering like this should be is late night commedians and Keith Olbermann who sees it for the joke that it is.

    But really, this has been following a pattern of ‘Things Black people do in 2009′. Become a president, pass away, and now cheat on their wives.
  10. Avatardavid
    Posted: Dec 16th, 2009 at 3:10 am
    10

    LOL, you watch CNN expecting real news,HAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

    and now onto something really funny:
  11. Avatardavid
    Posted: Dec 16th, 2009 at 3:11 am
    11

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/113210/saturday-night-live-tiger-woods-accident

    whoops forgot teh linkage.
SexyComments by BorkWeb