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The iMaxi and its Heavy Flow of Hype

Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 10:46 am by Jamie

I believe I jumped the gun a bit by calling Apple’s Mighty Mouse a maxi pad. Yesterday’s announcement of the iPad was met with a slew of feminine hygiene product jokes. I mean, come on, didn’t anyone there see this Mad TV sketch from like three years ago:

The jokes are well deserved. iPad is a horrible, horrible name. Equally horrible is this introduction video posted on Apple’s website shortly after the announcement:

Wow, those fuckers scare me. The blank, glassy look in their eyes indicates that some people have been sucking on a very special blend of the Apple Kool-Aid (TM). There’s no wrong way to hold it. It’s the greatest thing we’ve ever seen ever. It will revolutionize the way we touch things. Creepy.

All joking aside, I think Apple may be on to something. Let’s forget the name and the pricing scheme and all the other things that are wrong with it and concentrate on what’s right with the iPad. I have no hard data so this is all wild speculation on my part, but I suspect a majority of computer users these days use their machines to browse the internet, type an occasional word doc, watch movies, and play games. For those first three activities, you don’t need a whole lot of fire power under the hood. Hell, you can do most of that from any good phone these days. As for gaming, while mobile games may not offer the same hardcore experience that a good PC or console system can provide, they can be just as engrossing. For the typical user, the iPad is the perfect answer. You got your internet, your word processing, your movies, and your games all in a sleek device that won’t light your crotch on fire when it overheats. Netbooks are close, but they don’t play movies all that well and as for gaming, you’re stuck with internet flash games. Of course, a laptop can do everything the iPad can do and then some, but there are times when you don’t really need all that firepower.

Apple has a talent for branding their mobile products in such a way that they become a standard by which other products are judged. iPod has become the standard for the portable digital music player. iPhone has become the standard for smart phones. I believe the iPad will become the product to beat for e-readers and netbooks. It’s certainly going to kick the Kindle and the Nook square in the ball sack. I think the netbook market will still be viable since most of them are more affordable than the base iPad, but it will be difficult for one to emerge as the standard when it has to compete with Apple’s branding.

What does the iPad mean for us digital art professionals? Not a whole damn lot. As much of a fanboy of Apple products as I am, I still feel like the bastard child that they eventually grew to ignore. Time was you couldn’t do any digital art without using an Apple product. Macs were the ubiquitous standard for power users like digital artists. And then, nothing. We’ve been kicked to the curb. We are no longer cultivated as an elite clientele that Apple took pride in winning. They just don’t give two craps about us. Part of that probably has to do with economics. Once an artist finds a tool they like, they are likely to stick with it for decades. We don’t buy new shit just because it’s new. We run the old workhorse into the ground and then keep kicking it to get every last bit of work we can before we finally relent and upgrade. We’re horrible clients in a business that depends on people buying the new thing as soon as it drops. I get it. I understand why Apple doesn’t pay attention to us. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

This is where the iPad fails me, personally, as a user. No Wacom pen support. I mean, what the fuck. How hard is it to put some pressure sensitivity into the thing? The pen does all the work, all you gotta do is program the thing to read the signals from the stupid pen! I’m not looking for a fully functional photoshop. I just want a good sketching program like Sketchbook or Manga Studio so I can sketch and ink on the go! I mean for fuck’s sake, the Nintendo DS has pressure sensitivity built in. You’re telling me you can’t make your shiny new maxi pad detect a Wacom pen?! ARGH!!!!!

Anyway, I do think this is a pretty solid product. I don’t like the idea of subscriptions for anything so that part of it bugs me. And I don’t like not having built-in ports to plug in usb thumb drives and that. And, of course, the lack of pen support irks the living shit out of me. But I believe more and more people will toss their Kindles and netbooks in favor of a Pad. I’m eager to see how this device evolves. And should it ever include pressure sensitivity for to draw with, you will see a trail of crunchy pants all the way to the Montgomery Mall Apple store.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 10:46 am and is filed under Crunchy Pants, The Future, Toys. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

  • http://duagcore.wordpress.com Cortharis

    Heh. Good commenting on this. But I don’t have high hopes for an enlarged iPhone, because the fact is, anyone who has one isn’t going to pay out again for a larger version of this. There are also a lot of other things that are holding it back from being a productive device. No Keyboard, no video out, no multitasking.

    I don’t think this was the business device that everyone had in mind. I think it’s the casual device that manages to sell every update and upgrade (ie iPhone 4G). It’s unfortunately a formula that’s worked in the past and this is very much the wrong thing to put into that equation. I will be very shocked if this device makes it into 2011.

    I do however like that its very much like a laptop without most of the laptop components that make it bad (noisy fan), however, this technology can and should be put towards a device to mimic all the good things about a laptop without the bad.

  • justarthur

    honestly, when apple announced a tablet, I thought it was going to be one of those things artists used to draw with. So when I heard it was going to be like a giant iTouch, I was like “meh”. It seems alright, but I got my laptop and I’m good with it until it dies.

  • http://togroklife.com greg

    until I can multitask (you can’t listen to music and read at the same time!) and plug in a microphone/headphone/bluetooth adapter and use it as a phone (or as internet voice chat) I’m not going to favor this over any of the other readers out there.

  • http://www.angryzenmaster.com Jamie

    @greg, WHAT?! No tasty jams while reading digicomics?! This is bullshit!!!!

  • http://www.sparebrainsgames.com Wayne

    For what it is, I think that it’s pretty cool. It’s basically an iPod Touch writ large. It has two flavors (ignoring memory size): 802.11 only, or 802.11 + cell connection with AT&T like the Kindle and Nook. It is not a cell phone. And the price points are reasonable IMHO.

    It looks to me like this would be a tremendously useful computer to leave sitting on your coffee table. You want to look up what other stuff Jonathan Frakes has directed, grab the iPad and open IMDB, no need to go to your desktop or open up your laptop. Or your mom calls and emailed you a picture of your niece’s graduation, grab the Pad. My wife and I joke about “toss me that computer”, referring to our iPod Touches. Well, the iPad falls in to this category.

    I would have loved having one of these first half of last year when I had carpal tunnel surgery done to both wrists (not at the same time) and was out of work for four weeks (not straight) to use as an ebook reader. I’ve used Palm Pilots, Dell Windows Mobile PDAs, and iPod Touches as ebook readers: the Touch beats them all for resolution. The Stanza reader for the Touch has direct connections to several publishers, you can also download directly from Project Guttenberg: I’m currently reading a 14th century translation of a French poem which apparently is the origin of the Arthurian story of the infidelity between Guinevere and Lancelot. You can also use a Stanza app on your PC to directly convert documents and upload them to your Touch.

    I’ve looked at other ebook devices before, I’ve played with both the Kindle (1st gen) and the Sonys. Loved ‘em, hated the prices. REALLY hated the prices of their book offerings and their DRM (which the iPad is not free of). But with my Touch, I can directly move files from my Mac to my Touch. I know I couldn’t do that as easily with a Kindle and probably not as easily with a Nook. And I also didn’t want the 24/7 cellular connection that the Kindle and Nook include, thus the iPad having the option of buying a model without the cellular connection really appeals to me.

    Yes, the iPad is more expensive than the offerings from Amazon, B&N, and Sony: but it does so much more. It’s almost a general purpose computer rather than a dedicated ebook that does a couple of other tricks. The iPad is not a general purpose computer because it doesn’t have a direct programming interface.

    And totally agree about the name — iSlate would have been so much better. I think they wanted to keep it short, and iPad is close to iPod, so it serves as a memory jog to keep Apple products fresh in your mind.

    @Greg, I think you can multi-task in a limited way. I have no problem playing music while reading books on my iPod Touch (32 gig 2nd gen). It also can download and apply updates in the background while you’re doing other things.

    I believe there was mention that you will be able to plug in a keyboard in the live blogging that Wired did at the unveiling. And since the Touch has BlueTooth, it’s possible that there will be a Wacom pen for it at some point. Apparently you can buy a stylus for the Touch, but it’s a special device, not just a plastic rod like what you’d have for a standard PDA. I don’t know about USB or card reader slots, since it’s not a fully user-programmable device without a file manager system, I’d tend to doubt that they’ll put in USB, but they might add a card reader slot (which opens a whole new can of worms with which card types do you support).

    I have two concerns. First, how durable is the surface from scratching? And how resistant is it to water? They had a shot in the linked vid of setting it down on a table next to a coffee cup: I was REALLY hoping they were going to knock the cup over on it to show that it’s resistant to such damage. I’d also like to know how long it takes to fully charge and how long is the battery expected to last.

    I am not a rabid Apple fanboi. I use a Macbook Pro (and I also run Windows on it when I absolutely have to), switched to it for home use 2 1/2 years ago. I still use Windows boxes at work, though I much prefer my Mac. I bought my Touch only because Palm took itself out of the PDA market and I didn’t like the Windows Mobile Dell that I bought, and it’s been an amazing device and trouble-free. I like Apple because it’s reliable and solid. If you like your Windows box, go right ahead, I won’t try to convert you. But I might snicker when I hear your OS blew out and you had to reinstall: three Mac laptops in our house and zero OS reinstalls in over 5 years, two of the Macs have been trouble-free, the newest seems to have recurring video problems.

  • Valdars

    I don’t like it. I would not buy it as tablet computer because it is not enough capable and it’s too big to be something really mobile. Also since it has normal screen i refuse to acknowledge it as e-reader.

  • http://www.trashed-ideas.net Max

    As an IT guy for a living, I have a personal mission to stop all things Apple. I feel like they are pure propaganda in a market that would otherwise begin to see even cheaper prices if it weren’t for Apple trading function for “sexy”. There is no multi-tasking, as has been pointed out, no USB, no Bluetooth, no walcom pen, and surfing the web requires a Data contract.

    Lots of people are comparing this to the Kindle. Let me say this for the Kindle, it runs off of a free internet service called WhisperNet that allows you to surf any text-based websites for FREE while also offering their “download a book anywhere” through the same internet. Not many people like to acknowledge this bit of information, but it goes a long way for the average internet surfer to be able to surf your Google Reader or any RSS feed for free vs. the iPad.

    Maybe in later generations Apple will fix some of the features, and I have no doubt it will have a new generational release in the next year, and maybe then the product will be worth something. But as of right now it seems like an overpriced iTouch. I’ve already heard complaints about the tech they use instead of eInk for their book reading. And let’s not forget how often Apple bans random apps from being produced for their hardware meaning any kick ass apps are likely to be taken down unless Apple can turn a profit on it.

    Get a Kindle!

  • Vandring

    Why do people keep saying it doesn’t have Bluetooth? The tech specs for all models include Bluetooth…
    Other than that, hopefully the iPad will be the first of many attempts to get this right. Who knows, maybe this will provide inspiration for ‘the next Apple’ and we’ll get more innovation in general.

  • Kunoichi

    I have……..zero interest in this thing. It’s just a gadget. Pre-existing Apple consumers will eat it up, like they eat up all of Apple’s other products, regardless of their actual worth. Apple is pure brand fluff, and no actual worth underneath. Even if their products were worth my time, I won’t support a company that it is so vicious in it’s trademark protections, so tyrannical in their user-produced material control, or so dishonest in its treatment of its own customers and its attempts to get new customers.

    For the record, Apple only defines smart phones and mp3 players *in the U.S.*. Everywhere else, there’s a lot more competition in the market, and you actually see way more non-Apple products than Apple ones.

  • Taellosse

    There is a keyboard accessory that’ll be available–plugs into the dock port and doubles as a stand, so it looks like a tiny workstation. Which I think is pretty cool, actually. But yeah, I was really pulling hard for pressure sensitivity as well, and without it I will not buy one.

    I’m unfortunately trapped in a horrible netherworld when it comes to tablet computers. I’ve got an older Toshiba tablet PC (from about 2003) which is like a regular laptop except the screen rotates around and comes down to cover the keyboard when it slate mode. which is fine, but its getting old, and its bulky and underpowered. I’d like to get a new one sometime soon. I’d really prefer to get a Mac, since my desktop has been a Mac since 2007. But the only options for that are A) a Macbook pro (which is not a tablet of any kind), B) an iPad (which has no pressure sensitivity and isn’t really a proper computer anyway), or C) get a Modbook from Axiotron (which is slate-only and has no keyboard accessory like the iPad’s or my current machine, not to mention crazily expensive). None of these are palatable. I spend probably 60% of the time I use my current tablet using it as a traditional laptop and 40% of the time using it as a tablet. I basically can’t get what I want with anything Apple-based.

  • http://www.spwug.com/ Richard “Pocky” Kim

    In respects to the multi-tasking:

    It CAN play music at the same time as one other program, as long as the music is coming from the iPod functionality (like iPhones and iPod Touches).

    It CANNOT (currently) run a website or other application to play music (like Pandora) while you use another application. I believe Engadget and Gizmodo have both touched upon this.

    So: Music and one app? Yes.

    Streamed music and an app? No.

  • http://samuraiartguy.livejournal.com Samuraiartguy

    Oh whoa… the iThing into and the State of the Frakked-up Union address the same day… my brain meatz are a little fried. And I tried to WORK too? What’s WRONG with me?

    That said, being roped into being Pres of the local Mac User group I kind of have to pay attention to this stuff, since to the noobs, I am supposed to be this weird sage techLord. Be that as it my, the iSlab is an impressive product, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover the “under $1000″ was not the usual denial-speak for $995.99, with the base gizmo at $499. Cool.

    So impressed, yes. Blown away. No, not really. For openers, the hype was just INSANE, and people were expecting DAS UBER TABLET… that can do ANYTHING… and give you oral sex, with unlimited battery life. I also noted the things left out that were not really technical hurdles, but CHOICES by Apple. No Camera, no USB connectivity, no wired data transfer options. And still, infuriatingly, no Flash Player – which is 75% if the Video Content on the Web. But having followed other Apple product cycles, gives them room to add goodies in further generations.

    Been there.

    As a device, once stripped of hype. Not bad.

    Magical? STOP THAT. It’s SCIENCE and TECHNOLOGY you pious arrogant fucks. I swear I could hear, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Magic.” -Authur C. Clarke. To a drooling Cro-magnon emerging from his damp and dusty cave, sure. But we’re grown up adults in a technological age, gorram it. I may not be able to BUILD the circuit board in my computer, but I have a pretty good general idea, both physics and mechanically how it WORKS.

    But the other issue, is I, and likely MOST of AZM’s readers are NOT the iSlate’s target audience. The iPad is, as has been noted all over the web, an “iPod Touch Extreme.” I am a Graphic and Web Designer… and I don’t see Brushes replacing Photoshop anytime soon, or the rest of Creative Suite running on the iPhone OS. I am a creative pro, so when I use a computer, I need the firepower.

    Sure I like to listen to music, browse the web, get my news, read webcomics, do email, watch a video (FLLASH!!!!!) play a game, or jot a note…. but I also need the rest of the computing muscles to do what I DO. For me this thing would be a purely recreational device. But for the audience that Apple is pitching to, what it does is fine. The stuff I mentioned is what 90% of casual computer users do with 90% of their time.

    But iPad is a ironic name. Like a sketch pad, fine to jot, scribble sketch on. But I am NOT going to try to design, lay out, typeset, color separate, and prepress a 60-page annual Report on a Sketch Pad. For that I need to fire up the G5 or the MacBook Pro.

    When I am out, otherwise, all I need my phone to do is COMMUNICATE. Remember that? Make phone calls, remember phone numbers. I’m good. Which has saved me from buying an iPhone.

    But if a nano landed in this house… would be nice to run with.

    Banzai.

  • http://FedoraMocha.Blogspot.com Jack

    Eh. I think I would rather have one of these:
    http://www.axiotron.com/index.php?id=modbook

  • D2k

    @Jack that’s exactly what I want in a tablet, the iPad is just a large size iPodTouch, terrible little OS and all, if I get something with a larger than 6″ screen I want a real OS on it and really OSX is a great OS if you want to use a pointer interface only.
    My 3D windowing system I wrote for my senior thesis was a better pointer only system, but it was written in Looking Glass which was an absolutely terrible system, so I never used it outside of the time I spent working on it for my thesis.
    Oh well AR/VR is my perfect future interface anyway, so everything look boring right now.

  • http://www.sparebrainsgames.com Wayne

    @Max: I’ve been an IT professional for over 25 years and go back to PC-Dos and earlier. I have worked with every version of Windows, and they all have varying levels of suck. I think you’re misdirecting your energies. Macs, for the most part, are reliable tech becasue Apple controls as much of the hardware that they can. I have gone over 2 months without having to reboot my laptop, can’t say the same for any of the Windows servers or workstations that I work with. I’m a DBA and have been for over 15 years, and the only reason I have a Windows box in my house is to pull programs off my Tivo. I could do it on my Mac, I just haven’t bothered with it yet.

    The iPad is an iPod Touch on steroids, nothing more. Within that context and limitations, it’s going to be a pretty cool device. It’s not the end all of tablets, but it’s not bad as an information appliance.

  • http://www.theideacan.com DaVincisGhost

    I gotta agree on the shitiness of no REAL multi-tasking, lack of usb, no video output, and the fact that it’s really just an iPod with elephantitis. It does support the use of SD cards through a crappy looking card reader that connects to the dock port and kills the “there’s no wrong way to hold it” thing. I mean how the hell are you going to comfortably hold it in your lap in portrait mode with an SD card reader digging into your junk? The lack of Wacom pen support is due to the use of a capacitive touch screen (allowing you to use a finger) instead of a resistive touch screen (requiring the use of a stylus). You’d still be able to use something like the PoGo Pen with the iPad, but aside from apps like Brushes and Alias Sketchbook Mobile, there really isn’t shit for artistic apps for these things.

    If I were just looking for something to replace an eReader (I’m waiting for color), I’d go with the Notion Ink Adam that will be released later this year from a small Indian startup (http://www.engadget.com/2010/01/08/notion-ink-adam-stripped-bare-and-our-in-depth-video-hands-on/). It at least supports 1080p video output, can play pretty high framerate video games (using the built in NVidia Tegra 2 chip), has a built in SD card reader, 3G, WiFi, runs Android, and (using Pixel Qi’s brilliantly designed led backlit screen) is able to combine eInk and LCD technology into one package. Plus it will cost about the same or less than the iCrap.

    Personally, I’ve got a design that I’ve been working on for the last 10 years that (if I can ever get the capital together to actually make it) will most likely blow the doors off all the tablets that are basically giant touch screen PDAs. How does multi-touch with 500 levels of finger pressure sensitivity, either 32gb or 64gb solid state HD, two SDHC card readers for an extra 64gb of space for artwork, 10.1″ Pixel Qi eInk/LCD display, 1080p video output, 3 USB ports, wireless charging, the ability to link two units for dual display, and WiFi, Bluetooth, and 3G connectivity sound?

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