Bill and Ted Get Scraped Off the Bottom of the Well
image courtesy Halolz
I remember sitting in the theater watching Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey and realizing for the very first time that “Hey, this movie fucking SUCKS!” Now I’m certain I had seen horrible movies in the theater before, but this was the first time I actually realized that it was possible for movies to suck. This came as a horrible revelation because watching a movie in the theater was and still is one of my most favorite things to do. Bogus Journey was a sort of angry zen-like wakeup call and I haven’t been the same since. So I greet the news sent along by Angry Zen Minion JT that there will be a third Bill and Ted’s Something Fucking Stupid with much eye-rolling and trepidation.
What continues to boggle my mind is that Keanu Reeves had any sort of career after those two movies and not Alex Winter. It’s not like Keanu did the burned out surfer loser much better than Alex. Seemed to me that they both brought an equivalent intensity to their performances. Why didn’t Alex’s career take off as much as Keanu’s?
I am not impressed. It’s been twenty fucking years. Who gives two shits about Bill or Ted or their Wyld Stallyns. The first one was fun, the second one broke me, this third one should never be made. And the shitty thing is, this dreck will probably do better in the theaters than something awesome like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and that irritates the shit out of me. Bill S Preston Esquire, Ted Theodore Logan, stay the fuck in San Dimas.