Bill and Ted Get Scraped Off the Bottom of the Well

image courtesy Halolz

I remember sitting in the theater watching Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey and realizing for the very first time that “Hey, this movie fucking SUCKS!” Now I’m certain I had seen horrible movies in the theater before, but this was the first time I actually realized that it was possible for movies to suck. This came as a horrible revelation because watching a movie in the theater was and still is one of my most favorite things to do. Bogus Journey was a sort of angry zen-like wakeup call and I haven’t been the same since. So I greet the news sent along by Angry Zen Minion JT that there will be a third Bill and Ted’s Something Fucking Stupid with much eye-rolling and trepidation.

What continues to boggle my mind is that Keanu Reeves had any sort of career after those two movies and not Alex Winter. It’s not like Keanu did the burned out surfer loser much better than Alex. Seemed to me that they both brought an equivalent intensity to their performances. Why didn’t Alex’s career take off as much as Keanu’s?

I am not impressed. It’s been twenty fucking years. Who gives two shits about Bill or Ted or their Wyld Stallyns. The first one was fun, the second one broke me, this third one should never be made. And the shitty thing is, this dreck will probably do better in the theaters than something awesome like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and that irritates the shit out of me. Bill S Preston Esquire, Ted Theodore Logan, stay the fuck in San Dimas.

Source: io9

  • torsoboy

    I personally do not like most of the roles Keanu takes, but I think he can be a pretty ok actor. Not even close to my top 5, but a pretty ok guy. My favorite Keanu movie was Chain Reaction, but I haven’t cared much for anything after that. I gotta say, though, that this news has the same effect that I imagine news of Jim Carey reprising a Dumb and Dumber role would. It’s a step backwards. It may be for nostalgia, but a step backwards is a step backwards. Especially for Keanu. Considering the roles he takes now a days, this will just reinforce the stereotype set on him by the first Bill and Ted movies. Bad form!

  • Kairaven

    Hmm, I can’t really say what I would feel about a 3rd B&T film, especially now that George Carlin is gone. I can’t really say that any of the B&T films are good either, but it’s certainly some of the movies I would place under “so Bad it is good again”.

    As far as the career difference between Keanu and Alex, I just have to say, Keanu did a hell of a lot more than Alex, and should therefor be more successful, I don’t know if it’s because Alex’s agent couldn’t get him role or what, but he like seriously dropped out the scenes after B&T, while Keanu took on ton of roles, not all of it good, not all of it mainstream, but Keanu was out there.

  • elucidarian

    I actually enjoyed the Bogus journey. Maybe I’m just a sucker for time travel and alternate realities and the undead, but it’s a silly kind of movie that’s just for fun so I don’t take much offense. Sure there were parts I didn’t care for, but overall it made me smile. While it may be unnecessary to invoke the film trilogy for Bill & Ted, I do believe any story continuation can be good if done right.

  • Kunoichi

    While I enjoyed the Bill&Ted movies, that was back when I was a kid and they were still somehow timely. The Bill&Ted movies are full of late-1980s references, and that was a large part of the fun.

    Remakes of really old films can be a good thing, bringing a new take on a story. But a 20 year old stupid buddy comedy? No. No good will come of this.

  • Yusaku777

    My reaction is the same as it was when I heard this last week. From a pop culture perspective, this is at least 10 years too early for true nostalgia.

    From a reality perspective? Alex Winter needs to eat, man.

  • John Smith

    …Bill S Preston Esquire, Ted Theodore Logan, Spock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan came out of nowhere lightning fast, and they kicked Chuck Norris on his cowboy ass.

  • Wayne Zombie

    I liked the first movie for two reasons. First, it was a clever gimmick. Second, they filmed it mostly in Phoenix, where I grew up. I could drive you around and show you various film locations. That was very cool. And Carlin was awesome!

    But the second film? There were only two things that I really liked about it. First, the Star Trek shooting location. Very iconic. Second, the game sequence with Death. That was a very good farcical take on that whole trope.

    A third movie? Shall not be seen by my eyes, unless someone MST3K’s it at a convention that I happen to be attending.