The Mandarin Teaches

I’m pretty sure I’m going to get kicked out of the theater when I go see Iron Man 3 because how can you not laugh your ass off when you hear Ben Kingsley do his Hobo Santa Claus teachings?  I’m guessing that his weird, not-quite-Texas accent is on purpose, but it makes me laugh almost as hard as Bane’s car salesman voice.  Ugh.  Also, that CG insert of him on that television screen in Air Force 1 looks so fake.

So I guess we’ll be taking the Mandarin at his word.  In one of the previous trailers, we hear him say that he considers himself a teacher.  Lesson one has already been given and I suspect it has something to do with blowing up Tony’s house.  Lesson two appears to be “even if you seem like a good guy, I’ma shoot you in your face.”  I can only imagine lesson three is something like “I’ma tell you my plan so that you can stop it because plot.”

Now granted, I’d rather the Mandarin not be in this movie at all.  He’s a shitty villain from a period in time when it was acceptable to demonize Asians because racism.  So I guess Ben Kingsley doing his Texas accent thing is probably better than someone else doing a Fu Manchu accent thing.  But the more I see of him in these clips and trailers, the harder it is for me to take this shit seriously.  Between the flimsy, plastic Cracker Jack rings to his Texaswag, hobo Santa Clause is unintentionally hysterical.