Jamie

Skynet to Deliver Your Amazon Shit in 30min or Less

It’s difficult to imagine a world where flying packages are routine.  Then again, it used to be difficult to imagine a world where a computer would fit in your pocket.  It’s only a matter of time before the FAA figures out the rules for this shit, but I think Amazon Prime Air is the way of the future.

Certainly, you’d want to be home when Batteries Not Included shows up with your DVDs or send the shit to your workplace.  It would also be kind of cool to have a little delivery ledge for Amazon’s Hunter Killer if you work a few stories up.  And if more companies adopt a delivery drone model, it’s easy to imagine Reaper delivered pizza.  It would certainly change the meaning of a delivery person.  They’d have to hire a skilled drone pilot instead of a high school kid looking to score some extra cash.  Or that high school kid would have to play nothing but flight sims.

However, a few hurdles come instantly to mind.  I foresee a lot of people trying to down the drones in transit either by chucking rocks or worse, firearms.  They would have to fly at a height that’s out of rock throwing range, but low enough so that they don’t interfere with airplanes.

If multiple companies adopt a similar program, they would have to coordinate with each other to ensure drones don’t crash into one another.  Or maybe they’d all have some sort of early warning proximity system installed.

Weather would also be a factor.  Under extremely windy conditions, quadcopter Charlie would get blown way off course or just crash.  Windy conditions.  You’re just gonna have to get your shit tomorrow instead 30 minutes from now. Deal.

There could be some privacy concerns.  After all, Taka Candroid will undoubtedly have a camera or two or four to see where it’s going.  OR TO SPY ON YOU.

I also seriously doubt that Washington, D.C. would allow drones to fly anywhere near the White House or the Capital so D.C. residents, don’t get your hopes up.

Still, I kind welcome our new delivery fin funnels.  It’d be fun as hell to see them wiz back and fourth delivering all kinds of weird shit to people.  Once they figure out the kinks, I could easily see them as something we take for granted.  And who wouldn’t want a pizza delivered by a Flying Shark!

The Machine Breathes New Life Into Our Eventual Destruction

It may be that my brain meats have been shaped by science fiction more than science fact, but I truly believe that there will come a day when machines wise up and try to end us.  It would seem that writer and director Caradog W. James agrees and adds The Machine to a long list of movies warning us of the dangers of artificial intelligence becoming too smart.

Britain is in a Cold War with a new enemy, the Ministry of Defense is on the brink of developing a game-changing weapon. Lead scientist Vincent McCarthy (Toby Stephens) provides the answer with his creation, ‘The Machine’- an android with unrivalled physical and processing skills. When a programming glitch causes an early prototype to destroy his lab, McCarthy enlists artificial intelligence expert Ava (Caity Lotz) to help him harness the full potential of a truly conscious fighting machine.

I love the noir feel of the trailer that mixes the best parts of Blade Runner and the original Terminator.  Caity Lotz is incredibly creepy as the machine.  Those contacts and that voice will give me nightmares for ages.

As good as this looks, the one thing that stands out to me more and more with the sci fi movies these days is that our future seems to be devoid of minorities.  Clearly, this must be an alternative reality because in the really real world, the population is just getting more and more diverse.  Granted, this film takes place in Britain which has never touted it’s diversity as much as we have here in the good ol’ U-Melting-Pot-S-of-A.  But my impression is that in general, the world is trending towards more diversity, not less.

Still, it looks like an interesting take on a familiar theme.  And it’s certainly better than the last Terminator flick.  Bleh.

The film drops March 2014.  Check the facebook page for more info.

Ghost in the Plane

Melinda May is sick of your shit. Or maybe this show.

Melinda May is sick of your shit. Or maybe this show.

You know what, I really liked this episode.  Like, like liked. Not, weeeelllll it’s not terrible liked.  Repairs is a great example of what works well with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  The ensemble really shined.  We got Fitz and Simmons trying to prank Skye.  Coulson told us about what made Melinda May so cold.  Melinda May actually opened up.  Skye was useful and somehow, Ward didn’t make me roll my eyes.  If you’ve been holding out on S.H.I.E.L.D., this one might be a good one to check out.

The show was picked up for a full 22 episode season.  Hopefully this marks a turning point.

I’ll try not to be too spoilery because I actually think it’s worth watching, but here are some of my favorite bits:

  • Fitz and Simmons fill the nerd quotient of the show admirably.  But as pranksters, they are terrible.
  • Ward and May hooking up makes a lot more sense than Ward and Skye and I honestly don’t hate it as much as I thought I would.  It’s kind of a surprise seeing how hard the show spent the early episodes trying to mash Ward and Skye together, but it’s actually kind of welcome.
  • Coulson’s love of antiques is precious.
  • Until we hear it directly from Melinda May, I don’t think we’ll ever know her full story.  But what Coulson tells us is heartbreaking enough.
  • Somehow, this episode is more of a crossover with Thor: The Dark World than last week’s.
  • Melinda May wins without kicking. Fucking hardcore.

In two weeks, The Bridge will feature the return of Mike Peterson who starred as the hooded guy in the pilot episode.  This means a return of the Centipede which should probably be AIM or Hydra or something and for once, I’m actually kind of looking forward to it.

DAY OF THE DOCTOR!!!!

Now With More Explosions!

ZOMG SO GOOD!!!!

Final warning, this post will contain nothing but SPOILERZ!!!!  So if you haven’t seen it yet, turn back as fast as yea can!

Seen it?  Good. Let’s do this!

THE THREE DOCTORS

Whenever Doctors meet past or future selves, the encounters are usually awkward and tense.  Certainly, they work together in the end, but they don’t like being in close proximity.  Ten and Eleven are different.  They can’t help but enjoy each other’s company.  It’s truly a joy to see Matt Smith and David Tennant on screen with each other.  They play so very well off of each other you wish it could go on forever.

Adding John Hurt into the mix was absolutely brilliant.  Though chronologically the youngest Doctor, at times it felt like he was the dad for the two older versions.  The three of them were so great together.  I was sad to see it end.  It absolutely broke my heart when Tennant said, “I don’t want to go” before he stepped into his TARDIS.  Gah!!!! THE FEELS!

BAD WOLF

I love that the ultimate weapon of the Time Lords tries its best to save as many lives as possible.  Rose as the conscience of The Moment was pretty genius.  Though I guess it wasn’t really Rose.  The Moment pulled a memory from the Doctor’s future.  And this is the part where I start to think too much and everything starts to break down.

If The Moment always had a conscience, it stands to reason that when the War Doctor first tried to push the big red button, she pulled her Jacob Marley act showing him his future selves.  In one version of the timeline, the War Doctor pushed the button anyway.  In the version that we saw, he didn’t push the button.  Which means there are probably an infinite number of possible outcomes which means there are an infinite number of alternate universes which starts to break my brain a little.

Orrrrrrr the version we saw was always the version that happened, but because of timey whimey wibbly wobbly, the War Doctor, Ten, and Eleven forgot their time together and thought that they had pushed the button all along.  I kind of like to think that this is the way it went down because that moment has shaped new Doctor Who since Eccleston.

Now that Eleven has relearned that he saved his home, Peter Capaldi’s Twelve can spend a season looking for it.

SPACE TIME NAZIS

Which brings us to a really big problem.  From everything we’ve learned over the years about the Great Time War, the Time Lords had become just like their hated foe, the Daleks.  If the Doctor didn’t stop them, darkness would have engulfed all of reality.

Wellllll now that we know Gallifrey falls no more, those dickish Time Lords are still around.  They’re still in battle mode which means their still space time Nazis willing to sacrifice pretty much anything to destroy the Daleks.  This probably isn’t the home the Doctor wants to return to.  It’s great that he saved so many lives, but some of those lives are dangerous assholes.  How will he deal with the militant Time Lord council once he frees them?

Still, I would like to see more Time Lords.  Okay, I’m lying.  I really just want to know what happened to Romana.  Did she survive the Time Wars up until the point that the Doctor froze Gallifrey?

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL — THE TIME OF THE DOCTOR

timeOftheDoctor

The BBC has released the air date (Dec 25) and title of the Christmas special, “The Time of the Doctor,” along with this short synopsis:

Orbiting a quiet backwater planet, the massed forces of the universe’s deadliest species gather, drawn to a mysterious message that echoes out to the stars. And amongst them – the Doctor. Rescuing Clara from a family Christmas dinner, the Time Lord and his best friend must learn what this enigmatic signal means for his own fate and that of the universe.

And look! A teaser!

Overall, I thought the 50th episode was a lot of fun.  I found it to be a fitting tribute to fifty years of Doctor Who.  As fun as it was, I am still dismayed that the older Doctors were not asked to come back for the 50th.  Yes, I’ve seen the 5 Doctors(ish) webisode and Paul McGann got his chance to shine in that short prequel, but I really think there could have been a way to get the old Doctors into the episode.  Tom Baker had a weird ass cameo, could have snuck the others in.  Still, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.  I can’t wait to watch it again!

Dear FOX, PLEASE STOP MAKING WOLVERINE MOVIES

Mmmmmm... veins...

Mmmmmm… veins…

The Wolverine came out on blu-ray this week and I finally had a chance to watch it.  And it was good.  Certainly better than Origins.  Certainly better than X-3.  And I suppose if it was the first or second Wolverine flick, it would be pretty awesome.  But it’s the fifth fucking Wolverine movie.  And though no one can argue with Hugh Jackman’s on screen presence as our favorite claw poppin’ Canuck, I’m kind of done with Wolverine.

The Best At Being Overexposed

I realize that I’m going to sound like one of those comic book guy, douchebags.  But fuck it.  What they’ve done to Wolverine is a travesty.

When Wolverine joined the X-Men in Giant Sized X-Men #1 became an instant fan favorite.  He was a short, disgruntled, cigar smoking anti-hero with a bad attitude and razor fist claws.  He never played well with others which made him the loner of the group, a seeming outcast on a team of outcasts.  Yet, when it came time to tussle with evil mutants or giant Sentinels, he was the first on the scene to fight for justice.

His past was shrouded in mystery which only served to heighten fan interest.  If the internet had been around then, I’m sure the forums and message boards would have been filled with fan speculation about where he came from, how he got his claws, how his powers worked.

He was bad enough to be edgy but good enough to take younger mutants like Kitty Pryde under his wing.  Sorta like the grizzled uncle who you can always rely on even when he’s getting into bar fights and drinking to dull his pain.

Wolverine continued to be a staple of all the X titles throughout the 80’s and 90’s.  But somehow, I never felt like it was too much.  He still had that edge to him, that air of mystery.  Even when Magneto sucked the adamantium out of his body and we had years of bone claws, Wolverine was still the best at what he did, punching fools with claws.

And then, Origin.

Good. Fucking. Lord.

Of all the dumb shit stunts comics have pulled to cash in, none has destroyed a character as much as Origin.  Logan’s inability to remember much about his past or how he got his adamantium gave him pathos.  After all, the search for self is one of our strongest, inner most struggles.  Sure, we may know where we were born and our personal history, but the search for our essential selves defines us.  Logan’s journey to fill that hole left by his lost memories made him infinitely relate-able on a very deep and personal level.  It elevated the myth of the Wolverine.

Annnnnd now we know he was a whiny little brat.  Yay. Brafuckingvo. I really needed to know that he was the product of an illicit affair between a red head and a farm hand.  Oh, but it explains his fascination with Jean? I DON’T FUCKING CARE!  I KNOW WHY HE’S FASCINATED WITH JEAN!  BECAUSE CHEMISTRY AND SEX AND THE BIRDS AND FUCKING BEES!!  GAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAA!!!!!!!!  Fuck!

It destroyed all the mystery, all the myth, all the questioning, and ultimately proved to be a horribly unsatisfying experience.  And that’s when the most dangerous mutant in comics became safe and boring and overexposed.  He joined the Avengers, he got a cartoon, he grew taller, he started a school. Good ol’ unca Logan-sempai and his universe of young eager mutant kohai.  Blehhhh.  Which brings me to the movies.

Wolverine Featuring X-Men, Wolverine 2, Wolverine: The Last Stand, Wolverine: Origins, Wolverine Goes to Japan

Every X-Men movie except for First Class has been about Wolverine:

  • X-Men. Wolverine joins the team to stop Magneto.
  • X2.  A man from Logan’s past returns to destroy mutant kind and it’s up to Wolverine to stop him.
  • X-Men: Last Stand.  Wolverine leads the X-Men to defeat Jean.
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine. A retelling of Login’s origin mixing in bits from the Origin comic and shit. Big stinky piles of shit.
  • The Wolverine. Wolverine goes to Japan because Silver Samurai.

Apparently, Wolverine puts asses in seats.  I think only James Bond has made more film appearances and even then, the titular character has been played by multiple actors.  Although, I think Roger Moore was Bond seven times compared to Hugh Jackman’s five times as Wolverine.  Six if you count his First Class cameo.  And now seven when we count Days of Future Wolverine.

Anyway, that’s a whole lot of Wolverine.  And I’m kind of done with him.  This latest film featured the most savage and brutal Wolverine that we’ve ever seen on screen.  Honestly?  It was boring.  Ohhhh, but his healing factor is slowed?  Was there ever really the possibility of him dying?  Not really.  Since we see him running around punching things with razor claws while his stomach is bleeding out, it didn’t really seem like his slowed healing factor didn’t seem to be a problem.  The stakes weren’t there.  So if he’s not going to die, where’s the tension?  Mariko’s in danger.  Ummm… she kinda killed a dude with a room key.  She’s doing fine.

Seeing Wolverine doing what he does best should never be boring.  I should never roll my eyes when the claws pop and he punches dudes.  Yet I found myself looking for other things to do as Logan sliced things.  There’s nothing special about him anymore.

Wolverine: Days of Logan Past

That’s what worries me about Days of Future Snikt.  Instead of Kitty going back to warn the X-Men, we have Logan which makes this the sixth Wolverine film.  I don’t think I can sit through another one.  Certainly, there will be other mutants peppered throughout the thing to entice my nerd sensibilities.  But if the main focus is Logan as it was in the previous X-films, I think it’s going to be a big disappointment.

The FOX X-Franchise has proven that it doesn’t do ensemble casts well.  While I felt everyone got their chance to shine in Avengers, the X-Films (except First Class) have starred Wolverine featuring other mutants.  Days of Logan Past promises an extensive lineup of mutants.  Maybe too many.  I worry that we’ll only get snippets of the others while Logan remains our one constant thread.

I think less Wolverine would make more of an impact.  Keep the claws in until the very end of the movie.  Keep him in the background until he really needs to be there.  Let the ensemble shine.

So please, FOX, for the love of admantium claws, stop making Wolverine movies and make us a right and proper X-Film.  You did a pretty good job with First Class.  I’m hoping you can do the same with Days of Future Past.

MASTER GRADE GUNDAM BUILD FIGHTERS

HobbyLink Japan is GunPla Expo 2013 and is tweeting all sorts of sexy goodness including this drool worthy lineup:


No details on when these beauties are hitting shelves, but I am so stupid excited! If you haven’t been watching Gundam Build Fighters, catch up right the fuck now with this playlist:

It’s one big love letter to Gunpla. Yes, I suppose that makes every episode a half hour commercial for Gunpla, but I don’t give a fuck. It’s awesome. It has a guy named Mr. Ral whom everyone calls “taichou” because he’s fucking awesome. The suits in the show are all custom builds of Mobile Suits throughout Gundam’s history. So to see some of these versions get official Master Grade releases is beyond amazing!

I’m hoping we’ll get a more detailed write up of the expo soon because I totally need these on my shelf!

The Hungry Games: Catching Fur

The Hungry Games: Catching Fur!

Join Cookiness Evereat, Finnicky, Tick Tock Lady, and Pita as they attempt to survive the battle arena in the 75 Hungry Games Quarter Quell. Yes, I read the books and shit.

This is an adorable parody of something that should be kind of sickening.  The Hunger Games was pretty entertaining, but it didn’t quite translate the absolute horror of the entire situation as well as the books did.  I think Battle Royale did a much better job making you feel the absurd terror of kids forced to kill each other.  But I did enjoy the first film.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opens this weekend!

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