Pick up the pieces. Uh huh. Pick up the pieces. Oh yeah.
“The Well” was promoted as the AMAZEBALLS Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. crossover event with Thor: The Dark World. Does it pay off?
Well, we do get to spend some brief time on a set from the movie that was featured in maybe a half a scene. And there is an Asgardian. But if you were expecting guest stars from the movie making cameo appearances or any encounters with Dark Elves, you’d be sadly disappointed. This episode was meant to give us a reason to connect with Ward.
We open with Team Coulson cleaning up after Thor’s mess. They’re looking for any alien tech that might get out to the public. And thus ends the crossover and out time on a movie set.
Meanwhile, some neo-pagans find part of an Asgardian staff embedded in an old Norwegian wood and get rage powers. So we’re on an artifact hunt to look for something that wasn’t actually in the movie at all. Why bother saying this shit is a crossover?
The artifacts is one third of the Berzerker Staff which instantly made me think of this:
It was left here ages ago when an Asgardian decided to stay on earth after a big battle. The Berzerker Staff unlocks the rage within any who touch it while giving them super strength. The warrior thought the staff to be too dangerous so he broke it into three pieces and hid it.
Team Coulson consults with some professor guy who turns out to be the Asgardian warrior who really turns out to be an Asgardian mason and I kinda just don’t care anymore. Ward touches the second piece of the staff and he remembers the time when he chucked a kid down a well and wanted to save him but his brother wouldn’t let him or his brother got chucked in a well or something or some well with Samara who isn’t your daughter and if you don’t make copies of the vhs she’ll kill you from the tv… man, I’m really just not connecting with this episode. Even when he’s rage face, Grant Ward is just boring. Certainly, he’s got the build. We get some nice shirtless-o-clock time with him. He can be a male model. But he can’t carry this episode.
So Ward now has rage powers. The physical strength will wear off in a matter of hours. But the pit of rage, the thing that the staff forced him to face, will be there for decades. This makes Ward a ticking time bomb. The funniest shit to me is that when Melinda May touches the staff, it’s no biggie. Yes, she sees shit, but she sees it every day. Much like Bruce Banner is angry all the time, Melinda May is seething hate always. But because she’s so badass, she keeps it in check. It actually makes her more frightening than any of them.
The only other thing that’s significant is Coulson’s dream. He’s getting a massage in Tahini and he feels truly relaxed. He remarks to the masseuse, “Tahiti’s too good to be true.”
She relies, “I know. It’s a magical place.”
Coulson wakes up in a pool of sweat.
Only two more episodes to find out what the fuck it all means!
My friend Marty asked me to tell him when this show became MUST SEE. We’re not even close. And we’ve only got two episodes to make geeks give a shit again. I’d be surprised as hell if this gets picked up for a second season, but if it does, man, they really gotta do something with Ward and Skye. Make them villains or something.