Point Break, The Dark World
If you got sucked into the trailers for Thor: The Dark World, you might have expected a very grimdark sequel. If that’s made you wary of the film, have no fear. Though there are bits that are pretty dark, the overall tone of this movie is much more playful and fun than the trailers have implied. It almost crosses the line into comedy were it not for those darker, more sinister moments. The tone shifts jumped me out of the movie from time to time, but I think overall, it was a good installment to the franchise. I don’t think they should make a third film unless it’s a Loki movie. But I didn’t feel like I wasted a movie ticket.
So I’m going to review things based on the characters and I’m listing them from my least favorite to most favorite. There may be a few spoilers here and there, but I will warn you WITH BIG BOLD LETTERS AND SHIT!
THE HAMMER IS MY HAMMER. AND POSSIBLY MY PENIS
Ani? My goodness, you’ve grown.
Movie Jane Foster is supposed to be a super nerd. We don’t get to see any of her science powers until the very end of the movie and it’s a bit disappointing. I like my leading ladies to do more than just moon over lost love.
In less capable hands, Jane’s dialog probably would have fallen flat. But Natalie does what she can with the material and comes off very sincere. She has some real chemistry with Chris Hemsworth and the two of them are enjoyable to watch together as a couple. I just wish we saw her science more.
Thor has grown since his time with the Avengers. No longer is he the cocky, arrogant jock. He’s thoughtful, reflective. It’s great to see that the events of previous films have made a lasting impact on him.
ONE BROKE GIRL
Now, the intern has become the master.
I thought Kat Dennings was hysterical in the first one and apparently so did Marvel. Darcy gets a lot more screen time. She’s kind of a scene stealer. Whenever she and Jane are on screen, we’re watching Darcy. She also takes a much more active role in the film than Jane. Things happen to Jane. Darcy makes things happen. It’s an interesting role reversal which makes it hard for me to think of Jane as anything but something for Thor to protect. Something. Not someone.
THIS IS MY BOY’S GIRL. STAY THE FUCK AWAY
Talk shit, get hit!
We hardly got to see any of Frigga in the first one. This film makes up for that in a pretty surprising way. Frigga gets to kick quite a lot of ass and almost ends the film early were it not for evil intervention. She’s super badass and I kind of wish we got to spend more time with her. Rene Russo has some pretty good sword skills. Y’all better take notice!
THE DARK ELVES
I’m the Doctor and this is my companion, Rose.
The aesthetics of the Dark Elves were amazing! I loved their uniforms, their masks, their tech. I really want a Cursed mask. So fucking amazing. They looked scary as all fuck. I totally need a Kursed mask.
That said, I felt that their leader, Malaketh played by Christopher Eccleston, was a bit of a punching bag. He kind of really sucks at fighting which is terrible for a Big Bad. He looks like he can eat your soul. He sounds like he can rip the flesh from your bones. But he’s a total pushover.
His right hand man, Algrim, was so much more intimidating. I guess that’s part of the point of a second in command. The setup implied that Malaketh was so much more badass than he turned out to be which totally lowered the stakes when it came time for the final battle.
STACKER PENTEGOD
You brought a ship to a knife fight? LOLZ!
Idris Elba is back as Heimdall and is amazing as always. And this is the part I can’t help but spoil.
HE FUCKING KILLS AN DARK ELF SPACESHIP WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!!! A KNIFE!!!!!
Can he please be in more things?! I think it would be cool if there was a Heimdall Tales series where he tells us stories of some of the more interesting things he sees. It would be so fun to hear Idris narrate something like that. Also, more spaceship stabbing. Fuck the haters, Idris is perfect as Heimdall!
THE WARRIORS THREE AND LADY SIF
Hey, Warner Bros. I’m pretty much Wonder Woman so get your shit together!
The movie kicks off with some great action from the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. In general, they get much more to do in this film so it’s a bit disappointing when they all but disappear from the third act. I kind of want to spend more time with them. They are so much more interesting than Thor which is pretty bad if it’s your movie.
There are so many adventures I want to go on with them which I think is a triumph of the actors. I would love to see a television series starring them. It would be so much more fun than Agents of S.N.O.R.E. Also, I kinda want to see Jaime Alexander as Wonder Woman. Sif is pretty much the Marvel version of Wondy. It just needs to happen.
THE REAL REASON YOU’RE SEEING THIS MOVIE
Kneel!
Let’s face it, there’s only one real reason you’re watching this thing. Though it’s Natalie, no one really cares about Jane Foster. Darcy is cute, but not enough to buy a 3D ticket. Eccleston certainly has his lot of Whovians, but there’s no TARDIS in this theater. We all bought tickets to see Tom Hiddleston’s smoldery eyes in that green costume.
This is a film for Loki fans. There is so much Trickster God goodness in this movie I could almost hear tumblr swoon. Hiddleston really is the breakout star of the Marvel films and he’s absolutely fantastic. Honestly, I could have done with more him and less everyone else. I don’t know if Marvel would ever dare to make a Loki film, but I think it would be box office gold. I’d love to see him in a battle of wits against Hela. So many good moments from him. Sure, he didn’t KILL A SPACESHIP WITH A KNIFE, but he has some truly amazing moments.
THE BATTLE OF NEW YORK
The thing I really like about the Marvel universe is that these movies build upon each other. The Battle of New York is referenced more than once. If Warner Bros is smart and wants to cash in on DC movies like Marvel, all of their movies from Justice League to Superman 2 will make reference to the Battle of Metropolis. You turn entire city blocks into dust without the entire world noticing. They have to acknowledge that in order to build a movie universe. It helps make all these Marvel movie re-watchable. You can binge all of them any time a new one comes out. Warner Bros has to build that kind of world for their comic movies to perform as well as Marvel’s.
Overall, I thought it was a little uneven. The tone made some wild swings and the final battle just didn’t feel like the stakes were high enough. Malaketh wasn’t as scary bad as I thought he should have been. But I definitely enjoyed sitting in the theater and seeing it on a big screen. Not sure I’d bother with a third Thor in the theater. I think they’ve worn out their welcome. But a Loki movie, FUCK YES I’d see that!
