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The Return of Myeh Myeh

Point Break, The Dark World

Point Break, The Dark World

If you got sucked into the trailers for Thor: The Dark World, you might have expected a very grimdark sequel.  If that’s made you wary of the film, have no fear. Though there are bits that are pretty dark, the overall tone of this movie is much more playful and fun than the trailers have implied.  It almost crosses the line into comedy were it not for those darker, more sinister moments.  The tone shifts jumped me out of the movie from time to time, but I think overall, it was a good installment to the franchise.  I don’t think they should make a third film unless it’s a Loki movie.  But I didn’t feel like I wasted a movie ticket.

So I’m going to review things based on the characters and I’m listing them from my least favorite to most favorite.  There may be a few spoilers here and there, but I will warn you WITH BIG BOLD LETTERS AND SHIT!

THE HAMMER IS MY HAMMER. AND POSSIBLY MY PENIS

Ani? My goodness, you've grown.

Ani? My goodness, you’ve grown.

Movie Jane Foster is supposed to be a super nerd.  We don’t get to see any of her science powers until the very end of the movie and it’s a bit disappointing.  I like my leading ladies to do more than just moon over lost love.

In less capable hands, Jane’s dialog probably would have fallen flat.  But Natalie does what she can with the material and comes off very sincere.  She has some real chemistry with Chris Hemsworth and the two of them are enjoyable to watch together as a couple.  I just wish we saw her science more.

Thor has grown since his time with the Avengers.  No longer is he the cocky, arrogant jock.  He’s thoughtful, reflective.  It’s great to see that the events of previous films have made a lasting impact on him.

ONE BROKE GIRL

Now, the intern has become the master.

Now, the intern has become the master.

I thought Kat Dennings was hysterical in the first one and apparently so did Marvel.  Darcy gets a lot more screen time.  She’s kind of a scene stealer.  Whenever she and Jane are on screen, we’re watching Darcy.  She also takes a much more active role in the film than Jane.  Things happen to Jane.  Darcy makes things happen.  It’s an interesting role reversal which makes it hard for me to think of Jane as anything but something for Thor to protect.  Something. Not someone.

THIS IS MY BOY’S GIRL. STAY THE FUCK AWAY

Talk shit, get hit!

Talk shit, get hit!

We hardly got to see any of Frigga in the first one.  This film makes up for that in a pretty surprising way.  Frigga gets to kick quite a lot of ass and almost ends the film early were it not for evil intervention.  She’s super badass and I kind of wish we got to spend more time with her.  Rene Russo has some pretty good sword skills.  Y’all better take notice!

THE DARK ELVES

I'm the Doctor and this is my companion, Rose.

I’m the Doctor and this is my companion, Rose.

The aesthetics of the Dark Elves were amazing!  I loved their uniforms, their masks, their tech.  I really want a Cursed mask. So fucking amazing.  They looked scary as all fuck.  I totally need a Kursed mask.

That said, I felt that their leader, Malaketh played by Christopher Eccleston, was a bit of a punching bag.  He kind of really sucks at fighting which is terrible for a Big Bad.  He looks like he can eat your soul.  He sounds like he can rip the flesh from your bones.  But he’s a total pushover.

His right hand man, Algrim, was so much more intimidating.  I guess that’s part of the point of a second in command.  The setup implied that Malaketh was so much more badass than he turned out to be which totally lowered the stakes when it came time for the final battle.

STACKER PENTEGOD

You brought a ship to a knife fight? LOLZ!

You brought a ship to a knife fight? LOLZ!

Idris Elba is back as Heimdall and is amazing as always.  And this is the part I can’t help but spoil.

HE FUCKING KILLS AN DARK ELF SPACESHIP WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!!! A KNIFE!!!!!

Can he please be in more things?!  I think it would be cool if there was a Heimdall Tales series where he tells us stories of some of the more interesting things he sees.  It would be so fun to hear Idris narrate something like that.  Also, more spaceship stabbing.  Fuck the haters, Idris is perfect as Heimdall!

THE WARRIORS THREE AND LADY SIF

Hey, Warner Bros. I'm pretty much Wonder Woman so get your shit together!

Hey, Warner Bros. I’m pretty much Wonder Woman so get your shit together!

The movie kicks off with some great action from the Warriors Three and Lady Sif.  In general, they get much more to do in this film so it’s a bit disappointing when they all but disappear from the third act.  I kind of want to spend more time with them.  They are so much more interesting than Thor which is pretty bad if it’s your movie.

There are so many adventures I want to go on with them which I think is a triumph of the actors.  I would love to see a television series starring them.  It would be so much more fun than Agents of S.N.O.R.E.  Also, I kinda want to see Jaime Alexander as Wonder Woman.  Sif is pretty much the Marvel version of Wondy.  It just needs to happen.

THE REAL REASON YOU’RE SEEING THIS MOVIE

Kneel!

Kneel!

Let’s face it, there’s only one real reason you’re watching this thing.  Though it’s Natalie, no one really cares about Jane Foster.  Darcy is cute, but not enough to buy a 3D ticket.  Eccleston certainly has his lot of Whovians, but there’s no TARDIS in this theater.  We all bought tickets to see Tom Hiddleston’s smoldery eyes in that green costume.

This is a film for Loki fans.  There is so much Trickster God goodness in this movie I could almost hear tumblr swoon.  Hiddleston really is the breakout star of the Marvel films and he’s absolutely fantastic.  Honestly, I could have done with more him and less everyone else.  I don’t know if Marvel would ever dare to make a Loki film, but I think it would be box office gold.  I’d love to see him in a battle of wits against Hela.  So many good moments from him.  Sure, he didn’t KILL A SPACESHIP WITH A KNIFE, but he has some truly amazing moments.

THE BATTLE OF NEW YORK

The thing I really like about the Marvel universe is that these movies build upon each other.  The Battle of New York is referenced more than once.  If Warner Bros is smart and wants to cash in on DC movies like Marvel, all of their movies from Justice League to Superman 2 will make reference to the Battle of Metropolis.  You turn entire city blocks into dust without the entire world noticing.  They have to acknowledge that in order to build a movie universe.  It helps make all these Marvel movie re-watchable.  You can binge all of them any time a new one comes out.  Warner Bros has to build that kind of world for their comic movies to perform as well as Marvel’s.

Overall, I thought it was a little uneven.  The tone made some wild swings and the final battle just didn’t feel like the stakes were high enough.  Malaketh wasn’t as scary bad as I thought he should have been.  But I definitely enjoyed sitting in the theater and seeing it on a big screen.  Not sure I’d bother with a third Thor in the theater.  I think they’ve worn out their welcome.  But a Loki movie, FUCK YES I’d see that!

I, Frankenstein Looks Sufficiently Ridiculous

So if you’re a pedantic nerd like me, you’ll be shaking your fist at the fact that they call him Frankenstein. Victor Frankenstein created the creature.  The doesn’t have a name, at least not in the novel.

Well, apparently, in this version he does.  The creature, Adam, took his creator’s surname as his own and for 200 years, has walked the earth.  And now he’s got to fight an army of creatures that are like him.  Sounds kinda exactly like Underworld.  But who cares. Aaron Eckhart looks great all scarred up in leather.

I, Frankenstein is based on the Darkstorm Studios graphic novel.  I’ve never heard of either until just now so I have no idea how closely the movie will follow.  But I don’t think we’re looking at real deep character development here.  I think we’re looking at Aaron Eckhart chopping mother fuckers in twain with his ax blades.

Looks like a fun, interesting take on Frankenstein’s monster and probably worth a ticket in a theater.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Here’s how good the team of Chris Claremont, John Byrne and Terry Austin was.  They did the original two-issue “Days of Future Past” arc in Uncanny X-Men #141 and #142 back in 1980.  It was so popular that the X-Men would regularly encounter enemies and allies from that dark future.  It was adapted in the original animated series.  Versions of it have showed up in video games.  Besides “Dark Phoenix,” it is the only other X-Men story that people who aren’t regular comic book readers recognize.  And now, it’s being adapted into film.

We won’t really know how faithful Bryan Singer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past will be until the film comes out.  The way the trailer is cut, it seems like it’s another Wolverine sequel feature Logan and his X-Friends.  The cast is sprawling with pretty much everyone who’s ever starred in an X-Film.  I’m a little worried that it’s going to be kind of a mess.  The trailer is all over the place.

Still, the fact that it’s happening stands as a testament to how freaking awesome those original two issues really were.  This was before the whole decompressed writing for the trade trend, before annual universe crossover events, before foil covers, before renumberings, before #0 issues, before alternate covers.

Our First Look at the Winter Soldier!!!


“I got red, white, and blue on your ledger.”

“That’s not my ledger.”

Awwwww riiiiiiiiight!

So holy hell, Captain America: The Winter Soldier looks like a lot of fun.  The interpretation of Falcon is pretty cool.  I like seeing Natasha back in action.  Steve looks amazing.  And man, Winter Soldier looks fucking fierce.  It looks like it’s going to be S.H.I.E.L.D. vs S.H.I.E.L.D., fear vs freedom, that sort of thing. Can’t wait!!

Oh Fine, Here’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. Episode Review

Melinda May continues to be unimpressed with Agent Boring MC Strong Chin.

Melinda May continues to be unimpressed with Agent Boring MC Strong Chin.

I’m still watching the show because despite how terribly boring it is, the mysteries they’ve set up have me curious.  Each episode has had a little tidbit about Coulson that reinforces the point that he’s not the same person that we saw in the movies.  It’s a little on-the-nose maybe, but it’s at least interesting.  Also, I’m kind of curious as to the timing of the series.  We know it takes place after The Avengers, but I’m also thinking it takes place before Iron Man 3 because Extremis seems to be wildly unstable.  Will we get an Aldrich Killian cameo?

Thus far, S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes have fallen into one of two categories, hunting for an artifact, hunting for a powered human.  Episode 5, “Girl in the Flower Dress,” falls into the powered human one.  There will be spoilers aplenty, but no ones watching the show so who cares!

SCORCH

That’s a dumb fuck of a codename.  Chan Ho Yin is our baddy of the week.  He can fire bend which is pretty neat, but he’s got a major chip on his shoulder.  He’s all pouty face because his S.H.I.E.L.D. handler won’t let him show off his pro bending skills.  So he makes a living as a street magician which goes about as well as you’d expect.  Things turn around for him when a pretty girl in a flower dress, Raina, asks him to show her his fire power.  So of course, she’s evil and kidnaps him.

He wakes up in a secret facility and is like “What the fuck bro.” But Raina appeals to his ego promising him that she’ll help him harness his strength and boost his abilities.  So of course, he’s doomed.  She gives him the dumb fuck codename and his fate is sealed.

Chan turned out to be kind of an asshole.  It’s possible that the strain of Extremis he got amplifies a person’s inner shithead.  All I know is that when he got his booster shot, he became completely unsympathetic.  Skye constantly berated her hacker fuck toy for possibly endangering Chan, but I didn’t really care at that point.  It’s like as soon as Raina gave him the name Scorch, his secondary mutation was asshole.

The part that really surprised me was the torching of the doctor.  I thought that she would be the big bad for this season or at least a major player in the big bad organization’s plans.  Nope.  Chan torched her.  Leaving Raina as our only connection to the big bad organization.  I’m guessing it’s AIM, but that goes with my theory that this show takes places before Iron Man 3.

So yeah, I kinda wanted to like Chan because he seemed like a victim of circumstance.  But he was a little too much of asshole for me to give a shit about him.

Skye

The real reason for this episode was to reveal more about Skye and her motivations for joining the Rising Tide.  The Rising Tide hacked a S.H.I.E.L.D. database and leaked the information online which lead to Chan’s kidnapping.  The hackers responsible for the leak is Miles who’s totes L337 #eyeroll.  The dude who plays Miles comes off more as a burned out hippie than an L337 H@XXORZ but since Skye is this show’s idea of a girl-in-a-van-haxxor, I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Miles is Skye’s fuck buddy who apparently helped her out when she was in a low place.  So they fuck.  And then Melinda May finds them together and Skye’s cover is totally blown.

Except that EVERYONE KNEW SHE WAS LYING!  I guess that also goes along with Coulson being a different person because absolutely no on the show trusted her except for him.

guh.

Whatever.  Turns out that Skye became an L337 H@XXORZ to find out more about her parents.  All she could find was a redacted S.H.I.E.L.D. document.  So she tried to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. to find out more.  And now that she’s on the inside, she decided to fuck everything up by lying to everyone.

This is an interesting feature in a lot of Joss Whedon shows.  The good guys always lie to each other.  They hide things from each other.  The villains usually tell things straight up, although Raina completely lied to Chan so that bit doesn’t hold up.  Good guy lying leads to a lot of conflict and misunderstanding and general awfulness.

If you’re a Skye fan, this episode had a lot of stuff for you.  Oh, you also get to see her in her underwear which honestly, kind of dragged the episode down.

TL;DR

The short version, episode 5 gave us more questions about the “Scorpion” organization and more answers about Skye.  I suspect a lot of this will all come together at the end, but we’re halfway through Season 1 and I feel like it’s still dragging its feet a bit.

First Impressions of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

agentsOfShield

I’ve watched the first two episodes of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. which is hardly enough to get a real sense of the show in its entirety.  Episode 3 aired last night and thanks to ABC streaming, I plan on checking it out sometime later today or this week.  But I have thoughts and a few people have asked, so I’m posting my first impressions.  I’ll do this by character.

Hacker Mc Perfect Hair

I don’t like Skye.  I’m not entirely certain what she brings to the lineup.  Fitz and Simmons are the nerds.  Melinda May is the reluctant muscle.  Coulson is the brains.  I don’t know why Skye is there and for that matter, I don’t know why Agent Ward is there either.  The relationship between the two is being telegraphed so hard that I wonder if Joss isn’t going to pull a fast one on us.  But she seems superfluous and annoying.  I don’t even care that she’s a mole. Like that’s not completely obvious to the rest of the team.

Broody Mc Strong Chin

Speaking of superfluous, Agent Ward is pretty useless.  Melinda May can do anything he can do much, much better.  So why is he here?  I understand that May didn’t want to see combat, but she’s already dusted off her ass kicking boots.  Mr “Total Solution” or whatever he calls himself is just there for Skye to moon at.  And that’s annoying.  The two of them are there to give us some sort of emotional hook, but there’s no chemistry between the actors.  And all of Ward’s one-liners that would kill in the hands of someone like Nathan Fillion just fall dead.

It seems like the show wants so bad for us to really care about these two and I just don’t.

The Cavalry

I’ve got a soft spot for Ming Na Wen so to see her back in action is awesome.  I want to know more about her, why she decided to take a desk job, why she decided to join Coulson’s team.  This isn’t her first time at the rodeo so she had to have known that if she returned to the field, she was going to see combat.

The Nerds

Fitz and Simmons are fantastic!  I love the way they play off of each other.  They get so lost in conversation and bouncing ideas back and forth that they forget anyone else is in the room.  And I love the fact that the show doesn’t stop to make them explain what the hell they are talking about at every second.  These two are great which probably means they’re destined to get horribly fucked at some point.

Son of Coul

This is not the same Phil Coulson that we saw in the movies and I give Clark Gregg for giving the S.H.I.E.L.D. version of his character a little more edge.  S.H.I.E.L.D. is lying to Coulson and that thread of mystery might be enough to hold my interest through a full season.

Getting on the Bus?

I think I’ll be giving it a few more episodes.  Not sure if I’ll be doing episode reviews like I do with Doctor Who, but if things get more interesting, who knows.  May, Fitz, Simmons, and Coulson have my attention and I kind of wish the show was just about those four.  I’m a little disappointed that it’s not more ethnically diverse, but then, looking at the source material, it’s not at all surprising.

So yeah, like I said, two episodes really aren’t enough to judge S.H.I.E.L.D. in its entirety.  I’ll be watching.  But it’s not something I’m raving about just yet.

Warner Bros CEO Hints At Possible Wonder Woman Return to the Screen

wondyNew52

At an entertainment law conference this past Saturday, Warner Bros CEO Kevin Tsujihara straight out said that, “We need to get Wonder Woman on the big screen or TV.”

DUH.

Maybe he caught wind of the overwhelmingly positive response to Rainfalls fan film. I certainly hope so.

Unfortunately, the statement didn’t coincide with an announcement of any kind. But this hopefully means that Warner Bros has something in the works.  Personally, I’d like to see a movie.  DC has always considered Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman to be the three superhero icons of their universe.  It absolutely floors me that they haven’t been able to get a film project off the ground.  Bats had two or three movie franchise reboots, Supes has had three. Wonder Woman can’t get one? Fucking bullshit.  So it’s nice to hear that Tsujihara recognizes the missed opportunity here.

From: The Hollywood Reporter

 

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