Audrey showed this to me last night. No one has ever filmed something like this before. It’s so compelling that National Geographic is actually doing a Mother’s Day special decontructing and analyzing this amazing battle for the “Caught on Safari” series.

The message is clear. Don’t fuck with the buffalo! From now on when ever I get the chance, I’m eating only buffalo burgers and buffalo wings to gain their amazing powers of awesome!

[Via National Geographic]

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To prove that the locals are just as dumb as the tourists, a drunk Australian miner decided to take a swim with a crocodile on a dare. Unfortunately for the croc, a police officer happened by and shot the croc dead just before it took its first bite.

Here’s a hint. No matter what you drunk miner friends tell you, firewater does not imbue you with temporary invulnerability. No. Firewater makes you taste even yummier to a croc. Consider yourself a big, basted, tasty, croc treat.

Thanks to Aegis for keeping an eye on them sneaky crocs.

[Via Northern Territory News]

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Australia’s crocodiles are sick and tired of our shit and are more than willing to represent. Israeli tourist Novon Mashiah witnessed this first hand when a crocodile decided to show him who’s river it was. Mashiah was teasing the croc to come out and play so that his friend, Doron Aviguy, could take a sweet action photo.

Here’s a fucking hint for all you tourists. Don’t fuck with the crocks! Don’t fuck with the sharks, don’t fuck with the tigers (even in the fucking zoo), don’t fuck with the bears (no, they don’t like you and no, you can’t fucking talk to them), just don’t fuck with animals that are made to eat you!

If you don’t fuck with them, they won’t try to eat you or your boat or your girlfriend in your tent. A crocodile is basically an eating machine. If you’re not one of them cute little birds that clean their teeth, stay well the fuck away. A croc doesn’t care if you’re some hot shot personal trainer with big sexy muscles. You look like a big piece of lean kibble to a croc. And if you come near it, it will try to eat your cocky ass!

Okay, the photo is pretty damn sweet. But it’s certainly not worth a hand!

Thanks to Aegis for the story.

[Via Northern Territory News]

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