Crunchy Pants Archive

I like random stuff. So if it doesn’t fit anywhere else, it’ll go here! Usually, it’s stuff that makes my pants all crunchy.


The Entire Thor Movie in Four Minutes

Thursday, July 29th, 2010 at 9:01 am by Jamie

Okay, yes, this shit looks amazing. Yes, I can’t wait for the official HD release of this so-called trailer. Yes, goddammit, Natalie and Kat are absolutely adorable. And yes, it still looks like a fucking disco.

However, as far as trailers go, this is more like the Cliff’s Notes to the entire fucking movie. I mean seriously, what didn’t they spoil? Thor gets outcast. Thor can’t lift Mjolnir from the stone because he’s no longer worthy. Thor figures out what to do with himself on earth. Kat Dennings drools over shirtless Thor. Thor shacks up with Natalie. Odin dies. Loki inherits the throne and sends down the Destroyer to kill Thor. Thor destroys the Destroyer. Thor redeems himself and returns to Asgard to fight Loki for the throne. Thor wins. What the shit, am I missing anything?

Also, just because Inception has that deep, growly horn blow throughout the entire movie doesn’t mean you need to use it here as well!

Mother fucker.

I’m still probably going to see it even though I ALREADY KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN!



Sucker Punch, All Your Bad Girl Fetishes Unleashed

Thursday, July 29th, 2010 at 8:33 am by Jamie

My brother sent me the trailer for Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch which debuted at Comic Con. The movie doesn’t come out until next year sometime, but I guess Comic Con is the perfect place to hype up what looks to be a giant bad girl fetish fest all thrown up on screen. It’s like Snyder stuck a film camera in the forehead of a horny fifteen year old boy and projected the images on to film. Girls with guns, school girls with swords, mechs, dragons, girls in skimpy out fits, girls, girls, and more girls.

The movie takes place in an insane asylum so the batshit insane stuff we’re seeing in this trailer may all be the lunatic fantasies of our heroine who is institutionalized by her fuckhead of a stepfather. I’m a little sad to think that we won’t get to see a world in which giant samurai robots exist for really reals, but the fantasy as reality theme worked really well in Pan’s Labyrinth and it might hold up here. Besides, there are giant samurai robots! Who gives a fuck if it’s real or imaginary. They’re fucking awesome!



Gunpla Anime is… I Don’t Even…

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at 8:41 am by Jamie

If it appears that you are watching a promotional video for a Gunpla anime, well, you ARE watching a promotional video for a Gunpla anime! “Mokei Senshi Gunpla Builders Beginning G” follows the Gundam model building adventures of Haru and will be broadcast in Japan this summer. I’m not such a big fan of the hero Gundam, but that enemy Hi Nu Gundam RX-93 looks pretty friggin’ sweet. There’s also lineart for an Acguy with a teddy bear head which is cute and deadly and therefore completely awesome.

This looks both incredibly stupid and awesomely fun all at the same time. It must be seen!



Bollywood Plus The Guild Equals Game On

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 at 10:40 am by Jamie

Bollywood is awesome. The Guild is awesome. Let their powers combine!

<br/><a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/season-4-music-video-game-on/y0da39gh?fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Season 4 - Music Video - "Game On"">Video: Season 4 &#8211; Music Video &#8211; &#8220;Game On&#8221;</a>

I’m not sure which countries are allowed to see this so I apologize if nothing shows up. Someone needs to explain international digital rights to me in stupid language so I can understand why I can’t share nerdy goodness with the entire goddamn world.

Oh, and I totally forgot we had a Bollywood tag here!

Source: Bing



Why Yes, That is a Movie Accurate Prop Infinite Gauntlet

Monday, July 26th, 2010 at 9:40 am by Jamie

Infinite Gauntlet

There’s going to be a lot of ComicCon stuff to sort through this week. Lots of other sites out there have done a fairly good job of covering the event, although honestly, no report or blog or live streaming feed of ComicCon can ever truly compare to the actual experience of being there. It is wonderful and overwhelming and just as awesome as you think it is. You’ll miss a lot of the cool stuff that will be reported on for weeks after the event, but you won’t care. It’s ComicCon. You belong there.

It’s been years since I’ve gone and I miss it terribly. Sure, it’s becoming more of a movie festival than a comics celebration, but the shit is cool.

Anyway, among the many things Marvel revealed over the entire event, the one that really grabbed my attention was this movie accurate prop of the Infinite Gauntlet. There was no word on what film it would be featured in, but from the aesthetics of the prop, we can make some fairly good educated guesses. The stylings of the Gauntlet match the aesthetics of the magic/tech/armor/disco suits of what we’ve seen from the Thor film. I think we’ll see it introduced in that movie somewhere. If it does show up in the Avengers film, it’ll probably be in the end credits or something. But I think it’s more likely to be found on Asgard. I can totally imagine Loki getting his hands on the Gauntlet and causing all kinds of mess. Or maybe we’ll even see Thanos.

What do you Angry Zen Minions think? Is the Gauntlet headed for a Thor debut? Or does Marvel have a truly epic, cosmic film in the works? Or does it just look like a stupid, shiny disco glove?

Source: Marvel



So Men, Are You Buying More Old Spice?

Friday, July 23rd, 2010 at 9:32 am by Jamie

Monocle Smile TM!

Isaiah Mustafa is the Old Spice Guy. To capitalize on the success of his Old Spice “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” commercial, the ad agency who directed the ad put Isaiah in a shower and video taped his ad lib responses to twitter and facebook messages over two days. Isaiah recorded over 180 responses and they are all solid fucking gold.

While I think the entire campaign will do wonders for Isaiah’s career (oh man, he’d be perfect as Luke Cage), has it motivated more men to use Old Spice? Have you bought Old Spice so that you can smell as manly as Isaiah? I haven’t. And while I will probably go see any movie that stars Isaiah, I can’t say that the campaign has sparked any interest in the brand that spawned it in the first place. Am I alone in this or are more of you impressed with Isaiah than with Old Spice?



Finally! Airbender News That Doesn’t Suck

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 9:12 am by Jamie

Legend of Korra

Fed up with damage that M. Night Shyamalan has done to their show, the creators/producers of “Avatar: The Last Airbender” are planning a new spinoff series that will premier in 2011 tentatively called “The Legend of Korra.” Okay, so there’s nothing in the press that alludes to the fact that the producers hate the live-action version so that’s a little (A LOT) of spin on my part. But it’s no big stretch to imagine them gritting their teeth when they saw the movie.

The series will take place 70 years after the original and follows the adventures of Korra, a Southern Water Tribe teenage girl (most likely pictured) who is the Avatar after Aang. She is taught airbending by Aang’s son, Tenzin. Korra eventually makes her way to Republic City, a steampunk technological wonder inhabited by people from all nations. Anti-bender sentiment is rising and it’s up to Korra to bring peace to a potentially explosive situation.

I get the sense that there will be a heavy technology vs bending theme throughout this new series. There was a thread of that in the original with the Fire Nation’s armada of technological monstrosities, but I think with more steampunk involved, the technology vs bending aspect will be brought to the forefront. I’m actually quite glad that they’ve decided to set it so far in the future away from the cast we’ve grown to know and love. Certainly we’ll feel their influence with Tenzin reminding us that Aang and Katara had hot, steamy, sexy time to bend out a baby. But it’ll give the show a chance to find its own footing.

I can wait for 2011. Hopefully we won’t have any more live-action crap to deal with in the mean time.

Source: Angry Asian Man and Yahoo News



Learn Your Way Around the MG Guncannon With HobbyLink TV

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010 at 11:22 am by Jamie

Gunpla TV

HobbyLink Japan’s master builder, Syd, has been posting video walkthroughs/tutorials on how to build Gunpla models over at HobbyLink.tv. The episodes are great for those who are interested in getting into building scale Gundam model kits. Thus far, Syd’s been focusing on an HGUC ZZ Gundam. Now he’s moving on to a Master Grade Guncannon. But first, he goes through all the runners to explain each part and what their for in Episode 5. It’s an awesome introduction to the Master Grade series and seriously makes me want to grab a kit and start building. Check it out!

Source: HobbyLink.tv



In Which We Will Have a Spoilerific Discussion of Inception

Monday, July 19th, 2010 at 9:10 am by Jamie

Inception

Inception is pretty damn amazing. Go see it on the big screen because your computer screen will just not do it any justice.

The movie kind of traps you in its layers so that your left pondering what you saw hours after you leave the theater. It kind of winds its way into your conscious and won’t let go. Which is why today, we will be having a spoilerific discussion of the film. I will hide all the spoilery stuff behind a cut so no worries for those who haven’t seen it. Once you have, come back and check out what we’re all geeking over.

For the non-spoilery review, I’ll say that plot-wise it’s really better if you just ignore all the reviews and see it for yourself. This is one of those movies that’s better experienced first hand than read about. The practical special effects are amazing. I hope more filmmakers take note and move away from CG as a fix-all. Inception proves that you don’t need fancy effects to tell a compelling sci-fi/heist film.

Character-wise, Leo is really the only person in the film who gets any depth. We see so many different sides of him. The rest of the cast is along for the ride with Ellen Page serving as the voice of reason/voice of the audience. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that I didn’t feel as connected to any of the other characters as I did with Leo. We’re not really given that chance. It’s clear it’s his film. Having said that, there are some great performances. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Leo’s right hand man is fucking fantastic. Ellen Page is the best I’ve ever seen her. Ken Watanabe is awesome. I kept silently cheering “WATANABE” any time he was on screen. Marion Cotillard is not as strong as she normally is which kind of makes sense given her role in the film. But I do wish she had more to work with.

Overall, the film was totally enjoyable. I got completely lost in all the intricacies and layers. Believe the hype. Go see it.

And now, we spoil ourselves!
(more…)



If God of War Was an Indy Film…

Friday, July 16th, 2010 at 3:01 pm by Jamie

…it would look like this:

Friggin’ brilliant.