The Knight Rider Drinking Game!

Drunk Hoff

AZM Ally Mike Dent is sacrificing his sanity for you! The poor bastard has committed to watch five episodes of the new Knight Rider series so that you don’t have to. Feel his pain! So to help him survive the three remaining episodes he has before he can pull himself away, Mike Dent has created the Knight Rider Drinking Game! Mike makes no mention of the type of alcohol you should use while playing the game, but I suggest something very strong that will knock you out so you don’t have to suffer through an entire episode.

We here at AZM salute you, Mike!

[Via Justice Ace]

slotMusic, Latest Salvo in the Loudness Wars


Angry Zen Minion Samurai Penguin pointed me to this article introducing slotMusic. MicroSD manufacturer SanDisk is looking to set a new standard in physical music format by selling entire records on microSD cards. SlotMusic cards would cost the same as a CD and come preloaded with DRM free mp3 tracks from artists signed with EMI Music, Sony BMG, Universal Music Group, and Warner Music Group. The format makes it perfect for playing music in cell phones and a small USB adapter makes it easy to play music on your computer. Wal-Mart and Best Buy have agreed to start selling slotMusic later this year.

On paper, this sounds pretty cool. MicroSD cards are a fraction of the size of CDs making them easy to transport and store. Since the tracks are DRM free you can transfer them to any computer you like then erase the disk and use it to store your Nintendo DS homebrew or porn. And hey, four major labels are throwing their support behind the technology so it must be good, right?

Unfortunately, slotMusic continues the trend of dumbing down our music. We’ve heard how Metallica’s Death Magnetic CD is the latest casualty of the Loudness Wars. Imagine if all our music sounded like that. Mp3s are certainly good for file size, but the compression destroys the dynamic range of the original recordings.

I’m sure there are many out there who can’t hear the difference. And truth be told, I don’t always care. But I’d rather have the choice to listen to richer music than be forced to listen to this thinner, louder crap. There are plenty of lossless audio formats to choose from. Certainly there’s more than enough room on a microSD card to store them. SlotMusic does music a great disservice by only offering mp3s. Yes, DRM free is fucking brilliant. But sacrificing dynamic range, punch, and clarity is audio sacrilege.

I’m almost certain the new format will eventually bury CDs. I wouldn’t be surprised to see movies eventually delivered this way as well. My hope is that as its popularity grows and more audio nerds complain, slotMusic will eventually include lossless formats. SlotMusic can either save or destroy the sound quality of our music. I doubt they realize they hold that power.

[Via Unplgged and slotMusic]

Not Even Shirtless Driving Can Save New Knight Rider From Shark Tank


When AZM Ally Mike Dent messaged me to tell me “Word of warning: New Knight Rider sucks ass,” I responded “Well DUUUUUUUUUH!” Without even seeing an episode, I could smell the stench of fail from just the commercial. Sadly, Mike Dent was not so wise. The poor bastard sat through an entire episode on purpose because, well, Knight Rider sounds fucking cool! Oh paper, yes, it probably sounded like a good idea. But if Knight Rider 2000, Knight Rider 2010, and Team Knight Rider all sucked fat donkey scrote, why would a 2008 update be any different? Mike has written up a scathing review over at Justice Ace. He sacrificed his brain meats so that the rest of us would not have to suffer through the same horror.

Thank you Mike Dent. You are indeed a brave man.

[Via Justice Ace]

Me Love Ping Pong Long Time!

This trailer for Ping Pong Playa had me rolling! This is exactly the type of movie that I never knew I was waiting for. It’s been a while since I’ve seen an American produced movie with a predominantly Asian cast where no one does any kung fu fighting. About fucking time! Although, ping pong is also kind of stereotypically a Chinese sport, but I’ll take it. This looks like a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it’s so indy that it’s not playing at a theater near me. Poop! I think they’re running premiers in California so you west coast Angry Zen Masters will have to check it out and report back. I really want to see this on the big screen, but if I have to wait, I’ll freaking buy the DVD as soon as it drops!

[Via Ping Pong Playa]

Sulu Ties the Knot!


AZM Ally Greg sends word that George Takei and Brad Altman tied the knot at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles, California! Takei’s former Star Trek costars Walter Koenig and Nichelle Nichols were best man and matron of honor. The couple have been together for 21 years and now, thanks to California’s repeal of the same-sex marriage ban, are legally married.

Congratulations to George and Brad! It’s about damn time!

[Via BBC]

In 2050, America Redefines the Term “Minority”

Fist in the Air

Angry Zen Minion Paul Jang writes in with a Census Bureau report that indicates by 2050, minorities will be the majority in America. Minorities are classified as non-Hispanic, single-race white people. Hopefully by then, it won’t really matter.

The starry eyed liberal idealist in me believes that people should be judged on the strength of their character and not external factors like the color of their skin, the cut of their clothes, height, weight, eye slant, whatever. I try not to bang the racial indignation hammer too hard here at AZM because I want to believe that it doesn’t matter. The sad fact is that in today’s America, Audrey and I will have to explain to our future children why some people in this country don’t want to play with them just because they look different. We’ll have to spend time bracing them against the racial slurs they may encounter. Hopefully, our grand kids will be free from such nonsense. But for now, it saddens me to resign myself to the knowledge that even in the new damn millennium, we just ain’t there yet.

Out of all my friends, I’m one of the first to notice little racial inconsistencies like casting Zhang Ziyi as a Japanese geisha or cliches like the black guy always dying first. I like to think that by pointing such things out, I’m helping to broaden awareness of potentially offensive trends. But sometimes I wonder if it does more annoyance than good. I could spend a good few posts tearing this summer’s movie slate a new asshole for its lack of diversity. But really, who cares? Did the lack of people who look like me on the big screen take away from my enjoyment of the blockbusters that destroyed box office records? Not really. My disappointment was rather mild compared to the awesome multiple geeky joygasm Iron Man, Kung Fu Panda, Wall-E, Hell Boy 2 and Dark Knight gave me.

To expect America to change to suit my world view is stupid. My views are just as insane as the next person’s and really, neither of us are completely right. However, I can choose how I perceive my country. If Obama loses the Presidency, it’s not because America’s racist or ignorant or afraid or whatever else the pundits and news organizations will say. He will have lost because more people want the other guy. For whatever reason, more people will have voted for the other guy. That’s all you get. To try to interpret why is an exercise in futility. How can anyone possibly know, I mean really know, why other choose one way or another. For the record, we here at AZM are totally in the Obama camp.

America is what you make of it. If you expect the best, you will find the best. If you expect the worst, you will find the worst. You will find every little inconsistency, every little cliche, every little offense filling your days with an endless stream of soul crushing complaints. Makes for great blogging, but it’s not very constructive.

In 2050, race may indeed no longer matter. But I’m not waiting. People should be judged by their character and not their skin color and that’s how I choose to live.

[Via CNN]

Pale of Persia

Pale of Persia
Image via Just Jared

There is no denying that Jake Gyllenhaal is a dishy piece of man meat in his Prince of Persia costume. Clearly he’s been bulking up to play Dastan. While we certainly appreciate his dedication to the physicality of the role, he just doesn’t fit. Prince Valiant hair and manly stubble do not a Persian make. I guess it’s slightly racist of me to decry Gyllenhaal’s casting simply because he’s not Persian, but dammit, this just doesn’t fit. I’m sure there will be lots of Persians as extras or support characters. Why not just grab an unknown? Ah well.

So is it just me or do you think he’ll be perfectly good as Dastan?

[Via Just Jared]

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