Remember that sweet Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince trailer? Here it is again, just in case.

Fucking on, right!

Well, I’m sad to report that that’s all you get until next fucking summer! Instead of dropping this November, Warner Brothers has decided to push back the release of next Harry Potter flick to next July. Why? And I quote WB president Alan Horn:

Our reasons for shifting “Half-Blood Prince” to summer are twofold: we know the summer season is an ideal window for a family tent pole release, as proven by the success of our last Harry Potter film, which is the second-highest grossing film in the franchise, behind only the first installment. Additionally, like every other studio, we are still feeling the repercussions of the writers’ strike, which impacted the readiness of scripts for other films–changing the competitive landscape for 2009 and offering new windows of opportunity that we wanted to take advantage of. We agreed the best strategy was to move ‘Half-Blood Prince’ to July, where it perfectly fills the gap for a major tent pole release for mid-summer.

What? Hello! You’re sitting on only the most popular fantasy series ever! Of course it’s going to be a fucking hit you fucking dolt! It’s HARRY THE FUCK POTTER! Dumb fucking fuck all!

Sounds like they have no confidence in next summer’s slate. There’s no way they can possibly duplicate the financial success of Dark Knight save a Harry Potter flick. Harry Potter won’t do as well as Dark Knight, but it will bring in a fuck ton of money. And if summer 2009 is looking thin because of the strike, I guess it makes sense to stick a guaranteed money cow right in the middle.

Well fuck. I guess all there is to look forward to to finish out this year is Saw V.

[Via Aint it Cool News]

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Angry Zen Minion Kevin Bahrt sent along this piece about Apple yanking Apps off their App Store without explanation. Three apps in particular found themselves pulled from the store within days of their release.

• BoxOffice - This free app lists movie times, locations, and reviews. DO! WANT!
• Nullriver - With this app, users can turn their phone into a wireless routers using AT&T’s G3 or Edge networks depending on availability.
• I Am Rich - For only $999.99, this app displays a little red gem on your iPhone or iTouch dsahboard.

Now before I start railing against my former master, Apple has never said that the iPhone would be an open development platform. It’s their technology, it’s their store, they can choose to sell whatever they want.

Having said that, pulling apps just without explanation is bad business. I could understand if the apps in question were malicious and bricked your phone or stole your data. But if they’re not malicious, why shut out developers? As a movie geek, BoxOffice would be a perfect app for my phone. Nullriver is just full of awesome. And if you’re dumb enough to purchase I Am Rich, all the more power to you. It hurts Apple in no way to allow these apps to be sold. Now that they’re no longer available, the only option you have to get these apps is you unlock your phone and seek out the developers.

The app store is a closed systems and by shutting out developers for no apparent reason, Apple is depriving users of some potentially awesome apps.

However, having now said all of that, the list of apps that have been pulled pales in comparison to the apps available for purchase and download. And if you did manage to snag one or all three of the apps discussed, they still work. The culling could be an attempt to come up with some sort of official release policy. Who knows. Until Apple makes a statement, all we can really do is complain and speculate.

So are practices like this enough to make you resist the sexy temptation of fondling an iPhone G3 of your own? Or will you give in to temptation and purchase one knowing that some developers will be left out of the party?

[Via Fortune]

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I read this quote from Robert Downey, Jr.:

My whole thing is that that I saw The Dark Knight. I feel like I’m dumb because I feel like I don’t get how many things that are so smart. It’s like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I’m like, “That’s not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.” I loved The Prestige but didn’t understand The Dark Knight. Didn’t get it, still can’t tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I’m like, “I get it. This is so high brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.” You know what? Fuck DC comics. That’s all I have to say and that’s where I’m really coming from.

And this song just jumped into my brain meats:

That’s right! I just compared Robert Downey, Jr. to the world’s most dangerous group! When N.W.A. released “Fuck Tha Police” they made permanent enemies of police departments around the country. Similarly, Downey, Jr.’s “Fuck DC Comics” statement may have earned him the enmity of most comic book geeks.

You know what, though, I ain’t mad at Downey, Jr. Although I think he’s screwed himself out of working with Warner Brothers on pretty much anything, I totally respect him for speaking his mind. And honestly, lately, DC Comics just haven’t been holding up. How many Crisis events can one universe go through? Ugh. My love for Dark Knight is well documented, but I can see where he’s coming from. I don’t agree. But I can see it.

“Fuck Tha Police” helped propel N.W.A.’s Straight Out of Compton record to double platinum. I think when the dust settles, Downey, Jr. will continue to make millions as Tony Stark and eventually other comic based characters. Just nothing from DC.

[Via Moviehole, thanks to Occasional Superheroine and Blast-O-Rama]

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Not sure how long this vid will last, but AZM Ally Marty dug up a short clip of the Spirit and the Octopus fighting in a shallow bog of shit.

Wow.

So that’s pretty much the shittiest spy footage I’ve ever seen. Before I was mildly curious. Now I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to see Frank Miller’s The Spirit. Shit does not equal edgy or modern. Shit equals shit.

Shit.

[Via Blast-O-Rama]

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Image via Just Jared

There is no denying that Jake Gyllenhaal is a dishy piece of man meat in his Prince of Persia costume. Clearly he’s been bulking up to play Dastan. While we certainly appreciate his dedication to the physicality of the role, he just doesn’t fit. Prince Valiant hair and manly stubble do not a Persian make. I guess it’s slightly racist of me to decry Gyllenhaal’s casting simply because he’s not Persian, but dammit, this just doesn’t fit. I’m sure there will be lots of Persians as extras or support characters. Why not just grab an unknown? Ah well.

So is it just me or do you think he’ll be perfectly good as Dastan?

[Via Just Jared]

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Whoever released these up-shorts photos of Alison Carroll as the new Lara Crotch should be fired. Blech. How unflattering.

So what does Alison do now that she’s Lara Croft? They don’t really use the real life models for game design. She doesn’t get to star in a movie. Does she just get paid to go to trade shows?

Anyway, the photo below is much better. But since we have the first one up, let’s play the caption game! It’s Womb Raider, the crotch edition!

[Via The Girls Entertainment Network photos via Gossip Girls]

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No.

He can’t.

Blame Angry Zen Minion Kevin Bahrt for digging this one up.

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Picture via /Film

Thanks to AZM Ally Mike Dent for the news that there is, in fact, a Goonies 2 in the works starring the original cast.

I imagine the meeting went something like this.

Bob, a downtrodden junior studio executive, walks into Dick’s office, his demanding boss. Dick has been hounding Bob for new movie ideas to fill up the 2009 slate and Bob is at his wits end.

Dick, “So, Bob. What have you got for me?”

Bob, “Well… to tell you the truth–”

“Look, you sad sack of day old whale sperm! I’m not interested in excuses! I want results! Now I’ve asked you pitch some ideas to finish out our 2009 slate and all I’ve heard is excuses! I want a pitch and I want it fucking now or you’re fucking out of here!”

In a panic, Bob searches the dark places of his brain for any remotely filmable idea. The Small Wonder adaptation that his friends always joked about, the Showgirls prequel that he thinks of when he gets lazy thinking of things to masturbate to, the Uwe Boll Story that his nephew pitched to him in a haze of pot smoke. Suddenly, an image from the Corey Feldman softcore porn he watched in a drunken haze last night flashes in his mind and without thinking, he blurts out, “GOONIES 2!”

Bob’s eyes flash.

“Goonies? 2?”

“Well… um… it’s just a… ah… concept. I mean, we could–”

“Goonies fucking 2?”

Dick menacing face inches closer to Bob. Suddenly, Dick throws a triumphant fist in the air.

“Goonies fuck 2! That’s fucking brilliant! You’re fucking brilliant! That’s what I’m talking about, Bob! That’s what I want! Real innovation. Fucking genius!”

“I, um… huh? Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious! We’ll get right on it!”

“Uh, okay. I think.”

And with that, Bob leaves Dick’s office resigned to the fact that his weakness will result in the butchering of one of his favorite childhood movies. Bob trudges off head hung low to the local bar for what promises to be a night of drowning his sorrows in debaucherous stupor.

[Via Heckler Spray]

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Angry Zen Minion Devin Wolfe writes in with word that action phenom Tony Jaa walked off the set of Ong-bak 2 to meditate in the jungle.

So get this, Jaa’s lawyer sent a list of demands to Sahomongkolfilm International that included a Baht 50 million ($1.5 million USD) flat fee and canceling the ten year exclusive contract between Jaa and Sahamongkol. Sounds like someone is thinking about going to Hollywood. Sahamongkol head Somsak Techaratanaprasert refused to negotiate until completion of Ong Bak 2. So Jaa walked and headed deep into the jungle to meditate and contemplate fat stacks of cash.

Techaratanaprasert finally agreed to meet with Jaa. The two worked out some kind of arrangement and Jaa returned to set to finish the film under the supervision of Prachya Pinkaew who produced and directed the first Ong-bak and Panna Rittkrai who served as action choreographer on the first film.

I think Jaa has gotten wind that he’s got a decent fan base over here and is probably interested in reaching a wider audience. He’s certainly got the diva act right.

[Via Variety]

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Angry Zen Minion Kevin Bahrt sent along his flash animation that puts voices to a Yahoo! Answers post. Witness the atrocities inflicted upon our written language.

They need to do way instain mother!

[Via Something Awful]

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