Could there be a practical reason for a Time Lord to carry a pocket full of tasty Jelly Babies while fighting Daleks and Cybermen? Let’s find out!

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This time I get down and dirty with my very first pomelo! I think I got a not so ripe one. Is there an easy way to tell when they’re ripe? Do they get deeper green or something?

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I never knew that Jelly Babies were really real until tonight. Tasty treats and they also gave me an opportunity to mess around a bit with Brightcove.

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According to the sign at Whole Foods, this large green mellon I hold in my hands is called a pomelo. Apparently, it’s some kind of grapefruit. Didn’t actually purchase the beasty because $3.99 is a bit much for a piece of fruit, but seriously, this is the largest surgically unaltered mellon ever I seen! Has anyone ever eaten one of these things?

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Ever wonder what the food of a chef who’s beaten an Iron Chef tastes like? Well, if you live in the Washington, DC Metro area, wonder no longer! Just directa your feetsa to Jaleo (and you thought I was going to say Daddy Green’s Pizza). In April of 2007, head chef José Andrés beat Bobby Flay in Battle Goat.

Jaleo is a Spanish tapas restaurant and if you do plan to go, bring a large group of friends. Tapas is a meal made up of appetizer portion dishes and if you’re like me, you can go through quite a lot of them. Problem is, because tapas is trendy right now, it’s a little on the pricey side. So if it’s just you and a date and you order enough to fill your tummy, you’re going to be shelling out a pretty penny. However, if you bring a big group and order a whole mess of yummy tapas, the bill can be spread out among more people. Plus, this stuff is so good, you just have to share.

Like any good proper porn site, I’m just going to let the pictures speak for themselves. These are some of the dishes we had at the Crystal City location. Enjoy!

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If you get off at the Chinatown Metro stop, walk down H Street, and turn right at 6th Street, you will be greeted by this seemingly ill tempered man.

Fear not! What may appear to be a wind up for a most unpleasant giant noodle attack is nothing more than stretching dough.

This is the noodle man at Chinatown Express in Washington D.C.’s Chinatown and dammit, he makes the best noodles on this coast! You may be surprised to know that it is difficult to find “good” Chinese food in D.C. with the city having its own Chinatown. It’s sad, but it’s true. Much of the so-called “authentic” Chinese cuisine is tailored to tastes that are unfamiliar with authentic authentic Chinese food. Many of the sauces are too sweet. Dishes are over cooked. Flavors mash together into a big oozing pile of blech.

Not so at the Chinatown Express. This is the closest thing you will come to having good home-style cooked Chinese food in this area.

The sauce to the right is slivers of garlic bathed in a healthy jar of oil. It’s quite yummy. But it’s nothing compared to the sauce on the left. I have yet to discover just what it’s made out of (I asked our waitress and she said “ginger sauce” and disappeared. Cursed secret recipe!), but I suspect it’s made from crack cocaine or other similarly addictive additive. It has a sort of oily garlic flavor to it, but with a light tang to the finish. I tastes like happy. Seriously! It’s that goddamn good.

It’s excellent with the pork and leek dumplings which I didn’t manage to take a picture of before we inhaled the entire plate last Friday on our visit. You must order them when you come here and you must eat them with the green crack sauce.

Audrey ordered the fried noodles with veggies. Very yummy. The sauce isn’t too heavy and doesn’t over power the flavors of the ingredients so you can taste each veggie as it plays with the noodles. The noodles are quite simply the best. EVAR! They too must be made from crack cocaine infused flower because once you eat one, you can’t stop until they’re all nestled safely in your tummy.

My fried noodles had dead cow in them. See them trying to hide from me!

They say that you will be hungry in less than an hour after you eat Chinese food. They have not eaten at a proper Chinese food restaurant. The portions at Chinatown Express are quite generous and will keep you satisfied well into the next day. They are open 10am-11pm every day except Sunday. I’ve been there for lunch and dinner on various days and it’s always packed. You can also order take out although why you’d want to torture your fellow Metro riders with the deliciously addictive smells is beyond me you sadistic food tease you.

If you’re visiting or live in the D.C. Metro area, get your happy ass down to Chinatown Express as soon as you can! Your stomach will love you long time!

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Pictured above is a dish called As-You-Wish Garden. It’s made with crispy rice noodles, soy protein, and lots of yummy veggies smothered in a spicy sauce. You can get it at Sunflower restaurant in Falls Church, VA and it’s damn tasty.

The camera phone doesn’t quite capture just how tasty our food was this past Friday night at Sunflower, but believe me, vegetarian this tasty will convert even the most ardent carnivore.

I wasn’t able to snap a pick quickly enough of the General Tsao’s Chicken before half of it was eaten, but it was damn tasty. I know some of you vegetarians out there say that veggie chicken tastes just like chicken, but that’s because you have forgotten what chicken tastes like. I was vegetarian for a year and subjected my palette to all sorts of veggie meats and I’m telling you, you can fool yourself all you want, but that stuff does not taste like meat.

That doesn’t mean it tastes bad. The General Tsao’s Chicken was quite tasty. It had a crispy sweet outer shell and a tender fake chickeny center. Quite yummy and filling. Our friend was full when I snapped this shot.

Rounding out our trio is Audrey’s dish, something with soba. We forgot the name, but the taste will linger. Soba perfectly cooked dancing with steamed veggies in a light sauce that echoed slightly of soy sauce and ginger. Simply mouth watering.

If you believe that a vegetarian diet will help you loose weight, Sunflower sets out to prove you wrong. The portions are quite generous and though everything is vegetarian, if you are able to finish your entire meal, your stomach will feel as full as if you had tackled a 12 ounce porter house.

They have two locations, the newest one in Falls Church, and a smaller one in Vienna. I’ve been to both places and have enjoyed both immensely. The wait staff is nice and friendly and eager to stuff you full of healthy and tasty treats. Sorry Henry, they stay open until 10pm. But if you’re ever wondering around Northern VA and are looking for some yummy veggie fair, Sunflower is the place!

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This isn’t a CG shot or photorealistic Photoshop painting. This is a real life super mushroom found somewhere in the wild.

According to my resident fungi expert (Audrey is a ninja biologist), this mushroom is actually called Amanita muscaria, or Fly Agaric, and is quite poisonous. In fact, the Amanita family is responsible for 90% of all mushroom-induced fatalities. The red-capped variety, shown above, is indeed poisonous, but not fatal.

There was a joke in here somewhere, but I’m more amazed that my wife actually knew what the mushroom was called when I showed her the photo.

Thanks to reader James for sending the link my way.

[Via Tokyo Mango]

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If Scarlett Johansson showed up buck nekkid on my front door with video tape and written proof that Audrey has agreed to allow Scarlett and I to perform carnal acts with each other that have yet to be discovered by even the most depraved human with no regrets or repercussions and I had to choose between Scarlett and the finest piece of Kobe beef ever cooked by human hands, Scarlett would be walking home with her nipples all pointy in the cold.

Indeed, that’s how much I lurvs teh foods. So when Audrey’s sister invited us to stay with her and her boyfriend in Chicago for the weekend to taste the local cuisine, we jumped at the chance! Unfortunately, we were so eager to dine that we neglected to take photos of all but one of our wonderful meals. Enter Hot Doug’s!

Hot Doug’s, open Monday through Saturday from 10:30am to 4:00pm, calls itself “The Sausage Superstore and Encased Meat Emporium.” We got there a little after it opened and already the line was a block long. Truly, I have never before dined at a finer hot dog/sausage place in my life! Behold our lunch on Saturday!

At the top is the Toulous, a sausage covered with brie cheese and aioli, to the right is the Thuringer Chicago style, bellow is the Bratwurst covered in onions and mustard, and to the left are fries fried in duck fat. Wow! We got them char-broiled and the flavors just jumped to life.

So, what is this Chicago style hot dog jutsu?

That’s deli mustard, caramelized onions, sliced tomatoes, a dill pickle spear, and neon green relish. I must admit that I was slightly frightened. It seemed like piling all that stuff on a dog would be a little much. Not the case at all. Surprisingly, all the flavors of the condiments match perfectly with the smokey, char-grilled sausage. Oh, if we only had such delights here in D.C.

The best part is that such a feast will not break the bank. A quick gander at the menu reveals quite affordable prices. A dog in D.C. costs almost as much and will never measure up to a Hot Doug’s creation. If you ever make it out to Chicago, get your ass down there. Don’t let that long line discourage you. It moves fast and it’s worth the wait.

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