Happy Fun Bags

Olympic Boobs

The Olympics are over and this video is a little old, but I thought I’d share:

You may remember Jenna Marbles from her video on how to trick people into thinking you’re hot. And talking to her dog.

Because I’m a big fucking nerd, as I watched Jenna’s take down of “Ponytail” I couldn’t help but relate her comments to super hero bewbs. For the past few weeks, we’ve seen amazing physical feats of athleticism from people of all shapes and sizes. The body types of athletes are as varied as the countries represented in the games. Yet when we turn to our super hero comics, we see one or two body types. I hope that maybe the games could serve as a reminder to artists that physical athleticism comes from a variety of body types. The Flash should never be as muscularly drawn as Superman.

Back to super hero bewbs. It’s perfectly fine for a super hero to have double Ds, but when fighting crime, they should probably be reined in. Sports bras somehow don’t exist in the super hero world which must be terribly annoying for the ladies. Breasts swing around when you’re in motion. When you’re fighting, they can throw off your timing. Why the hell would you let them flap around in the wind like that? Super hero sports bras should be standard issue to every super hero lady out on patrol. You can still draw them with large breasts when they’re not kicking ass. A lot of comics these days feature pages and pages and pages and pages of just talking. They don’t need to be in their fighting uniforms for the exposition. But when it’s time to suit up, get those breasts in check. You’d think with all the emphasis on realism and grittiness these days, the sports bra would fit in there somewhere.

What’s New Pussycat, Whoa Whoa WTF?!

Ever the masters of self-sabotage, DC Comics recently revealed the cover for Catwoman #0:

When I saw this thing, a horrible song instantly popped into my head:

And now it will be in your head forever!

The only thing I can figure is that the New 52 version of Selina Kyle has some kind of stripper scoliosis that allows her to contort into positions that would impossible for a normally-spined woman. Undoubtedly, this is physical trait is helpful during those moments when you need to steal things from a strip club.

Besides the questionable anatomy, what really irritates me about this cover is that from a strict technical stand point, it’s well executed. The lines are clean, the skin tones are warm, the coloring on the catsuit makes it look like patent leather. It’s clear that Guillem March possesses the ability to turn in some decent work. I mean, fuck, look at Huntress in this cover done by March earlier this year:

Sexy. Powerful. Spine.

Despite their insistence otherwise, the company that greenlit the Catwoman cover for publication cares little for their female readership. How can anyone possibly take superhero comics seriously when things like this get published ALWAYS? You don’t have to break a woman’s spine to draw her in a sexy pose. Sexy pose without spine removal drawings happen all the time. Just look at the work of Adam Hughes. He’s known for his good girl work. Click through his gallery and you’ll see lots of sexy poses that can actually happen with a real human body.

The internet is mercilessly mocking the cover as it should. Comics Alliance has collected some of the most entertaining riffs on the bloody thing. I hope DC’s editors will get the hint and approach their cover illustrations more thoughtfully. Honestly DC, covers like this make it seem like you’ve run out of fucks to give.

Kat Sheridan Chops Heads as Sexy Axe Cop

A few years ago, I got the opportunity to color the most MANLY ILLUSTRATION EVER! I dare say my computer became a bajillion times more awesome because it had high resolution Axe Cop art all over it.

Somehow, my posts caught the attention of actor Kat Sheridan, pictured above as Sexy Axe Cop. She sent this along:

I asked Kat a few questions about her work and her upcoming series “Just Cos.”

YP: How long have you been cosplaying?

KAT SHERIDAN: I have always enjoyed dressing up in costume, whether it was for Halloween, or a theater production, and then as I got older for commercial and film projects. Just recently, though, I’ve delved more into the world of Geekdom and started cosplaying for fun at comic conventions and events.

YP: What brought you to the art of cosplay?

KS: I have always loved geek-tastic things, even as a child. Lately, I have been reading more graphic novels and finding this sub-culture of people who love fantasy and sci-fi like I do. On professional Hollywood sets, there’s always a crew member or somebody who loves comics, and its becoming less and less taboo, actually its becoming en vogue to be down with superheroes, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. It also helps that my boyfriend works at a comic book store and does marketing for comic conventions, so I’m meeting fascinating industry types, artists, creators, retailers, fans, and cosplayers through that avenue.

YP: Who are your favorite characters to play?

KS: Red Sonja, Sexy Vader, Sexy Axe Cop, Poison Ivy, and other red-head characters are great for me to portray!

YP: Have you created any original characters?

KS: I like to put the a sexy spin on existing male characters, but as far as an ORIGINAL, I have a really cool Star Wars character that I’m co-creating the look for with some talented web series writers and makeup artists. She’s a badass Sith named Sila Varis.

YP: Can you tell us more about JUST COS? How did you become part of the film? When can we expect to see it?

KS: With Just Cos, I’m co-producing the film, and the part was written with me in mind for the lead. It showcases geek culture and fangirls & fanboys getting ready for comic conventions. We are doing a “pilot” and most likely will turn it into a web series, and we’ll ask a lot of fans and cosplayers to make appearances in it! You can expect to see it within the next couple months!

YP: Anything else you’d like to promote?

KS: I am in a feature horror film called THE RED HOUSE coming out this year. Its a classic genre flick with attractive college kids going in the woods and bloody mayhem ensues, with a bit of a twist. Here is an article on it.

KS: I am also working on an original Star Wars web series called “Die Jedi”, where I play a troubled Sith hunting down Jedis or those strong with the force. Should have some epic light saber duels. And here is some more info on that: http://diejedi.tumblr.com/

YP: Shoutouts?

KS: On JUST COS the writer is Derek Easley, my co-star is funny comedian Jole Sanchez, and its directed by Julian Doan.

The RED HOUSE is written and directed by Gregory Avellone, and produced by John Ortin of Friday the 13th fame.

And DIE JEDI is being produced by the very talented Jimmy Lucia, and my makeup for JUST COS and DIE JEDI is being done by the wonderful Andrew Brown.

Thanks, Kat! And good luck with “Just Cos.” Can’t wait to see it!

Oh Nothing, Just Olivia Wilde Jiggling Her Boobs

There may have been other people in this video, buuuuuuut… what was I saying?

Super Hero Boobs

A little rambly, but here are some thoughts on the practicality of super hero boobs.

Here’s a link to our art show, http://deathstarartshow.tumblr.com/

Conan The Barbarian, Head Will Roll in Your Fucking Popcorn

NSFW do to bare breasts, blood, and extensive use of the word “fuck.” Click when your boss is not in the room.

I know I’ve railed against remakes, reimagining, and sequels forever and a fucking day, but I’ve kinda wanted to see this new Conan ever since the first teasers came out. With this new trailer, I’m pretty well sold. Of course, it looks like they show you the whole fucking thing, but whatever. I don’t really ask much in terms of plot from my Conan movies! If there be swords and body parts flying, I’m in.

Girls Watch Porn, Too!

A girl version of Bang Bus would be kinda awesome!

It’d be interesting to see some numbers on this stuff. What types of pornography are women buying? How often do they watch it in comparison with their male counterparts? Do they give a crap about the “plot” or do they just want to see the business? What kinds of dudes do they want to see? For that matter, what kinds of ladies do they want to see? Many questions I have because I feel that although the male audience certainly sustains the industry, there’s certainly a market out there for porn that caters to women that could be fairly significant. The ladies, they like to buy things. Sometimes they like to buy sexy things. If there were more sexy options for them, they might buy more of them.

Really, I just want to see a ladies version of Bang Bus. Cause that would indeed be more realistic.

Source: Girls With Slingshots

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