Sometimes, you just want to see a dumb-shit movie with big ’splosions.
AZM ally Mike Dent just sent me this double trailer for Hard Revenge Milly and The Masked Girl, both hit theaters August 9 in Japan.
Wow! Milly looks fucking insane! Masked Girl feels like a campy, after-school tokusatsu flick with school girls. Doubt that either will get released here, but they look pretty fun. I wonder if it’s a double feature.
Way back in the day, long before the era of foofy foofy, Bridget Nielsen starred in one of the worst cult classic fantasy films of all time, Red Sonja. Not even Arnold Schwarzenegger, who a year earlier destroyed the box office as The Terminator, could save this abortive attempt to breath life into a dying genre. It’s amusing, kinda. Ernie Reyes, Jr. plays an annoying spoiled prince which is sort of funny. Maybe. If you’re high while watching the thing. Very. High. Hmmm… shitty 80’s movie that has since become a cult classic? Let’s remake the thing!
Robert Rodriguez will produce Nu Image/Millennium’s remake of Red Sonja with Rose McGowan as the lead. My familiarity with the character is cursory. I saw the original waaaay back in the day and I’ve only seen the covers of the comic so I have no idea if there’s anything more to her than a big sword and even bigger bags of happy fun. There might be some material there for Rodriguez and crew to mine, but I doubt it. The original was a dumb movie and this remake will probably be a dumb summer movie. Although it would be nice to see a female warrior not strapped into an impossibly tight and completely impractical skimpy leather studded bikini, this is probably not the film for that. This is probably the movie that will indeed feature the female warrior strapped into an impossibly tight and completely impractical skimpy leather studded bikini with dialog to match. Not that there’s anything wrong with Rose McGowan strapped into tiny leather, but I can get that for free on the internet.
Who knows, you might end up seeing it in the actual theater if absolutely nothing else was playing except for Uwe Boll’s latest. However, I suspect that if anything else is playing that weekend, including a Love Boat movie, you’d probably go see that instead.
[Via Variety]
How do you fill a film like Yojimbo with more bodacity? Give Toshiro Mifune a lightsaber!
[Via Videogum]
So who’s Kato? Meh.
Seriously, does anyone give much of a shit that Seth Rogen is Brit Reed? I like Rogen just fine, but no one cares about Brit Reed. Okay, maybe if you’re a fan of the radio drama, Brit Reed is your Bruce Wayne. For the rest of us, we want Kato! Bruce Lee brought Kato to life and anything less than a martial arts phenom just won’t cut it. It should be called The Kato Show! The only reason The Green Hornet is even relevant is because of Bruce Lee.
My go to casting for Martial Arts action these days is always Tony Jaa. But I think Mark Musashi would make an excellent Kato. Brandon would have be absolutely perfect for the role. Too bad. Who would cast as Kato?
[Via The Green Hornet]
True to form, Mikey D returns with more movie shitness. This time, Brendan Fraser returns with an ill conceived remake of Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Okay, so not every movie this summer will be good.
Must we really dig up all the classics just because we can redo the effects with high priced CG? Ugh. Not that I’m a huge fan of the original. But why the hell bother digging this thing up? I suppose those who remember the original all have kids now and might take them to see this waste of film, but really, this is a stupid remake. The only possible entertainment value might come from seeing this in 3D. But then you’ll remember that you’re shelling out $15 for an IMAX movie and wasting gas for CG porn. Actually, CG porn would probably be more entertaining.
Reader Devin Wolfe sent along this interview with Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov who also directed Night Watch and Day Watch, two movies that I freaking love! There were a lot of changes made to the script when adapted from the comics, especially regarding the villains. According to Bekmambetov:
The comic book was like a bible for me, and every time when I had a problem trying to understand what to do for the movie, I read the comic book again and there were all the answers. It was important for me to protect and to develop the ironic tone of the comic book and to save the unique character of Wesley was important. The mythology was changed because the story with supervillains was good but there are too many iconic characters and I don’t know who had the rights for that.
Licensing nightmare anyone? I guess sometimes directors know what they’re doing when they deviate from the source material.
Also, regarding that awesome Russian trailer for the film, apparently Bekmambetov cut and entire new version of the film for Russian audiences with a translation written by the writer of Night Watch and Day Watch. I hope that version gets released on the U.S. DVD. I’d love to do a side-by-side comparison.
Looks like a double feature weekend for me! Wanted and Wall-E!
[Via Superhero Hype]
Reader Jasper Mangus sent along this trailer for Tony Jaa’s directorial debut, Ong Bak 2! Excuse me while I change the pants.
*uhhhhnnn…*
Okay then. The Twitch player is a bit annoying. Press play, pause it, step away for a bit, and then return for some fucking awesome chop socky! Seriously, it’s martial arts porn!
Ong Bak 2 is a sequel in name only (which is fine by me cause honestly, we didn’t love the first one for the plot). Jaa stars as an orphan rescued and raised by martial artists of different disciplines who has trained his whole life to unite the disparate arts into one ultimate martial art.
Yeah, who cares. Tony Jaa. Kicking ass. Flying knee. I’m fucking there!
[Via Twitch]
Reader Ted O’Hanlan sent along news that Lawrence Kasdan will be writing the live action feature film adaptation of Robotech. Among Kasdan’s writing credits are The Big Chill, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Return of the Jedi which all kick quite a lot of ass at the box office and have remained fan favorites for years (well, some liked Jedi less than others, but it certainly kicks the shit out of the prequels). Now I’m slightly less worried that Toby McGuire’s production of Robotech will suck.
Things to hope for.
I’m kind of curious who they have on their short lists for casting. I would so love to see J.K. Simmons (J. Jonah Jamison from the Spidey flicks) as Captain Glovel. That would make me smile on the inside. Maggie Q would be fun as Lisa Hayes, but then again, I want to see Maggie Q in more movies in general. Michael Clarke Duncan should totally be Boldoza! He’s got that deep, booming, menacing voice. The bridge bunnies could be anyone. Toby will probably want to be Rick. Nathan Fillion would be brilliant as Roy. Doesn’t quite match the character design, but I think he’s got the temperament to play an old war hero. I don’t know if she can sing, but Michelle Krusiec would be a decent Minmay. I loved her in Saving Face. Steve Buscemi is perfect for Exador. No ideas for Claudia or Bretai or Max for that matter. I think when we start getting some casting news and see some production shots, then we can decide whether to picket or buy tickets.
Thanks for the heads up, Ted. Here’s hoping for the best.
UPDATE: OH! Forget Lisa, I totally want Maggie Q as Miria!
[Via Hollywood Reporter by way of Cinematical]
Fuck. I don’t want to see this movie. But now I have to.
The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh which is yes. It stars Brendan Fraser which is no. But Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh outweigh Brenden Fraser. Of course, Dwayne Johnson outweighs Brendan Fraser yet The Mummy Returns was had copious amounts of no. However, I suspect that the yes of Li and Yeoh will outweigh the no of Fraser. So I will have to at least entertain thoughts of purchasing a ticket for this on purpose when it drops August 1.
Reader Bart Bacon sent along this trailer for the Death Race remake starring AZM favorite Jason Statham. I’m not saying that I’ll see every movie with Jason Statham in it, but I’ll be more willing to give it a chance if he’s in it. Seems to me that a movie like Death Race 2000 doesn’t really need a remake. I think the remake will be a lot of dumb fun which isn’t bad for a summer flick and certainly Jason Staham will bring his usual flair that we’ve come to love.
From the trailer, it seems like a lot of social commentary has been eschewed for splodies and sexy. But as we’ve seen with the Wanted trailer, there could be much more to this movie than the trailer lets on. I doubt it. Then again, I don’t expect anything too cerebral from my action schlock. Could be a fun way to end the summer of movie bodacity! Death Race hits audiences August, 22. Wonder how many points you get for an entire room.
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