Photo via TOYSREVIL

So… why does he make them? Actually, before Transformers 2, I think his only other sequel was Bad Boys 2.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Michael Bay proclaimed his hatred of sequels when asked about Transformers 2.

When we were writing the script, I said to the writers, “I hate sequels that try to make it to the third movie. Pretend like we’re never having a third movie, so let’s go for broke on the second one. I hate those cliffhangers! Let’s just make this movie stand on its own.” I really feel this movie is not a forced sequel. I think the script is really good, and I think it’s got a lot of new stuff in it. There are a lot of rumors out there, but we’ve released a lot of fake stuff. We’ve done a really good job of keeping things secret.

I’m still not a fan of the first one, but I can respect Boom Boom Bay’s sentiments. Tell a complete story or don’t bother. Sequels that intentionally set up a third movie always feel incomplete. And some franchises should just end with two. Terminator, Karate Kid, Spider-Man, Batman would have all been fine without a third film.

For now I’m going to ignore the fact that Bay is also working on a Friday the 13th (WTF?) and just give him props for wanting to tell a complete story.

[Via Entertainment Weekly]

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Okay, I know I’ve said that I’m not at all that interested in seeing the rise of the machines in the Terminator franchise. But I am easily swayed by splody trailers and Christian Bale. That and it sounds like they’re starting off a new timeline.

It’s set in 2018. That’s pretty damn close. Only ten more years before Skynet starts loosing its shit. We better start making hand held EMPs right quick.

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Yet another game I’m unfamiliar with. This is a Japanese live-action adaptation of Onechanbara.

Here’s the only explanation I can come up with for her fuzzy cowboy outfit. Zombies are attracted to human flesh so the more bare skin she flashes, the more likely she’ll attract zombies. Zombies especially like the cleavatude. I guess.

This movie is a great demonstration of how insanely stupid video game costume design can be. Sure, her outfit is fine for convention cosplay. But fighting zombies? Wouldn’t you at least want some leather armor, especially considering your weapon is a sword which means you might actually have to get close to a zombie. At least leather would be harder for the zombie to chew through than a dumb fluffy bikini. You can be a sexy zombie fighter without being a slutty zombie fighter.

Still, this movie looks like a lot of dumb fun and I seriously doubt the producers were going for anything higher than that. Probably best seen with a group a friends so you can MS3K it yourselves.

Thanks to AZM regular Kevin Bahrt for sending over such madness.

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Never played Max Payne, but damn, this trailer looks freaking awesome! Good to see Mila Kunis running around with a big ol’ shot gun. Always thought she could do more than just comedy. Could this be a game movie with an actual plot? And for those who’ve played it, I know this is just a trailer and there aren’t many real plot details, but does this fit the story of the game?

Thanks to Devin Wolfe and Bart Bacon for sending this over.

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AZM ally Mike Dent sent over this clip from Black Dynamite.

Remember kids, you can be a doctor or a lawyer or the President of the United States. But don’t ever be like Black Dynamite. Can you dig it?

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AZM reader Bart Bacon sent over a shit ton of trailers for The Day the Earth Stood Still, Mutant Chronicles, Knowing, Bolt, Eagle Eye, and The Tale of Despereaux. So I thought I’d dump them all into one post and compose a haiku review for each. The captions for some of them don’t count. Oh, and please feel free to add your own.

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AZM ally Mike Dent just sent me this double trailer for Hard Revenge Milly and The Masked Girl, both hit theaters August 9 in Japan.

Wow! Milly looks fucking insane! Masked Girl feels like a campy, after-school tokusatsu flick with school girls. Doubt that either will get released here, but they look pretty fun. I wonder if it’s a double feature.

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Way back in the day, long before the era of foofy foofy, Bridget Nielsen starred in one of the worst cult classic fantasy films of all time, Red Sonja. Not even Arnold Schwarzenegger, who a year earlier destroyed the box office as The Terminator, could save this abortive attempt to breath life into a dying genre. It’s amusing, kinda. Ernie Reyes, Jr. plays an annoying spoiled prince which is sort of funny. Maybe. If you’re high while watching the thing. Very. High. Hmmm… shitty 80’s movie that has since become a cult classic? Let’s remake the thing!

Robert Rodriguez will produce Nu Image/Millennium’s remake of Red Sonja with Rose McGowan as the lead. My familiarity with the character is cursory. I saw the original waaaay back in the day and I’ve only seen the covers of the comic so I have no idea if there’s anything more to her than a big sword and even bigger bags of happy fun. There might be some material there for Rodriguez and crew to mine, but I doubt it. The original was a dumb movie and this remake will probably be a dumb summer movie. Although it would be nice to see a female warrior not strapped into an impossibly tight and completely impractical skimpy leather studded bikini, this is probably not the film for that. This is probably the movie that will indeed feature the female warrior strapped into an impossibly tight and completely impractical skimpy leather studded bikini with dialog to match. Not that there’s anything wrong with Rose McGowan strapped into tiny leather, but I can get that for free on the internet.

Who knows, you might end up seeing it in the actual theater if absolutely nothing else was playing except for Uwe Boll’s latest. However, I suspect that if anything else is playing that weekend, including a Love Boat movie, you’d probably go see that instead.

[Via Variety]

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How do you fill a film like Yojimbo with more bodacity? Give Toshiro Mifune a lightsaber!

[Via Videogum]

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“Good work, Kato!”

So who’s Kato? Meh.

Seriously, does anyone give much of a shit that Seth Rogen is Brit Reed? I like Rogen just fine, but no one cares about Brit Reed. Okay, maybe if you’re a fan of the radio drama, Brit Reed is your Bruce Wayne. For the rest of us, we want Kato! Bruce Lee brought Kato to life and anything less than a martial arts phenom just won’t cut it. It should be called The Kato Show! The only reason The Green Hornet is even relevant is because of Bruce Lee.

My go to casting for Martial Arts action these days is always Tony Jaa. But I think Mark Musashi would make an excellent Kato. Brandon would have be absolutely perfect for the role. Too bad. Who would cast as Kato?

[Via The Green Hornet]

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