Here’s Justin Chatwin as Goku looking like he just walked off the set of “Gossip Girl.” Audrey and I get two flavors of CW on our cable-less tele and I swear, the network is a factory for generic emo boys and vapid women.

Anyway, back to Chatwin. Just not feeling this. The only thing I’ve really seen him in was that Invisible movie. He had the same expression throughout the film which is slightly disturbing as I think if you suddenly found out you were a walking spirit, you’d show some emotion other than vacant emo stare. I just don’t see him as goofy, fun loving, slightly demented, Goku. You never see Goku without a big toothy grin unless he’s kicking some ass. And even then, he laughs his way through fights. I don’t know, maybe they’re trying to inject some seriousness into this thing.

Not sure who I would cast instead. Hell, not sure I would even bother making this thing. I always want to see more of Tony Jaa. He certainly has the action chops and I think he can pull off a big toothy grin while kicking major ass. Meh. Whatever. I think I’m genetically disposed to not like this.

[Via Dragonball The Movie]

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There are two reasons why you’re going to see The Forbidden Kingdom. You want to see Jackie Chan fight Jet Li. You want to see Jet Li fight Jackie Chan. It’s good. It’s damn good. It’s seriously like watching kung fu porn.

I messed my pants multiple times. Crunchy beyond crunchy!

The fight you will pay good money to see fortunately happens fairly early on in the film. Director Rob Minkoff makes the right choice giving us long camera shots that give us the full view of the hardcore man on man action. Jackie and Jet are wicked fucking fast! Words have not been invented that accurately describe what we saw on screen. Seriously, this is the best fight scene I’ve seen in a good god damned time. It is full of the awesome.

The rest of the movie? Well, I absolutely hated the opening and would have walked out if it was any other movie. It’s completely unbelievable and out of tone with the rest of the film. Michael Angarano is the utterly forgettable view point character. Honestly, at points I forgot he was supposed to be our lead. Yifei Lui plays the female lead opposite of Angarano and has the annoying quirk of referring to herself in the third person. The relationship between Lui and Angarano is never quite fully developed which is somewhat of shame since it’s the only reason she’s in the movie. Obviously, there’s a budding romance there, but it just meanders along going no where. They also never kiss. If you’re going to pretend to have a young romance subplot, at least let them freaking kiss. Disappointing.

Collin Chou is brilliant as the Jade Warrior and Bing Bing Li is quite stunning as the younger Bride with White Hair (okay, that’s not her name, but she’s totally the Bride). I just wish there was more of them. Honestly, you get rid of Angarano’s and Lui’s characters and just pit Bin Bin Li and Collin Chou against Jet Li and Jackie Chan, you have a much tighter movie.

However, the things that suck don’t ruin the things that rock. It’s easy enough to ignore the meh because there are plenty of fights peppered throughout. Jet Li’s Monkey King and disgruntled monk are so enjoyable. He also has the absolute best line I’ve ever heard him say ever! NO, FOOL! Jackie Chan’s drunken immortal is absolutely brilliant. If they never work together again, their amazing fight and chemistry together in this film is enough to satisfy any martial arts geek.

You’ll probably want to catch a matinée. But Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan must be seen on a big ass screen. Fact.

[Via Forbidden Kingdom]

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Is it just me or does Justin Chatwin’s stunt double (thanks to Leto for the correction) here look a bit constipated?

There are more photos from the set of the live-action Dragonbawllz floating out there somewhere, but I’m not going to bother. I’m no big Dragonball expert, but this doesn’t look like no Dragonball. I’ve seen amateur cosplay that’s better than this crap. Wasn’t Tony Jaa free? How about Jet Li? How about some no name martial arts champion or one of those Xtreme martial arts kids? How is this Invisible fop qualified to be a martial arts space monkey?

Unfortunately, I think this will be pretty big. There are enough young Dragonball fans who are eager to consume anything with Dragonball slapped on it. And as the famed Chipmunk episode has taught me, I don’t know shit.

Man, now I’m all depressed. This movie makes me sad panda.

Props to Marty for having the intestinal fortitude to post this first.

[Via Blast-o-Rama]

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Back when I first heard about The Forbidden Kingdom, I wrote it off as a shitty attempt to Americanize Journey to the West.

I was wrong.

Witness epic Kung-Fu featuring Jet Li and Jackie Chan kicking quite a lot of ass.

Did anyone else see a Bride With White Hair in there? This is indeed going to be epic.

Thanks to reader Justin Davis for showing me the err of my ways. Here’s another trailer with more kick assery.

And for all you video nuts out there, you can do your own remix of the trailer over here. If any of you do, let me know so I can link it up and pimp you out.

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I’m already somewhat pleased that Kristen Kreuk will be Chun-Li. But the news that Michael Clark Duncan will play Balrog makes me all giddy. Never thought much of Balrog. Just seemed like a big dumb bruiser to me. The game character doesn’t have all that much personality so it’s almost a blank canvas for Duncan to work with. I can’t wait to see how he’ll portray the boxer.

Chris Klein will play Nash while Rick Yune has been cast as Gen, neither of whom really makes much difference to me. Rounding out the cast are Rounding out the cast are Moon Bloodgood, Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas, Edmund Chen and Cheng Pei Pei. Don’t recognize any of those four and their roles have yet to be announced, but I like the international group that they’re assembling. Cautiously optimistic about this one.

[Via Variety]

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You’d think that the fact that Uwe Boll’s name doesn’t appear in the story that a third Mortal Kombat movie might not reek of rotted suckage. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong. According to director Chris “Mink” Morrison:

[We’re] re-envisioning(if that is a word) of the Mortal Kombat franchise from top to bottom. Todays audience is a savvy involved group so the film must be A plus plus in every area in order to capture the magic of the first film. It is taking the entire concept to the next level across the board in every area visual design, story, cast, FX, photography and most importantly the fighting scenes. The original Mortal Kombat game was born a child of many visual loves by the creators at midway so this latest version borrows heavily from that pioneering spirit and must be thought out and executed at the highest level in order for it succeed in today’s market place. This is no overnight task.

Do what now?

“Capture the magic of the first film?” You know, it must have been magic. Not only did the first film cast a spell on my dumb ass to go ahead and pay for full price opening night tickets on purpose, but it was powerful enough to make me pay for full price opening night tickets to the first one. Dumb, dumb, dumb! Those movies sucked. Not only that, the heat on the franchise has long since cooled. Sure, the games are amusing, but they don’t generate even a quarter of the buzz that they used to. Revamping the series seems weak a pathetic at this point.

However, if the name Tony Jaa is connected to such a thing, I might be persuaded to give this a peek. Also, if that chick in that Chocolate movie is cast as someone, I’m completely sold.

Um… guess my geek-o-meter outweighs my stay-away-from-shit-remakes-o-meter.

[Via Moviehole]

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My friend Mason Booker of May-Sun Productions entered into a short film competition and asked for some help on his submission. He needed a Yakuza boss and he wondered if I’d be interested. Sure. Why not! Okay, so it’s a fairly stereotypical role, I admit, but who doesn’t want to be a Yakuza boss! We shot for two days on location in Baltimore. Long ass days, but I had a lot of fun on set. The short, “Slice,” won an award for its lighting.

It’s a story about a boy, a girl, and the pizza that changed their lives forever! DUHN DUHN DUUUUUHNNN!

[Via May-Sun Productions]

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Are you excited about the new live-action Dragonball movie? Well, at least James Marsters is:

I’m not really allowed to talk about any of the movie details, but I can say that James Wong is obviously a gifted and insightful director! When I got the role I had doubts. The more I live with it I realize that I am going to rock this harder than I have anything in my life. I’m hungry for it.

Hungry to play a grumpy green alien? I guess everyone needs a goal.

Though I think this is a really dumb idea, I’m probably going to see this at some point. The only way to truly appreciate this is to probably go in expecting not much more than Snakes on a Mother Fucking Plane. It was always hard for me to take Dragonball, Dragonball Z, or Dragonball GT all that seriously. The fight scenes were always just batshit crazy and the food naming conventions always made me hungry. But if I thought too much about the actual plot, blood would start dripping out of my eyes.

I’m not expecting much in the way of plot for this thing. It’ll be interesting to see how ridiculous the characters look in live action if they even come close to their animated counterparts. The fight scenes, which should make up about 80% of the film, should be somewhat entertaining. So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

[Via Official James Marsters Webite]

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I’ve tracked down some more information on what promises to be the best martial arts flick this year! FACT!

Chocolate is directed by Prachya Pinkaew, the same man behind Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong (The Protector), and stars newcomer Nicharee “Jeeja” Vismistananda. Jeeja plays an autistic girl who sets off on a mission to collect debts owed to her mother. She can do this, you see, because she’s learned martial arts by watching Bruce Lee flicks while munching on, what else, chocolate candies. It doesn’t get much better than this!

Oh, and here’s a higher quality trailer that you should show everyone you know.

[Via Twitch]

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Reader Dave Reimer sent this trailer along and wow! Just wow! FACT! This movie is apparently called Chocolate and I MUST SEE IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! Looks like it’s from the same production company behind Ong Bak. If anyone has any more information on this thing, please please pass it along. I must see this in the theater somewhere even if I have to doggy paddle all the way to Thailand!

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