As you know, there’s this Speed Racer movie that opens May 9. And thus far, I haven’t been all that thrilled with the prospect. So reader Devin Wolfe sent me links to an extended featurette and an international spot with tons of extra footage.

Well…

This isn’t for me and I know that. And I can pretty much guarantee that it’s going to make a shit ton of cashola. The Wachowski’s will somewhat redeem their lackluster performance with the Matrix sequels with a home run summer blockbuster.

To me, it looks like a shiny demo reel. I realize that the source material isn’t exactly award winning. It was a big deal here because at the time it was different, but it doesn’t hold up. I’m a big fan of the Fast and Furious series so this should be right up my alley. And I recognize how much work it takes to make shiny graphics like that. But I can’t get into this.

Chances are I’ll see this in the theater anyway. And if it comes out in 3D, that will probably be enough to fool my small brain into thinking it’s full of awesome sauce.

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Sony and Capcom are teaming up for a CG Resident Evil movie. This is being released in Japan so I’m guessing we can expect something like Advent Children. Not much more information other than it will be based on an original story and probably won’t be related to the Milla Jovovich flicks which is probably a good thing. Certainly couldn’t be any worse, could it?

[Via Variety]

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Among the many high res tinker toy photos posted over at Michael Bay’s blog, I came across this little gem. Optimus is giving everyone free admission to the show, the gun show. And I’m looking at him pose and the only thing I can think of is the following:

Give Optimus two pair. He needs two pair.

[Via Bay Blog]

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Michael Bay’s official website is hosting an informal poll on whether or not Optimus should wear his faceplate. This is what he looks like without the face plate:

Kinda looks like he wants to eat Shia LaBeouf.

In light of the fact that there are only 22 votes on the poll, it’s doubtful that it will have any impact on the final cut that will be shown in theaters. Besides, if Optimus is hungry, he should be allowed to eat.

This movie is gonna suck big energon balls.

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To be fair, I’ve seen worse things. I saw Showgirls once. And there was that time when I watched Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. But this is pretty damn bad.

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Separated at birth?

If you hop on over to SectorSeven.org, type in “NBETWO” as your handy dandy password, click on the scorpion and read the email dated March 23, you’ll find the following:

OPERATION: HUNGRY DRAGON 2 CONTINUES. AS OF TODAY, AGENT H. WEAVING HAS OFFICIALLY CONVINCED S.S., M.B., R.D., AND A.K. TO ASSIGN HIM TO OVERSEE THE MEGAMAN ISSUE. THE RECORDING WILL COMMENCE IMMEDIATELY.

ALL THE YEARS OF INVESTING INTO AGENT WEAVING’S PUBLIC PERSONA HAVE FINALLY PAID OFF. HE WILL MONITOR THE CAMPAIGN FROM THE INSIDE AND REPORT ON ITS PROGRESS FREE FROM SUSPICION.

BY THIS SUMMER, THE POPULATION WILL THINK N.B.E.S. ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A FIGMENT OF SOMEONE’S OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION.

OUR POWER LIES IN OUR SECRECY.

Will Hugo Weaving as Megatron possibly make the Big Bot movie any better? Seeing as how the second and third Martix films sucked rotten donkey cock, it’s dubious at best. It will be interesting to hear if Weaving channels his Agent Smith voice or come up with something equally as sinister (like Peter Frampton) for Megatron.

Dammit, now I might have to rent the stupid thing when it comes out on DVD. Or maybe I’ll wait til it gets shown on tele.

[HJU Discussion]

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Imagi Studios, the people responsible for the CG in the new Turtles flick, has posted some concept art for the upcoming CG adaptations of Gatchaman and Astro Boy.

This concept painting looks like a stylized version of the G1. Gatchaman will hit theaters sometime in 2008. No word on wheather or not the Science Ninja Team will be facing off against the giant robot Turtle King of doom.

Mighty Atom looks pretty damn mighty in this shot. Astro Boy will hit theaters sometime in 2009. Wonder why they chose to go with the Japanese name for Gatchaman and not Mighty Atom for Astro Boy.

There aren’t many details on the plot for either of these movies. If they end up being mostly origin movies, that’s not going to be all that interesting. All you need is a quick little paragraph on why the Science Ninja Team Gatchaman was formed and how Astro Boy was created and just go from there. No need to get bogged down on recruitment scenes or construction scenes. If both movies take place sometime after the television series, that opens the door for a lot of interesting possibilities. I expect we’ll get more details on Gatchaman sometime early next year and probably more on Astro Boy after that.

[HJU Discussion]

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George Lucas is self-producing a 100 Clone Wars episodes to fill in the gap between Episode II and Episode III. The 100 episodes will be full 3D productions. Once complete, he’ll shop the series to the networks.

I really didn’t like Episode I or II. III kicked the shit out of the previous two. You could probably show someone new to the Star Wars franchise that third one and they could jump right in to A New Hope without seeing Phantom Plot or Attack of the CG. Clone Wars kicked quite a lot of ass so this new series sounds really good. ILM does some truly truly outrageous CG and I can’t wait to see what they come up with. Sounds like a very ambitious project, but I think it’ll be worth seeing.

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Ah! He’s seizing! Bumblebee was always my favorite Transformer. I still haven’t taken a shine to this new version, but the fact that he’ll be blasting “Whip It” by Devo is amusing.

There was a 25 minute preview of the flick shown at the New York Toy Fair. Still sounds like a crappy demo reel movie to me. Ah well.

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Rumored for a while now, it looks like Sony is ready to move forward with the live-action Metal Gear Solid movie. Maybe this will be the video game movie that doesn’t suck! I would really love to see giant mechs on the screen because there just aren’t enough of them in movies these days. However, there’s a real danger that this film becomes some CG studio’s high-priced demo reel. You know it’s going to be full of some truly awesome effects, but there’s got to be a good story to hold my interest.

And the only person who can play Solid Snake is the man who played the character that Snake is based off in the first place. Kurt “Snake Plissken” Russel!

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