Angry Zen Minion Ted O’Hanlan sent along this trailer for Ryuhei Kitamura’s latest, The Midnight Meat Train. Yes. That Kitamura. Versus (meh), Godzilla Final Wars (geek hurray!) Kitamura. The Kitamura who we all expected to make mindless kitschy B genre flicks for the rest of his career has kicked things up a few notches. If this review of The Midnight Meat Train is any indication, we may have a horror/terror/torture porn flick on our hands that redefines the genre.

This one seems to be getting a bit more love than Repo. There’s a midnight showing at the E Street Cinema in D.C. that I might just have to drag a bunch of people along with me to check out.

[Via Cinematical]

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I find it more and more difficult to hate Paris Hilton the more I see of her in Repo, The Genetic Opera. In this clip, sent over from AZM Ally Kensei Dave, we get a deeper look at Hilton’s character, Amber Sweet. The bad news, sounds like Hilton will actually sing in this movie. But the little bits of “Zydrate Anatomy” we get throughout this clip sound freaking awesome. So who knows.

Repo drops in select theaters next Friday. They’re also going on a road tour with select dates in Portland, Seattle, Chicago, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, and Orlando. Dammit! No DC love! Ah well.

[Via REPO! The Genetic Opera]

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Unlike Jason Statham, Jean Claude Van Damme brings very little pathos to his roles. But he makes up for his lack of acting abilities with a healthy dose of ass kicking. So it was with great surprise that I found myself quite compelled by him as an actor rather than a chop socky star in this trailer for JCVD sent over by Angry Zen Minion Samurai Penguin.

Van Damme’s public persona is certainly in need of a makeover. He’s known as kind of a dick. If the trailer for JCVD is any indication, the movie may serve to humanize Van Damme in a way his dancing cannot.

It’s been a good long while since I’ve actually wanted to see a Van Damme film on purpose, but this JCVD looks quite good. It’s headed to select theaters November 7 so I might have to wait for the DVD if it’s not playing near me. But it’s definitely on my list.

Of course, we all recall that Van Damme is responsible for perhaps one of the greatest movie speeches in the history of film. Observe:

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Resident AZM Uwe Boll watcher Tyler Anderson writes in with news that Uwe Boll is no longer satisfied with just spewing shit upon the silver screen. Oh no. This time, Uwe Boll takes on gaming! From Tyler:

As if making movies which borderline on travesty isn’t enough, now Uwe Boll is turning his sights to my personal favorite hobby; video games. 1968 Tunnel Rats is the newest offering from Uwe Bolls seemingly endless supply of terrible concepts. The trailer is just…pricelessly terrible, with issues that run the gamut from jittery framerate, terriblly rendered textures and messages like “If you were a soldier in 1968…They would’ve prepared you to fight in tunnels.”

The best part? RollyBolly is apparently completely pleased with this product…like everything else he’s ever done ever. But hey, I guess you really should love your work…even if everyone else hates it and thinks it’s a terrible idea. And that’s what he must do; just shove his fingers in his ears and scream “la la la la la la la!” until everyone looks at him sadly and walks away. Kotaku writer Mike Fahey make a pretty good suggestion though; “I am just hoping the whole thing is a big joke, culminating in Boll doing a movie adaptation of the game based on his movie which turns out completely different than the original film.”

What amazes me the most is how a man who is so reviled in the gaming community for churning out shitty movie adaptations of their favorite games manged to convince a game studio to produce this crap on purpose. I mean, they actually spent time and money to develop this nasty thing. Even a shitty game costs money. It baffles the mind.

[Via Kotaku]

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This trailer for Ping Pong Playa had me rolling! This is exactly the type of movie that I never knew I was waiting for. It’s been a while since I’ve seen an American produced movie with a predominantly Asian cast where no one does any kung fu fighting. About fucking time! Although, ping pong is also kind of stereotypically a Chinese sport, but I’ll take it. This looks like a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it’s so indy that it’s not playing at a theater near me. Poop! I think they’re running premiers in California so you west coast Angry Zen Masters will have to check it out and report back. I really want to see this on the big screen, but if I have to wait, I’ll freaking buy the DVD as soon as it drops!

[Via Ping Pong Playa]

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AZM Ally Greg sends word that Sam Raimi and Toby McGuire have signed on for Spider-Man 4 and 5. No word on plot or potential villains so that’s still up for speculation. Also not confirmed is Kirsten Dunst’s return as Mary Jane Watson. In the past, she’s intimated that she would return to the franchise under the right circumstances and looked forward to working with Raimi sometime in the future. With Raimi and McGuire back on, it probably won’t get any righter. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before she signs on. Gone is the black costume which indicates that we won’t be getting a Return of the Dark Spider flick. Thank gods. Dark Disco Pete was admittedly one of the more amusing character changes from the third flick, but honestly he doesn’t fit. We want the real Peter Parker back in action. I’d also like to see Bryce Dallas Howard return as Gwen Stacy, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. There are rumblings of filming 4 and 5 back to back since it was difficult to get Raimi and McGuire signed on. I also find it interesting they’re talking 4 and 5 and not a 6th.

So what’s next for Pete? The big wedding? They kind of set that up in the third and though Pete kind of screwed the pooch on that one, a very Spider wedding could be a nice life change. Throw in Black Cat and we got ourselves a very tangled web for Pete. Doc Conners is an obvious choice for a villain. I’d like to see a movie version of Lizard. Kraven the Hunter or even Vulture might be nice.

What would you all like to see in a fourth and fifth Spidey flick?

http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/exclusive-sony-sets-sam-raimi-studio-may-shoot-4-and-5-at-same-time/

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Angry Zen Minion Kevin Bahrt found this awesome short film starring Leo Skelly as The Censor, a psychotic BBFC censorship official who suddenly snaps and takes it upon himself to censor the real world. This was all put together for less than £20. And in a little twist of irony, they had to censor out the naughty bits to get it up on YouTube.

*SNIP SNIP*

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A little over a year ago, Angry Zen Minion Sammy D sent me episode one of The Legend of Neil. Through a freak masturbation/asphyxiation accident, Neil gets transported into the world of The Legend of Zelda where he must deal with the ridiculousness of game mechanics as if they were real life rules.

Finally, after a year, episode 2 has dropped with more to come. Episode 3 launches tomorrow, episode 4 launches on 8/14, episode 5 launches on 8/21, and episode 6 launches on 8/28. It’s pretty funny and decently produced. Can’t wait for more. There’s no embedding from the site so you’ll just have to head on over and witness the funny.

[Via Legend of Neil]

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AZM Ally Keith sent over this trailer for his friend’s documentary, 99 Bottles Documentary. Time for all of you microbrew enthusiasts to break out a few cold ones. And I quote:

Journey with us into the unique and exploding industry of the microbrewery industrial movement. Focusing on the region of southeastern Wisconsin, we will explore how this industry began to grow from a lose knit circle of home brewer basement boilers to an industry gaining an increasing foothold in a once oligarchic marketplace.

Come with us as we search for the taste, people, culture and history of Wisconsin’s craft brewing industry.

The movie premiers August 21st at Wisconsin’s Oriental Theater, 2230 North Farwell Ave, at 7pm. Tickets are $10 with half of the proceeds going to the Kiwanis Club’s annual Brew Fest fundraiser. Here’s hoping it eventually gets a wider release! Congrats guys and good luck!

[Via 99 Bottles Documentary]

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And I quote:

After realizing that yellow sticky note “to do” lists were consuming his life, animation filmmaker Jeff Chiba Stearns decided to visually self-reflect on his filmmaking journey by animating on the same sticky notes that caused him to ignore major world events for the last nine years. Animation meditation is blended with image, text, and an original musical score by Genevieve Vincent through the creation of a classically animated experimental film that was drawn straight ahead with only a black ink pen on over 2300 yellow sticky notes. Order a DVD at www.hapanimation.com.

Absolutely brilliant.

[Via Hapanimation]

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