Reader Jasper Mangus sent along this trailer for Tony Jaa’s directorial debut, Ong Bak 2! Excuse me while I change the pants.

*uhhhhnnn…*

Okay then. The Twitch player is a bit annoying. Press play, pause it, step away for a bit, and then return for some fucking awesome chop socky! Seriously, it’s martial arts porn!

Ong Bak 2 is a sequel in name only (which is fine by me cause honestly, we didn’t love the first one for the plot). Jaa stars as an orphan rescued and raised by martial artists of different disciplines who has trained his whole life to unite the disparate arts into one ultimate martial art.

Yeah, who cares. Tony Jaa. Kicking ass. Flying knee. I’m fucking there!

[Via Twitch]

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Fuck. I don’t want to see this movie. But now I have to.

The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh which is yes. It stars Brendan Fraser which is no. But Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh outweigh Brenden Fraser. Of course, Dwayne Johnson outweighs Brendan Fraser yet The Mummy Returns was had copious amounts of no. However, I suspect that the yes of Li and Yeoh will outweigh the no of Fraser. So I will have to at least entertain thoughts of purchasing a ticket for this on purpose when it drops August 1.

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Reader Bart Bacon sent along this trailer for the Death Race remake starring AZM favorite Jason Statham. I’m not saying that I’ll see every movie with Jason Statham in it, but I’ll be more willing to give it a chance if he’s in it. Seems to me that a movie like Death Race 2000 doesn’t really need a remake. I think the remake will be a lot of dumb fun which isn’t bad for a summer flick and certainly Jason Staham will bring his usual flair that we’ve come to love.

From the trailer, it seems like a lot of social commentary has been eschewed for splodies and sexy. But as we’ve seen with the Wanted trailer, there could be much more to this movie than the trailer lets on. I doubt it. Then again, I don’t expect anything too cerebral from my action schlock. Could be a fun way to end the summer of movie bodacity! Death Race hits audiences August, 22. Wonder how many points you get for an entire room.

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Reader Bart Bacon sent along a trailer of the ever dishy and shirtless Jason Statham kicking quite a lot of ass in Transporter 3. I saw the first one and quite liked it, but missed the second. As much as I profess to hate sequels, this looks like a lot of dumb fun. I’ve got a soft spot for Jason Statham and love seeing him kicking the shit out of things. My guess is that Transporter 3 won’t offer much in terms of plot, but that’s not why we watch these kinds of movies.

Transporter 3 drops November 26, 2008. I might just have to check this out! Thanks for the trailer Bart.

[Via Joblo]

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Sam Raimi is interested in directing a fourth Spider-Man movie if Sony will have him.

James Vanderbilt is writing the script and I’m excited to read it. I think it’s going to be done in a few months. I’m hoping it’s as great as our discussions were about it and I’m hoping it feels right for me because I love Spider-Man. I’m hoping I’m well rested enough to embrace it and I’m hoping Sony wants me to do it. If all of those things come together, I would love to do it. There are a lot of unknowns abot the future.

He’d also like to stick with Toby and Kirsten if they’re interested.

You know, out of the three flicks, I only really like the second. The first left a bad taste in my mouth. I was never comfortable with Pete exacting revenge on who he thought was Uncle Ben’s killer. He never really pays for it emotionally or otherwise. The third one, ugh. What a cluster fuck. It’s clear that Venom was thrown in last minute. Get rid of Venom, you’d have a freaking awesome flick!

Still, I kind of want to see what Raimi can do with a fourth. Hopefully, he’ll have more control so he’s not forced to add anyone just because the execs think he or she will be popular. I’d like to see some Doc Connors Lizard action or maybe some complicated love triangle with Black Cat, but I’m up for whatever Raimi and crew can come up with. Maybe the Spider movies will be like the Trek movies, every even number movie kicks ass and every odd number movie is meh.

I have heard a few names thrown around the rumor mill, but if it turns out that Toby and Kirsten aren’t interested, who would you cast as Peter Parker or Mary Jane Watson?

[Via Coming Soon]

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MC’s Prime Directive and Galaxy Class reveal the hidden sex lives of the crew of the USS Enterprise D. Come to think of it, there was an awful lot of space nookie in TNG. Dancing ensigns FTW! Fully fucking functional!

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Shaolin Girl is a Stephen Chow produced sequel to Shaolin Soccer. It was released in Japan back in April so it’s got to be out there somewhere, fansub or for sale. Either way, I must see this as soon as possible!

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Did you hear the announcer voice say “Ultra movie the final” in that third trailer? Say it ain’t so!

Here are three trailers for Great Decisive Battle! Super Ultra 8 Brothers! This is the first time the Heisei era ultras, Tiga, Dyna, and Gaia, will be meet their Showa era counterparts in official continuity. They’ve met each other before in the live stage show and that crazy dance one, but I think this is the first official crossover.

I really hope this isn’t the last one. But if it is, they’re capping off Ultraman with a bang!

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My brother, Mat, sent me this website on Temporal Anomalies in Time Travel Movies which explains how the timeline isn’t completely fubar every time Skynet sends a tinker toy back in time to kill the Connors. It’s quite complicated and very thorough, but if I tried to par it down to a sentence, basically anytime anyone jumps back in time, they start a new timeline. This first part analyzes the first two films. The follow up analyzes the time anomalies of the third movie. I’d love to see how the television series fits into this reasoning.

It’s quite thorough so make sure you give yourself some time to go through the site. Also, give yourself plenty of physical space around you for when your brains start to ooze out of your nose, you’ll want something comfortable close by to brace your fall when you collapse in a quivering puddle of nerd goo.

Thanks Mat. Your brother is no officially brain dead.

[Via Temporal Anamolies in Time Travel Movies]

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Reader Bart Bacon reminded me that, oh yeah, there’s an X-Files movie coming out this summer and sent along this trailer.

I have never been much of a supporter of this go around. I think it’s a few years too late and general interest in the series is not as feverishly high as it once was. However, after seeing this trailer my interest is starting to grow. I have always believed that Xzibit could pimp out just about anything. And if any franchise needs some pimping, certainly X-Files is on the short list. Seeing Xzibit as an FBI agent piques my curiosity.

Can this man, who has brought so much pimpage to wack rides all over California, pimp out a franchise that has lost its sparkle? Signs point to maybe. I may just have to see this in the theater after all. What other franchises could use some good old pimping? From what I hear, the Indiana Jones flick could have used some Xzibit love.

[Via X-Files]

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