AZM Ally Greg passed along a list of 75 comics that are coming to the big screen as feature films. The slate seems very Marvel heavy. A lot of usual suspects and some titles that we’ve heard rumors about for a while now (looking at you Battle Angel Alita). Warren Ellis’s Red is absolutely perfect for the big screen. It was kind of a sleeper mini series, but I loved it to bits. Has a very modern noir feel to it with plenty of action and an actual plot. Runaways also seems like it’s made for live action, although, I think it might work better as a television series. Frank Miller is helming Hard Boiled and I hope to god he remembers to put some damn color in the fucking film. If Hard Boiled looks like Sin City, someone seriously needs to kick Frank out of Hollywood.

The door is wide open for comic creators to make ungodly sums of money from film rights. Some may even get a shot at working in the film industry. Fans get to see their favorite characters come to live on the big screen. And it’s clear that Hollywood needs some fresh ideas, even though many of these comic properties are decades old. For Hollywood, these titles come with an established fan base who are more likely than not to see these things in the theater. And with the proven financial successes of Spider-Man, Dark Knight, and Iron Man, comic book flicks are serious, cash-money business.

Greg also mentioned that he was looking forward to an Erfworld movie. Certainly, Rob and I would love it if a producer suddenly showed up at our doorsteps with ungodly sums of money just waiting to be thrown at us. Of course, the question is do you do an Erfworld animated or live action feature? Besides Parson, all of my character designs have GINORMOUS, unnatural heads! Do you ignore that and just film it live action anyway and do some forced-perspective ala Lord of the Rings? And now to the real question, who would you cast in an Erfworld movie? Time for the Erfworld casting game! I’m most curious as to who people would want to see as Wanda. She’s the one character who truly frightens the shit out of both me and Rob.

[Via Den of Geek]

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There are all sorts of rumors floating around about who will play Wonder Woman in the Just League of America flick. Variety has Jessica Biel in talks to play the mighty Amazon. But Angry Zen Minion S. Blue and AZM Allies Valerie and Dave Reimer point to a BBC article in which Beyonce said that she’d love to play Wonder Woman:

I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?

Let’s put aside for the moment that she diva’d out and went all Diana Ross on her Destiny’s Child friends which is always, ALWAYS a dick move. Normally I think I’d call foul and yell that Diana should be played by a Greek woman. But for some reason, I don’t hate the idea of Beyonce playing Wonder Woman. I kind of look at it like Michael Clarke Duncan as Kingpin. He was the best part of that movie and played the role so well that now it’s hard for me to imagine anyone else playing Kingpin. If Beyonce turns in a great performance, I think I’d feel the same. ‘Course, if she botches it’ll end Wonder Woman’s movie career for good.

The thing is, out of all the superheroes, I feel that Wonder Woman is such a strong icon that she has the potential to transcend race. I think all women of all ethnicity can look to Wonder Woman for inspiration. That being said, I feel she deserves her own damn movie. She should have a solo pic before joining up with the JLA. If Catwoman can get a flick, surely Diana deserves her shot in the spotlight.

[Via Variety and BBC]

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Angry Zen Minion Bart Bacon sent over a bunch of trailers for the Winter 2008-2009 movie season and aside from that third Underpants flick, they actually look quite good. So let’s dive in with some snap judgments.

Gran Torino - Silly Chinese gang bangers, don’t fuck with Harry Callahan!

Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans - Well, at least there are no UV bullets.

Push - *ahem* KANEEEEEDAAAAAAAA!!

Sunshine Cleaning - Only Amy Adams could make bloody crime scene clean-up endearing.

Hank and Mike - Debaucherous drunk Easter Bunnies ftw?

Filth and Wisdom - Ballet dancer turned stripper? Anorexic Pharmacist? S&M handlebar mustache man? Anyone surprised that this is Madonna’s directoral debut?

Overall, seems like a pretty entertaining bunch of flicks. I’m interested to see Dakota Fanning kick some ass as a telepath. Clint Eastwood is the only man alive who can say “Get off my lawn” and not induce fits of uncontrolled laughter. And I think Amy Adams is the only one who can make blood and guts and brain bits lovable.

Not so sure about the bunnies.

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AZM Ally Greg sends over the juicy rumor that the 11th Doctor may be Paterson Joseph, pictured above as The Emperor Jones. Joseph appeared in the first season on a few episodes, but since I’ve only seen the Donna Noble season all the way through, I missed Joseph’s episodes. It’ll probably seem a bit racist on my part to get excited about a casting change based entirely on race, but I’ll say it. This is bloody fucking brilliant! And honestly, Paterson Joseph as the Doctor can’t possibly be as terrible as Colin Baker as the Doctor. Blech. Who are you shouting at all the bloody time, Colin?!

All we need are some Asian companions and we’re all set!

[Via Sci Fi Wire and Lying in the Gutters]

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Angry Zen Minion Ted O’Hanlan sends word that one of the writers of that dumb-shit Shia LaBeouf thing, Eagle Eye, is working on a sequel to Blade Runner. Travis Wright and John Glenn worked on a first draft of Eagle Eye before Glenn left the partnership. The two had previously talked about writing a sequel to Blade Runner and even got some input from Blade Runner producer Bud Yorkin, but that all ended a while ago. So if there is still a sequel in the works, Wright is running solo.

No studio is attached to develop the project so for now, it’s all in Wright’s head. Here’s hoping it stays there. Blade Runner needs no sequel. After twenty six years, the film stands the test of time. We rarely get sci-fi films that hold up for even five years. A sequel has little chance of living up to that standard of quality.

[Via Slash Film]

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A big press event for the September 30 release of Iron Man on DVD, John Favreau unloaded a whole mess of sequel updates. Let’s go to the list:

• The Mandarin will be a major franchise villain as hinted by the appearance of the “Ten Rings” terrorist cell in the first film. Whether or not he’ll appear in the second or third film is still up for debate.
• Terrence Howard was horribly underused so Jim Rhodes may get to suit up as War Machine to make up for his smaller role in the first film. Please, make it so!
• Tony’s problem with alcohol, the “Demon in a Bottle” storyline, could play a major role in the future which would lead nicely into Rhodey taking over. Again, make it so!
• Hulk and Cap may make an appearance as well, though Favreau isn’t so interested in Thor.
• Current events may influence the direction of future films. Some sites have taken this to indicate the possibility of a conflict with Russia which would herald the appearance of the Crimson Dynamo.

I imagine S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury would also make some kind of appearance in the sequels along with the Avengers initiative. I’d really like to see the alcoholism angle leading to Rhodey suiting up as War Machine play out on screen. You don’t need tragedy for character development, but it would sure make Tony more real. The third film could be Tony’s redemption and a big face off with the Mandarin. That would be an excellent character arc for Tony.

So, it’s time for the casting game! Who would you like to see play Mandy? He doesn’t have to be Chinese, although Asian would certainly be nice. He doesn’t even have to be a he. We’re looking for someone who fits the role. So cast away!

[Via MTV]

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I could probably stop my review of Death Race at the title of this review. But allow me to give further proof. This is an actual bit of dialog that Joan Allen says quite on purpose.

Okay cocksucker! Fuck with me and we’ll see who shits on the sidewalk!

Wow. What kind of drugs must you ingest to put those particular words in that particular order, give them to an actor, and actually convince her to say them in that particular order on very expensive film?

Death Race is a contemporary interpretation of the cult classic Death Race 2000. The original takes a satirical view of a culture obsessed with violence as entertainment. The remake examines similar themes but does so in a very safe, watered down fashion. That sounds strange in a film billed as a no-holds-barred actioner with splodies a plenty. Never the less, this is a kinder, gentler Death Race.

The race itself plays out like a video game. Every car is armed to the teeth. The weapons on the cars are controlled electronically by the prison. Cars must drive over sword icons to activate offensive weapons like machine guns or missiles and shield icons to activate defensive weapons like oil slick and smoke screen. Like Spy Hunter. Except less fun. Driving over skull icons activates death traps. When the warden turns on the icons, it’s first come first serve.

The characters are all glorified stereotypes. The dialog is atrocious. The plot is barely serviceable. The video game race is fucking lame. The stunts aren’t all that impressive. But that’s all window dressing compared to my biggest problem with the flick. By changing the setting from a cross country race of random death and mayhem to a prison, Death Race becomes a safe movie. As B movie bad as Death Race 2000 was, it left me uncomfortable. Most of the deaths in the original were completely random and totally unjustified. The only unjust death in the remake is the murder of Jason Statham’s character’s wife. Every other death falls into the righteous killing category. You virtually cheer for everyone that Statham puts down. And the random drivers who bite it we don’t care about because they were hardened criminals. They’re all righteous killings, completely justified and therefore totally safe.

This is a terrible movie. But what saves it from the “so terrible I wish I could go back in time and beat the shit out of myself to prevent me from ever seeing that piece of shit that I just saw” pile to the “wow, that’s so shitty it’s actually good” pile is one Jason Statham. He brings such pathos to an otherwise vacuous and soulless affair. You really feel for him as he stares into the eyes of a photo of his daughter. There’s a quiet sincerity in his performance that’s just too good for such a shitty movie. He’s so real that he just draws you in.

Oh, David Carradine has a cameo in the beginning as the voice of Frankenstein. That was actually kind of cool.

So yeah, Death Race fucking sucks. But it sucks in a very good way, namely Jason Statham. This is the kind of film you’ll want to turn your brain off, grab some popcorn (and possibly and large bag of narcotics), and sit back and laugh your ass off with a bunch of friends. It so unintentionally bad and funny. I would watch it again in a big group with lots of munchies to go around. I would recommend you wait for NETFLIX or rental.

So there! That’s me! I’m shitting on the fucking sidewalk!

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If you wanted to daken up Superman, Mark Miller would probably be on a short list of writers who could do it well. Angry Zen Minion Kevin Bahrt sent along news that Mark Miller in collaboration with a mysterious big named director has pitched a Superman movie trilogy to Warner Brothers.

I imagine that Miller has an Ultimates style revamp in the works. But that’s as far as I’m willing to speculate. Certainly the Superman franchise needs a kick in the pants. I think Miller could handle darkening him up without making it dark for darkness sake. The truth is, these days are dark anyway. Just plop Supes in the middle of this war on terror and you’ve got a right dark flick right there. I’m kind of interested to see what he’s got up his sleeve.

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So this should be taken with a giant salt lick, but apparently, Cher is in talks to play Catwoman for the third Bat flick. According to a stuiod exec:

Cher is Nolan’s first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years. The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry’s purring creations.

Hmm…

If you’re going to go that route, I kinda want to see Eartha Kitt as Catwoman instead. Personal preference, but she’s always been my personal favorite for Catwoman. I think she’d make an excellent Cougarwoman.

So what do you all think? Does Cher plus Depp plus Hoffman equal win? Does an aging Catwoman interest you? Is this all just bullshit?

[Via The Telegraph by way of Occasional Superheroine]

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Angry Zen Minion Partick Vick sent along some more concept art from that new Halo movie pitch. Look at all the kiddie Spartans playing on the obstacle course! Not depicted is the cafeteria where they can’t have any pudding if they don’t eat their meat.

Latino Review has a higher res version of the pic. Apparently, M$ served them with a cease and desist which they promptly ignored since this is concept art for a pitch and not an actual movie. Not sure how long it will be up so you may want to snag soon.

[Via Latino Review]

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