So this election is pretty fucked. I’m sick and tired of everything already and it isn’t even November yet. Of course the big news is Sarah Palin. I’ve tried my best to keep political shit off AZM because it makes me fucking furious, but Ananth pointed me to this episode of P-Diddy’s Blog that made me laugh.

“Alaska mother fucker?”

Brilliant!

Funny shit. But apparently, people take Diddy really seriously. I guess that’s what you get when you’re clocking in millions of dollars. So he released an apology vlog.

This really pisses me off. First, that shit was funny. No crack heads in Alaska? I’m sorry, but that shit is funny. Second, who the fuck takes Diddy seriously? Can’t a guy just have some fun on a stupid camera? He articulates his point very well in this second blog, but honestly, he shouldn’t feel the need to apologize. Can you imagine how stupid comedy would be if every comedian apologized for every joke that may have offended someone? What the fuck! When did we become so fucking humorless?

Go the fuck on, Diddy! That shit was funny. Everyone knows that shit was funny. Goddamn man, can’t we take a fucking joke anymore?

Vote or die, mother fuckers.

UPDATE: Goddammit, Diddy! He made the videos private now so you have to be friended to Diddy’s YouTube account to see them. Fuck man, if you have something to say, fucking say it and say it proud!

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They gotta play this at the convention sometime next week! Rick Astley FTW!!

[Via The Margins of Error]

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You know… I fear my credibility as a pop culture skeptic will be ruined forever, but that actually makes a lot of sense.

I’m impressed. And a little frightened. Perhaps Ms. Hilton isn’t as vapid and useless as I once thought. The hell is going on here?

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A few things to keep in mind before you jump right into the “OMGZ, teh Japanz R Racist!” pool. Snow monkeys are revered as intelligent and wise in Japan. They even have their own temples. There is a new political drama on Japanese television that started in May called Change. The intended audience does not associate monkeys with racist images of blacks. Of course, the intended audience isn’t all that diverse to begin with. Also, The intended audience has not been assaulted on a daily basis by the Democratic primary race.

So let’s get into this.

From an American perspective, this is horribly racist. The “Change” banners, the monkey in a suit, it’s clearly a riff on Obama’s campaign. Sure, all the presidential candidates this time around have attempted to use “change” as their theme. But most of us readily associate “change” with Obama. Blacks have been portrayed as monkeys in racist cartoons and comics here in America so it’s easy to associate the monkey with Obama and therefore conclude that this is a racist commercial.

From a Japanese perspective, I don’t know. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, or in this case, a monkey. And if the snow monkey is truly a revered animal, it could be that this is their screwy way of paying tribute to Obama. Or it could have nothing to do with him at all. The monkey has been part of other Emobile ad campaigns and if this “Change” show is popular, it makes sense to do a riff on a political theme.

Is this just a cute monkey with a phone or is Emobile demonstrating a lack of judgment by replacing Obama with a monkey?

[Via Gizmodo]

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This is from C-Span’s live House feed from late Monday evening. As of this writing, CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News have yet to cover the story. Isn’t it sad that we live in a country where Britney’s vagina can grab front page headlines instantly yet Dennis Kucinich’s thirty five articles of impeachment levied against George W. Bush gets nothing? Brilliant.

While I agree that the administration should be held accountable for the lies it has sold, unfortunately I can’t see this going through. Pelosi has stated on a number of occasions that impeachment is off the table. The party doesn’t have the stones to go through with it and certainly no Republican would support impeachment. I’m afraid it’s dead in the water. Certainly I think there’s worthy discussion to be had. But one, it’s a little too late at this point, and two, there’s no possible way this will happen.

[Via Huffington Post]

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It’s Stupid Tuesday! Do you know where your country is?

McCain versus Romney, Clinton versus Obama. I predict that McCain will slaughter Romney horribly and a win a majority of the primaries taking place for the Republicans today. For the Democrats, it seems like anyone’s guess. I’m pulling for Obama mostly because I can’t stand Hillary. If she comes out as the Democratic nominee, we’ll have another Republican in office come the new year. She might play well to the liberals in the Democratic party, but she’s too polarizing to win a general election. Obama has more of a chance only because he hasn’t been around long enough to really piss anyone off, but again, he’s a slightly better bet but only slightly.

We need a pro-growth President with a real energy policy. That’s why, regardless of who wins what nomination from which party, I’m voting for the Sun. The Sun promotes growth better than any political party and offers an infinite and sustainable supply of clean energy. Okay, so the Sun is a little weak on immigration and the war. But the Congress can do their job for once and figure that mess out. The Sun is great for international relations giving free energy to every country on the planet. And you can’t buy the Sun. It’s incorruptible.

I’m only half joking. The sad fact is that neither party truly represents my little old interests. Nor do they reflect an America I can be proud of or inspired by. There is no real third alternative because no one can lasso those third parties together to form on cohesive group. It’s sad to reflect that our government has become so monolithic and polarizing that in trying to represent everyone, they represent no one. I would like to see a change in the way our national elections are run. Dissolve the electoral college and let the popular vote speak for the people. Look, if the IRS knows whether or not you get your money right, if the DMV can track you down if you move from county to county, if your fucking alma mater can send you junk mail after you’ve graduated, moved, and neglected to tell them, we can hold a real direct election.

Unfortunately, a direct election at this point is impossible. No congressman would vote for such a sweeping change let alone propose such a radical idea. So we’re stuck with a gigantic broken machine.

The good thing is that since Stupid Tuesday coincides with Mardis Gras, we can all get blitzed tonight to celebrate!

Oh… I don’t drink… DAMN!

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This is meant as an intellectual exercise which popped into my brain meats as I had the misfortune of pondering this unfortunate election cycle. I highly encourage you to chime in with your own thought and opinions and be open to others who may disagree with you. I especially encourage those who disagree with what I put forth. I’m interested in hearing what you guys have to say, especially those outside the U.S.

America is both sexist and racist. Women and minorities still earn less per dollar than their white male counterparts. Both groups are still labeled when they run for political office (first woman President, first Black President, etc.). Both groups are exploited and marginalized in various forms of entertainment. And while it’s true that women and minorities have all the legal rights and privileges as anyone else in the eyes of the law, things are far from equal.

Now to the heart of the matter. We have come to a happy point in our short history when a woman and a minority have a real chance at becoming the next President of the United States of America. Regardless of the polls, regardless of the fact that the convention hasn’t happened yet, regardless of all the rhetoric, the policies, the rumors, the fighting, and all the other bullshit that has become the election process, who do you think has a better chance of becoming President, Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama?

Well, maybe it’s a bad idea to associate names with this discussion. Both have quite a lot of baggage that has to be dealt with before you even consider the question of who would have a better chance. So let’s break it down further. Two candidates, both equally qualified for the position. Great family lives. Amazing policies, policies that would take America into a new golden age. In fact, they’re basically the same. The only difference is that one is a white female and the other is a black male. Who do you think is more likely to win the Presidency?

Asked myself this question a few years ago and it was difficult for me to come up with a satisfactory answer. I figured that America was slightly more racist than sexist, but then I figured that it would almost be impossible for a woman to be elected without comments about how sexy she was looking or her wardrobe or a myriad of other things that really have no bearing on the job at hand. Statistically, there are far less women in Congress and only one on the Supreme Court. Going by that, it seems more likely for a minority to win the Presidency. But we now also have the first woman Speaker of the House. The time could be right for a woman President.

I invite you all to chime in with your opinion. In the end, we’re going to have to wait a while anyway. Anything could happen between now and the convention. For all we know, Edwards could get the nomination making this truly just an intellectual exercise. My sincere hope is that either Hillary or Barack get chosen. I know, I know, to root for someone based solely on gender or ethnicity is just as racist or sexist as rooting against them. But I’ve completely lost faith in the system and this is the very last stake that I have the energy to hang on to. So true believers, what say you?

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I should just stop watching CNN.

I’m sort of a news junkie. So today, to get my fix, I turned on the international news hour on CNN. A few seconds after I turned the idiot box on, the regular program was interrupted with “breaking news.” You might expect that the assassination of Lebanese lawmaker Antoine Ghanem in a bombing on Wednesday in Beirut would be more than enough to break regularly scheduled programming.

Nope.

The breaking news? A press conference held by OJ Simpson’s lawyers.

WHAT THE BLOODY FLYING FUCK!!!!

The bombing occurred around the same time of the press conference. Why CNN thought OJ was of more immediate importance than an assassination that could destabilize an already embattled region is indicative of a so-called news station that’s more interested in ratings than actual news.

I’m going to expand on this for my next Spwug magazine article because I could go on and on. Suffice it to say, news in this country is really news entertainment. Stations are more interested in making money than presenting facts.

I’ll stop for now. But I’ll probably be bitching about something else the next time I turn on the bloody news. Ugh.

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Speaking of Alberto Gonzales, on Wolf Blitzer’s “Situation Room” yesterday, one of his analysts described Gonzales as a “political pinata” for the administration. Pinata? Really? What, did he give out candy during his hearings?

“Mr. Gonzales, were you involved in the firing of those attorneys?”
“Hey homes, I don’t remember! But here’s a bag of bon bons! ODALAY! VIVA LA RAZA!”

How fucking racist! If he was Asian, would they be claiming “he’s taking a kamikaze dive for the administration?” I expect off hand remarks like that from blow hards like Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh or even Carlos Mencia. But a news organization? Completely unprofessional and uncalled for. Save that kind of editorializing for the opinion pages and the pundits.

Can you tell I’m becoming a little disenchanted here? Man, working back in D.C. has sort of sparked the militant angry ranting within.

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No doubt you’ve seen this by now:

First of all, what kind of dumb fuck question is that? How the fuck should she know why her peers can’t read maps? How is that knowledge going to help her be vacuous and useless as a figure head of superficial teen beauty? Do we really give a shit if Miss Teen USA knows why her fellow students are dumb fucks? Hell, I was confused when I heard the question.

Second of all, why is this clip considered international news? I was watching CNN’s international news hour and all of a sudden, there’s Lauren Caitlin Upton trying to figure out why they’re asking her such a dumb fuck of a question. How is this news worthy? This week alone Alberto Gonzales quits, Senator John Warner, A LEADING FUCKING REPUBLICAN IN THE SENATE, calls for troop withdrawal, Greece is on fire, the Sunnis are boycotting the Iraqi government, South Korean aid workers are held prisoner by the Taliban in Afghanistan. You’re telling me that with all this shit going on the best you can do is make fun a girl who doesn’t understand a stupid question?

This is not news worthy. Miss South Carolina, however cute she may be while sputtering “such as,” is not news worthy. Blog worthy? Certainly. Tabloid worthy? Why not. International news placement on CNN? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!

In all seriousness, televised news is more like new entertainment these days. News programs regularly brag about their ratings and pat themselves on the back for breaking the latest headlines. Virtually gone are the days of true investigative reporting and objective stories. Now, every news story comes with an opinion. Hell, even newspapers endorse candidates, a practice that I find rather appalling. I’m looking for an unbiased eye or at least some in depth investigations, not quick little sound bites off of wire feeds. Guess it’s nothing but CSPAN for me from now on.

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