Back at Earth Treks! Felt pretty damn good this week. The courses in the gym are rated from 5.3 to 5.11 for the classroom walls. I think they add letters for the advanced routes for those crazy bastards who lead climb. Lead climbing is some seriously intense shit. Instead of tying into a rope that runs from the top of the wall with someone to belay you, lead climbers clip into the wall as they climb bringing the rope with them. Lead climbers are fucking ninjas!

Audrey spent the night destroying 5.8s and 5.9s. She also tried a few 10s but by that time, her arms were a little blown. I fully expect her to clear 10s next week. As for me, last night was all 7s and one 8 which kicked the living shit out me. I got half way up no problem. But then the holds got all rounded and smooth and my fingers started sweating like mad. Fortunately, we got a chalk bag with our rental. After what seemed like years stuck half way up, I finally managed to power up and finish off the wall. Today, my fingers are burning. They’re crying for me to grasp victory. Or just crying. But the forearms are doing just fine. I think we’re getting the hang of things.

So the post title comes from Garth’s younger brother, Cole. He’s fucking beast on the walls. He was doing 10s like they were nothing. At some point in the evening, he took off his shirt and proclaimed, “No shirt, no breaks!” and proceeded to do a dyno just because. A dyno is when you basically jump for you next hold. Someday I’m going to remember to bring a camera and take some photos and video.

At this point, the future purchase of gear is almost inevitable. We’ll have to consult with Jim and Nelly. Nelly picked up her own harness for her birthday. So far, Jim hasn’t found one MIGHTY enough to handle him. Apparently, extra large is as far as they go. He’s a giant six foot something tree of a man, might mightier than extra.

Next week, I’m hoping to hit a few more 8s. I’m still deathly afraid of heights, but it’s getting a little better. Climb on!

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More adventures in rock climbing. You know, we should take pictures next time we go.

So Audrey and I took our belay test at Earth Treks in Rockville and I’m happy to report we both passed. Now we can go climbing together whenever we want. All that’s left is buying our own gear and our path to the dark side is complete!

We got the gym a little early because we planned to leave a little early to pack for our trip up to Boston for the weekend. But we ended up staying until the gym closed. Just had too much fun hitting the walls! Audrey is already hitting some of the more advanced competition climbs. She’s like a ninja spider monkey! I’m still struggling with some of the intermediate climbs. Didn’t fall this week, but I completely failed one climb. And I kinda cheated on another one. Oh, and my fear of heights is still quite strong. I made it up to the top of one of the 45ft walls and stupidly looked down. I got a little dizzy and my throat clenched up.

Can’t thank Nelly and Jim from Morlock, Garth, and Brian enough for introducing us to the gym. Going to try to remember to bring along a camera next week so we can share the insanity.

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My adventures in parkour ended quite abruptly when I fuckered my wrist. It took a few months before I could put any significant weight on it. Now I can do push ups and lift weights and small children so I figured why not try rock climbing!

Last week, Audrey and I met up and Earth Treks in Rockville with clan Morlock which now consists of Nelly, Jim, Garth, and Brian. They had all gone a few times before and were ready to take their belay tests. My wife had also been climbing before so this was old hat. This was my very first time and to make matters more amusing, I’m also deathly afraid of heights. Fortunately, our friend Larom, who you probably have seen around the anime con circuit, was there to make sure we didn’t kill ourselves.

As Nelly, Jim, and Garth tied in for their belay tests, Larom showed us how to get started. I went first. With a quick tutorial, I tied in and hit the wall. We were in the classroom area with 35 foot high walls. The advanced area features 45 foot walls that go all the way up to the ceiling of the gym. I got two thirds of the way up when my fear kicked in. The weird thing is I actually felt pretty safe. You’d have to physically cut the rope to do any real damage to yourself. But a combination of fear and forearm fatigue just locked me into place.

It didn’t last as long as I thought it might and after a few moments of paralyzing terror, I made it up to the top. And then I looked down. 35 feet is fucking HIGH! Went up a few more times. Got stuck in a few places mostly because of my inexperience. But we had a blast.

Audrey and I returned last night, signed up for the summer pass, and climbed the shit out of some walls. Well, Audrey climbed the shit out of some walls. I fell on my first route three times. I missed the opportunity to kick off the wall to swing back. Larom yelled for me to kick the rope, but all I could manage to do is pluck it with my toe like a guitar string. He eventually had me grab on to the rope so he could swing me into the wall. I felt like a kitty stuck in a tree. So the first route completely defeated me. But I didn’t die and I got my first major fall out of the way.

We learned to belay last night and are planning on taking our test this weekend so Audrey and I can hit the gym together and climb any time we want. I predict that feats of utter hilarity will ensue.

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