Shout out to AZM Ally Ananth for digging up this rap explaining exactly what a Large Hadron Collider does.

On the one hand, MC Alpine Kat’s flow is so much better than anything Soulja Boy has ever produced. She uses full sentences with words that you can actually find in a real dictionary. And her hook is more than one word long. Win. However, as much as Ice T hates Soulja Boy for killing Hip Hop, the Large Hadron Collider could end us. You know what, she wins there too. Soulja Boy may have money and all sorts of bull shit, but MC Alpine Kat has mini black holes! In a battle, mini black holes win every freaking time.

Unfortunately, urban radio stations don’t promote intelligent or thought provoking lyrical content. So while Soulja Boy goes on to raking in millions with shitty MIDI Fuity Loops tracks, MC Alpine Kat remains unknown except for a very nerdy community that doesn’t really buy records. Can nothing stop the blight of Soulja Boy?

Anyway, this is freaking awesome. MC Alpine Kat, making Nerdcore even more Nerdy!

[Via Telegraph]

Share This

Hip Hop vs Shit Hop!

Thanks to Jon Knight in the comments, we have Ice T’s response to Soulja Boy. Wow. Ice T is man enough to apologize for making it personal while still making it crystal clear that he does not approve of Soulja Boy’s brand of Shit Hop.

Damn.

The sad thing? While Hip Hop might think Soulja Boy’s music is useless, YouTube thinks Soulja Boy is the shit. Normally, Ice T’s comeback should probably end Soulja Boy’s career. But this isn’t the good old days. I’m fairly positive we’ll soon be hearing more “old nigga” jokes from Soulja Boy soon.

UPDATE: Yup, more old people cracks. Although, it is kind of funny seeing Ice T break dancing. But guess what. T’s break dancing is still better than that Soulja Boy “dance.”

Share This

“We the same, nigga!”

Thanks to AZM ally Mike Dent for digging this up.

He must get a quarter for every “nigga” he says. Soulja Boy makes some good points. Like the fact that Ice T doesn’t need his respect. Seems like he’s hit that Wikipedia entry pretty hard for most of his counter dis material. Who cares the Ice T was born on the East Coast? He’s still done more for Hip Hop than Soulja Boy ever will. Lots of battles and challenges going on these days, but I’d seriously love to see this battle take place.

Share This

Um… damn. How do you come back from that? Even if Soulja Boy attempted to snap back a Ice T, Ice T would bury him. In fact, I’d love to see that battle. Soulja Boy would have to go first because T would just shut him down. More as it develops.

Share This

When last we left Soulja Boy, he was getting the Roger Troutman treatment with a talk box. Now he’s spread his song to Japan and AZM ally Mike Dent is tired of this shit already! He’s calling out Soulja Boy and challenging him to a duel!

I, Mike Dent, Great Sage-Equal of Heaven, do hear by challenge Soulja Boy to three rounds of Gundam: Bonds of the Battlefield, the very game he claimed to be the King of. Should I win, it means that you can never perform that song in any form ever again! Bring it….IF YOU DARE!!!

Good luck Mike! AZM has your back with a Haro army at the ready!

[Via Justice Ace]

Share This

I have now created a Soulja Boy category because when you post your fifth story about the damn song, it deserves its own category. This is Dilliot Lunari’s version of “Crank Dat Soulja Boy” complete with talk box.

Roger Troutman would be proud! Who knew talk box made bad rap songs AMAZING!

[Via Dilliot Lunari]

Share This

When last we left Soulja Boy, he was cranking dat Kosher Boy, cranking it with ballet kids, and cranking it with Travis Barker. Reader Mike Herbert has uncovered where we find Soulja Boy now, crankin’ dat curry sauce!

Thanks Mike. Now I’m hungry. Good thing is Super Bowl party time!! Tasty Jam indeed!

Share This

When last we left Soulja Boy, he was crankin’ that with some kids at ballet class. Now, it seems Soulja Boy has come to the rescue of kosher Jews everywhere! Observe:

Share This

I believe at this very moment, words fail me…

Share This

If you have yet to have your head pounded inside out with the refrain of “Crank Dat Soulja Boy,” you must be one of the fortunate people whose radio fails to land on a station that plays the best of today’s Hip Hop and R&B. For the rest of us, the incomprehensible chorus infects our brain and refuses to let go until something equally repetitive and incomprehensible takes its place (think Macarena). If “Crank Dat” is the best of today’s Hip Hop, Hip Hop is dead. Dead as a doornail.

On one hand, you can’t help but admire Soulja Boy. His big break came from the millions of views he got from a YouTube video featuring a raw version of “Crank Dat.” His producer heard about Soulja Boy from his kids who loved the video. He called Soulja Boy up and the rest is infamy. At only 16, he’s reaching a lot of people with his, ahem, music and gaining quite a lot of fame. Musicians would kill for that kind of success.

However, “Crank Dat” is not a good song by any means. Don’t get me wrong. I love Hip Hop. But I’m more of an old head. And “Crank Dat” ain’t no “Self Destruction.”

So, is there any hope for today’s Hip Hop? Will it forever be stuck in this shitty crunky rut of self aggrandizement and materialism?

Travis Barker to the rescue!

Okay, so he can’t do much for the lyrics. They still suck. But something about live drums really makes this something worth listening to. Take note, young MC’s. Fucking get Travis Barker on your tracks right the fuck now!

Share This