Iron Man 2 comes out today and it looks fucking fantastic. I haven’t read any reviews and have tried to keep away from spoilers so it’ll be all fresh when we check it out tomorrow.

In some ways, I think Tony Stark is kind of like Marvel’s take on Bruce Wayne. They’re both insanely rich. They’re both womanizers. They both have wonderful toys. But as similar as they are, they couldn’t be more different. It’s my belief that movie Tony wins over movie Bruce (Christian Bale version) if we were to pit them against each other. Let’s go down the list!

Toys

Comparing the Iron Man suit to Batman’s utility belt is unfair. So we’ll pit the Tumbler against the Mark III Iron Man suit. There’s no denying that the Tumbler can take on just about any conventional weapon in a bad guy’s arsenal. Movie badguys typically carry a couple of fire arms, an automatic weapon or two, maybe some kind of large caliber rifle. Regular bullets don’t mean shit to the Tumbler. Rocket launchers? That’s a little different. We saw a bazooka take out the Tumbler in one hit.

Guess what Tony has loaded as standard equipment in the forearms of the Mark III. Tony’s got him some mini missiles which were more than enough to take out an entire tank. Sorry Bruce. Even though the Tumbler is basically a more mobile and agile tank, that shit is still not missile-proof.

Lifestyle

Tony and Bruce have a reputation for philandering. Tony truly loves women. He loves flirting with them, impressing them, acting like an idiot for them. There’s a tremendous joie de vivre that surrounds Tony when he’s around women.

There is no joie de anything when Bruce is out with the ladies. Oh, he plays like he’s having fun. But it feels like an act that he puts on for the public. Bruce Wayne is the mask that Batman wears. There is no joy in anything that Bruce Wayne does. Behind those eyes is a cold, dark, brooding man whose heart can only be lifted by one woman. And even then, he’s still too broody and dark for his own fucking good. There is no joy for Bruce Wayne. Ever. And that’s why Tony will always be more fun to be around.

Personal Relationships

Bruce Wayne hides from his close friends. He’s never completely honest with Lucius Fox, a man who’s integrity is almost beyond reproach. He never really commits to his feelings for Rachel. Sure, he says he loves her and all that, but what does he really do to show it? About the only person he’s truly honest with is Alfred and even then Alfred usually has to break him out of his shell. Bruce Wayne is a loner and will always be alone. Which is why I don’t think we’ll ever see a Nolan Batman movie with a Bat sidekick.

Tony is very open with his close friends, almost too open. He’s completely trusting. Pepper Potts knows absolutely everything about Tony, his social security number, his latest fling, how to install his chest glowy thingy. He trusts Rhodey with the knowledge that he is indeed Iron Man before he outs himself to the world. And even then, he’s open about who he is and what he intends to do. There’s no hiding, no shadows, no secret signal. Tony is open with his life and his friends and they would do anything to protect him.

Reasons For Heroing

Batman is defined by his villains. His entire motivation for crusading as a giant flying rodent is to avenge his parent’s death. Without crime or evil, there would be no Batman. He is shaped by the darkness.

Iron Man is defined by Tony Stark. Tony chooses to repent for all the misery his technology has caused. He chooses to make the world safe regardless of who he has to go up against. He controls his destiny. He could stop whenever he wants to. I don’t think Bruce knows how to stop.

And seriously, who would you rather have a beer with? Broody, emo sociopath or cocky, fun loving womanizer?

Iron Man 2 is out now!

Angry Zen Minion Elric Colgan sent along another video preview of Super Robot Wars Z that features a shit load of attacks! This makes me so unbelievably happy. I think it’s set to drop fairly soon in Japan so those of you with PS2s that can play Japanese discs, be on the lookout. It’s doubtful we’ll ever get a US version. For some reason, American otaku do not heart the giant robots as much as their Japanese counterparts. What the hell is wrong with us! Everything is better with giant robots! Look at Demigod! Freaking awesome giant freaking robot!

Reader Elric Colgan sent over what is essentially ten minutes of Super Robot Porn. I now have to spend the rest of the work day with rock hard crunchy pants. This is ten minutes of gameplay footage of Super Robot Wars Z which drops in September for the PS2. Oooooh, the slick cell shaded 3D makes me all tingly!

Good fucking lord, check out the finishing moves of Mazinger Z, Daitarn 3, RX-178, Great Mazinger, Getter Robo G, Xabungle, Zambot 3 (which Mike Dent just reviewed for Otaku USA), UFO Robot Grendizer, RGZ-91 Re-GZ, The Big-O (which I just had after watching this whole thing. The pants! Oh the pants!), Orguss, Baldios, Godsigma, Gundam X, Turn A Gundam, Overman Kinggainer, Gravion, Aquarion (that’s a fucking Falcon Punch!), Gundam Seed Destiny, and Eureka Seven. And that’s not even a complete list of all the robots that are in this thing!

Elric predicts that this will be a gigantic hit in light of the fact that Super Robot Wars A Portable for PSP beat MGS 4 for the number one spot! And after seeing this footage, I totally agree! SRW Z will fucking own Japan!

AWE HELLS YEAH! The video quality is utter shite, but this is so freaking awesome! About 2:30 in, you get to see some full screen fighting action. Freaking brilliant! Tatsunoko vs. Capcom FTW!

The one and only drawback? We’ll never get it states side. Too many different companies own the U.S. distribution rights to various and sundry titles from both companies and it would be a bloody nightmare to get them to all cooperate. So we’ll just all have to visit Japan when this drops. Or grab the PS3 version because I’m told it can play any Japanese games!

So now I pretty much have to get this WWE game. Anyone know which one it is?

An Ultra sized Ultraseven would probably squish Kamen Rider right quick even if Hongo is taking the ‘roids. People sized, Kamen ‘Roider and Ultraseven match up fairly well. And then stupid Dipsy comes in to fuck it all up. Curse yous, Teletubbies! Curse yous!

UPDATE: Of course, the real battle already took place.

AZM ally Mike Dent sent over some pictures.

Oh look, it’s Tekkaman kicking the shit out Ryu!

And here’s a different Ken getting ready to go all Gatchaman on Ryu!

That’s right people, Capcom continues its versus series with Tatsunoko vs. Capcom!

Tatsunoko is the animation studio behind Gatchaman, Tekkaman, Casshan, Speed Racer, and a whole mess of other mind blowing anime! And of course, you know Capcom. So far, we’ve seen Ryu, Chun Li, some Rival Schools guy, Casshern, Ken, and Tekkaman in action. Can’t wait to see who they reveal next. I read on their Wikipedia entry that Tatsunoko also did Macross. Could we get some sweet Zentradi action in the house? It looks like they’re using sweet cell shaded 3D sprites for the fighters which looks absolutely gorgeous. Must see game play footage!

Unfortunately, the license nightmare almost guarantees that we won’t be getting this states side. Boo! This is such an awesome pairing, much better than MK vs. DC.

[Via Famitsu here and here]

The lesson here? Never trust a pirate!

I think in a straight up contest without interference from outsiders, Link would clearly clean the shit out of Mr. Clean. Sure, Clean has those chiseled abs, that rippling chest, that ever so sexy dome. But Link rolls with weight and no matter how sexy you are, a fucking sword will slice and dice your gun show. Well, unless you have real guns. But the closest thing Clean has to a weapon is a mop. Link FTW, no question.

Now in a contest with the ladies? That might be an actual contest. Link seems to always be chasing after the princess. But Clean, he’s got MILFs a plenty knocking on his door. You can easily imagine Clean being more of a player than our favorite sword swinging elf.

Thanks to AZM regular Kevin Bahrt for sending this over.