Yes, I realize that I’m the last site in the universe to post this. Hell, NPR did a story on this song before I got around to posting it. But whatever. Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” is the best breakup song ever, and here are six magical reasons why:

1. No Apologies
   Breakup songs usually include lots of “I’m sorries” or “it’s my faults” and other emo bullshit like that. Not here. Though there is that one stanzas where he whines that he still loves her, the majority of the song is unapologetic. It’s not my fucking fault! You’re just a gold digger!
2. Expressed Rage
   Besides the title, Cee Lo expresses anger at the woman in question, “Ooh, I really hate your ass right now.” That sentiment usually gets buried during a breakup, but sometimes you need to just let it out.
3. Upbeat
   There is a mile long list of breakup songs that are really down and depressing and completely devoid of anything resembling happiness. Guess what. Sometimes you need to breakup. I certainly did. And now we have an awesome song to celebrate a proper breakup. I would have blasted this jam 24/7 after my divorce.
4. No Autotune
   Okay, so autotune isn’t really a mainstay of the breakup song genre, but it has definitely cut a swath of ear pain across pop music of the 2010s. Thankfully, we’ve got some real vocals and real instruments in the mix.
5. Clever Use of a Racial Invective
   If the N word is to be used, let it be in a clever, thoughtful manner, not as a punctuation to each stanza. Cee Lo’s background singers kind of sneak it in there so stealthily that I almost missed it the first time they sing, “(Oh shit, she’s a gold digga) Well! (Just thought you should know, nigga).”
6. Classy Music Video
   According to the notes on the YouTube page, a “full video” is coming soon. I prefer this version. It’s rare that an artist will let the music speak for itself. Music videos have become overblown circus acts that sometimes have little to do with the lyrical content and very rarely enhance the listening experience. By just throwing the lyrics up there, “Fuck You” is allowed to shine as the perfect breakup song it truly is.

Thank you, Cee Lo Green, for giving us the perfect breakup song that we’ve always wanted.

If you would like to see a swarm of kids moshing to “Old MacDonald,” come out to the Ottobar tonight and see Peelander Z perform their version of the children’s classic. Evan, Yuko, Ananth, and I witnessed just such an occurrence Tuesday night at the Idol Explosion Summer 2010 at Death by Audio in New York. It was very surreal. Never did I think that Old MacDonald could inspire such feats of aggression.

Peelander Z is headlining the Ottobar’s first night of the Baltimore Independent Music & Arts fest which is a new, three-day arts and music fest taking place at 10 different venues throughout Baltimore. Should be a crazy show.

As you know, I am fascinated by the dance styles of the world (how would you possibly know this). Tecktonik kinda blew my mind a little bit so I thought I was prepared to witness the Melbourne Shuffle and Jumpstyle. I was not.

Now this clip is from 2008 so I have no idea if the kiddies are still doing these two styles in the raves of 2010. Of the two, I think the Shuffle is more fun than Jumpstyle. Jumpstyle looks like the kicking exercises I used to make my kids go through when I was teaching martial arts. The Shuffle kinda looks like angry robots stomping on a swarm of cockroaches which is immensely amusing without the added possible danger of kicking someone in the teeth as presented in Jumpstyle.

Maybe I’m just not hanging out in enough anime con raves.

There’s a Soulja Boy song where he proclaims, “Bitch I look like Goku.” So of course, YouTuber 11wheels made it happen and stuck Soulja Boy’s smug mug on Goku in the Dragon Ball Z opening.

Alright, Soulja Boy. You, in fact, do not look like Goku, Gohan, or any other Saiyajin. It has nothing to do with your ethnicity or the color of your skin. It has everything to do with your complete and total lack of AWESOME SAYAJIN HAIR! Sure, you have it now thanks to this video. But if you ever hope to perform this track live you better at least get a giant fucked up wig!

I could be misinterpreting things here, but it appears that Rachel Bloom would like to have sexy time with science fiction author Ray Bradbury. This video for “Fuck Me Ray Bradbury” is technically safe enough to post on YouTube without being flagged as adult content, but you probably should not watch it with your boss in the room. Unless your boss is Ray Bradbury. Then by all means, alert him to the fact that this woman wants to do some Fahrenheit 69 with him.

So remember kiddies, naughty, busty school girls want to have crazy monkey sex with old, curmudgeony sci fi writers. The curmudgeony part is key.

Oh god, Dan Hibiki is the creepiest!

This looks like so much fun. An epic Street Fighter Dance Off! It’s so brilliant!

So who would win in an ultimate musical creep-off, Dan Hibiki with his goddamn chapstick or Hakan with his Hakaness?

Oh god, this fucking Ke$ha song again! This fucking song has a long ass shelf life.

It’s true, the Enterprise always seemed like the party ship of the fleet. At least in TOS. TNG was a lot more formal, more stuffy. DS9 had a decent party atmosphere. Voyager probably should have had more parties. I’m surprised the entire crew didn’t have one big orgy to relieve all the sexual tension. Enterprise? No one should have watched Enterprise. The new movie crew seems like it could be a party crew. Observe:

Anyway, this song fucking sucks. But Star Trek makes it suck less. Kinda. Sorta.

Okay, it still fucking sucks.

So this is from last year but I only just discovered this today. Taylor Swift, I’m sorry, T-Swizzle busts out some mad rhymes with T-Pain.

Okay, enough is enough. Someone needs to get T-Swizzle, M-Tizzle (Michelle Trachtenberg), and N-Pizzle (Natalie Portman) together for the Lil’ White Grrlz of Rap tour! Seriously, someone get on this shit and make it happen!

This is 8-bit rock band Anamanaguchi performing the theme song for the… wait for it… SCOTT PILGRIM VIDEO GAME along with screen shots from the ACTUAL GODDAMN GAME!!!

That sound you hear? That explodingly crunchy sound? That’s the sound of every pair of pants I own exploding in crunchy glory! The game looks exactly like something I must play. Now. With all of its side-scrolly, punchy goodness.

It’s just so… beautiful… they should have sent a poet!

Would Star Wars have been more awesome with Daft Punk? Yes. Of course. Would it have been more awesome with Snoop? Well, kinda. It is funny to see Snoop chopping mother fuckers with a light saber. But it’s not as awesome as seeing C-3P0 and R2-D2 walk in with Daft Punk. The World Cup is in full swing. I’m betting on the Jawas.