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5 Versions of Voltron That Don’t Look Like Ripped-Off Transformer Movie Designs

Movie Voltron

It should come as no great shock to anyone reading AZM that I am less than impressed with the concept art for the upcoming live-action Voltron movie that was posted over at Joblo. I’m no purist when it comes to robot designs. I think Go Lion could use a bit of a face lift when he premiers on a live-action screen. But I am so over the Transformer Movie inspired robots that are covered in panels and spikes and random gribble that detracts from a strong silhouette. They look over-designed, busy, and unreadable. You can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys cause they’re all full of moving spikey tinker toy bullshit. That’s what this concept art says to me. So I went out and tracked down some Voltron designs that I am pleased with.


Voltron by *JPRart on deviantART

Here’s Jeremy Pratt’s 3D rendering of the classic design. The rendering shows off just how iconic the original design can be. It cuts a memorable silhouette that speaks volumes when compared with that tinker toy shit.

Robert Burden Voltron Painting

Robert Burden’s Voltron oil painting is absolutely gorgeous. The colors are just so vibrant. This painting really shows off how iconic the original design is. Check out the video of him painting the giant thing.

Cheeks Voltron

Sean “Cheeks” Galloway’s interpretation is probably too cartoony to work in a live-action situation, but the redesign is elegant and readable. I love the hands coming out of the lion’s mouth.

Voltron Qee

Rotobox’s 8 inch Go Lion Qee is also probably too cute for a live-action situation, but it’s still freaking awesome.

Voltron Girl

Of course, who can forget Voltron Girl!

So there you go, 5 Voltrons that I like a bajillion times better than the live-action concept art. Sure, some of them won’t really work for a movie, but I think there’s more they can do with the design. If the released art is the direction they’re taking Go Lion, I’m not interested. They need to clean that shit up. How about hiring actual mech designers to come up with a live-action interpretation? I mean, you got the money for some nice concept art. Why not toss a few bucks to Hajime Katoki! I’m sure he could design a Go Lion that would work well in a live-action movie.

GAINAX’s Next Anime Appears to be the Result of Crack Smoking While Watching Power Puff Girls

I’m not exactly sure just what the fuck I am looking at here. The GAINAX crew must have been hitting some very strong narcotics to come up with “Panty & Stocking With Garterbelt.” It appears to be a drug inspired mash-up of an exploitation film with a heavy dose of Power Puff girls wrapped up in a fucked-up jPop bow.

If you are going to do a parody of American animation, GAINAX is the perfect studio to do it. This is probably what Power Puff Girls would have looked like if the FCC was looking the other way and all the Cartoon Network staff were highly medicated. This looks like it’s way over the top with tongue firmly in cheek. It’ll be something to look out for on those late nights when you just can’t get to sleep and want to have your brain meats fucked full in the face with some batshit crazy animation.

Kamen Rider Hobo and the Taco Bar

It seems that Toei is going after Kamen Rider on the YouTubes so this clip of Kamen Rider OOO’s, who will now and forever be referred to as Kamen Rider Hobo (more on that below), first henshin may be taken down at any moment. I wish someone would license Kamen Rider and translate the shit so I can buy legit copies of the show. And to be sure, I would totally buy many legit box sets of Faiz, Kabuto, Decade, Double, and probably more. Unfortunately, I know us Rider fans are a very small demographic in this country. But it would make it a lot easier to watch the damn show.

Anyway, as with any new Rider show, it’s difficult to judge on the very first episode. Our hero is Eiji Hino who has naught but the shirt on his back, a total hobo. He has no family, no ambitions, no nothing. So of course, he’s thrust into combat against the Greeed, animal kaijin who are nourished by human desire. It seems to me that the Greeed are kind of shortsighted showing up in Tokyo. After all, the hot bed of human desire is clearly Wallstreet. They’d live forever feeding off of the desire of all those high powered banking execs. The message is clear, this season’s Kamen Rider series is really about overcoming greed and desire to live a more harmonious existence with the world. Our hero is a hobo fighting against greed. You can’t hit anyone over the head with a message much stronger than that.

I can’t take the belt seriously. Hobo has three sections, head, chest, and legs that can change into different forms depending on the coin that Eiji slams into the belt. The default is TOKE TORA BATTA which is a bird head, tiger chest, and hopper legs. The belt yells out “TA TO BA TATOBA TA TO BA” which totally sounds like “TA CO BAR TACO BAR TA CO BAR!” It’s nice that the belt is looking out for Eiji in its desire for a taco bar since our hero has no means of income. But I couldn’t stop laughing. And now I’m sad because there’s no such thing as a taco bar!

I also don’t like the theme song that much, but it took a while before I got into Double’s theme which I totally freaking love now so it might just take a few episodes. It’s going to be a comedy series, that’s clear, so I’m a little iffy on it so far. But I don’t hate it as much as I hated Den-O’s first few episodes so that’s something. I’ll give it the good ol’ Mike Dent five episode test before a final decision.

“With feelings of gratitude for all that is good in this world, I put down my pen. Well, I’ll be leaving now. Satoshi Kon”

From a homeless transvestite to a rollerskating bat boy to the woman of our dreams, Satoshi Kon pushed the boundaries of animated film to remind us that really, you can do absolutely anything in animation. I always felt a profound sense of joy and wonder after watching one of his films and while it saddens me greatly to know that I will no longer get that feeling from new works, I can return to the body of work that he left us to recapture that feeling.

My favorite Satoshi Kon film is Paprika. The interplay between dream and reality was beautifully executed. And it had the voice of Amuro Rei doing a fat Amuro Rei! We had the fortune of seeing it subtitled in a theater in Shirlington and I just remember having a gigantic stupid grin on my face the entire movie. It made me excited to see more of his work, but it also inspired me to continue to push my own work further. I really hope that other animators take inspiration from Satoshi Kon and push the bounds of what’s possible in animation, especially American studios who keep churning out the same 3D crapola. There’s more to explore with 3D and I think American studios would do well to take some lessons from Satoshi Kon’s direction.

If you have a fond memory of a Satoshi Kon work, please leave it in the comments. I feel it only fitting to celebrate the wonderful work he left behind.

Goddamn Frank Miller Must Be Stopped

Goddamn Frank Miller!

Somehow, Gucci thought it would be a good idea to get Frank Miller to direct a commercial for their new fragrance. The ad starring Evan Rachel Wood and Captain Amer–er–Chris Evans will premier at the eMpTyVee Video Music Awards whenever that travesty airs. Damn you Gucci! Now there’s no stopping the Goddamn Frank Miller! Not that I was ever a Gucci customer in the first place, but this seriously makes me throw up in my mouth. This is bloody awful. I mean, fuck, didn’t anyone get the memo? The Spirit was ungood because there wasn’t a real director, like Zack Snyder, on set to tell Frank what the fuck he was doing wrong. Frank Miller is not a director. He’s proven that. Oh yeah, he can draw the ever loving fuck out of a comic book. But he can’t direct.

Please, someone, stop the Goddamn Frank Miller! This ungoodness must not be allowed to continue!

WHUUUUUUUHHHH??? SCOTT PILGRIM ANIMATED SERIES?!?!!!!

There are very few things that I will break a Gundam Wednesday for. SCOTT PILGRIM ANIMATED SERIES IS ONE OF THEM!!!!!

Alright, I need to calm down.

Apparently, it’s not actually an entire animated series. It’s a short that Adult Swim put together to broadcast the Thursday before the movie premiers next Friday:

Not sure about Scott’s voice, but this is pretty damn sweet. And if it does indeed lead to a full fledged animated series, I think I will need to get some new pants. FOREVER!

Also, Lisa is like my most favorite character ever.

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