Who’s got two thumbs and feels like kicking a movie when it’s down? That’s right, bitches, THIS GUY!
The Rotten Tomatoes gives The Last-Action-Movie-M-N-Selloutimon-I-Choose-You-Will-Ever-Direct Bender a whopping 5%.
Mister Roger “Video Games Ain’t Art Fancy Pants” Ebert gives The Two-Girls-One-Cup Bender the big Eff You with a half star proclaiming:
“The Last Airbender” is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that.
Angry Asian Man believes that The Token-Brown-People-In-The-Background Bender has none of the spirit of the show:
My one-word review via Twitter, immediately after watching the film: joyless. Overall, The Last Airbender completely lacks soul, and suffers from a painful inability to inspire any kind of fun or awe throughout the entire movie. I thought I’d at least enjoy the visual effects, but that fails to impress too. Even setting aside the problematic racial politics, this is just not a good movie.
According to the New York Times review by A. O. Scott, even kids, who are the target demographic for this pile of mistake, think that The Oblivious-To-Everything-That-Made-The-Show-Awesome Bender falls way short:
“The Last Airbender”? Let’s hope so, though there is a scene at the very end that gestures toward a sequel. After 94 minutes — was that all? I could have sworn it was days — of muddy 3-D imagery and muddled storytelling, the idea that this is just the first “Last Airbender” seems either delusionally optimistic or downright cruel. An astute industry analyst of my acquaintance, who is 9 and an admirer of the Nickelodeon animated series on which the movie is based, offered a two-word diagnosis of its commercial prospects on the way out of the theater: “They’re screwed.”
Oh man, I could go on and on and on and on reading the absolutely atrocious reviews for The Who-Thought-This-Shit-Was-A-Good-Idea? Bender, but I think the picture is forming. Even if this was cast properly, M. Night Shyamalan failed to capture even a shadow of the spirit of the show concentrating instead on aesthetics and turning in a final product that completely underwhelms. We still have a long weekend to get through and there are movies that have overcome shitty initial reviews to win a weekend box office. But I’m betting that The Should-Have-Given-It-To-Uwe-Boll-Then-At-Least-It-Would-Be-Sorta-Ironic-Bad-Instead-Of-Bad-Bad Bender will be the last we’ll ever see of this horrifically hideous live-action version.