Telly

Lite-Brite Terrorizes Boston

Turner Broadcasting System Inc. and Interference Inc. have agreed to pay $2 million to settle the shit storm about their “blinking-lights-about-town” marketing campaign for “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie.” Never mind the fact that they ran similar campaigns in nine other cities including New “Hey, we were the ones who actually got attacked you dump fucks” York.

I try not to mix politics with this blog, but I have to say, this is fucking stupid. How fucked are we if blinking Lite-Brite aliens giving the finger can inspire terror! Have you seen the fucking things?! I see an alien flipping the bird. Where’s the bomb? If it was a bomb, do you think the terrorists would really draw attention to the things with lights? If New York ignored the things, a city that has actually been targeted by terrorists, what the fuck is up with Boston! Double dumb ass on you lot. I could understand if there were little boxes all over the city with a blinking light, but for fuck’s sake, IT’S FUCKING LITE-BRITE! Boston, you got yourself some easy money.

But my big beef isn’t with the city of Boston. They were honestly doing what they thought was best. And really, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I’ve got a mad on for the Bush administration. For all their talk of making America more secure, all they’ve managed to do is make us afraid of each other. If you saw these lights around your city on September 10, 2001, you’d look at them and either laugh or walk on by. You might even think them clever pieces of viral marketing or some strange kind of performance art. Not today. Today, it would be perfectly understandable if you caught a quick glimpse of a blinking light and run to your nearest Homeland Security officer. Holy fuck! We’re being attacked by bombs in plain the fuck sight!

I’m not saying we should throw caution to the wind. This is a new era and terrorism is a growing concern. But there’s caution and there’s panic. And in my estimation, Boston’s reaction was clearly the latter. We can’t let fear control our lives. I understand that these are fairly shitty times. But every time we give in to fear, even just a little, the terrorist win. Don’t let those fuckers scare us!

in Dumb Ass / News / Telly  by Jamie 3 comments

Garmin’s Champion

Champion The annual Super Bowl party is the one time every year where I do two things that I normally abhor: celebrate any sort of tradition and watch football. I don’t normally watch football because I never cared much enough for any team of which I was never a part and I don’t celebrate things because I tend to believe that every day is a freaking miracle. The Super Bowl is my one exception because my friend hosts a great part complete with his homemade chili and various salsas he’s collected through his travels.

Part of the annual ritual includes actually sitting through and watching the commercials. The Super Bowl is the one time each year where sponsors attempt to actually entertain us with their spots so that we might actually remember who paid all that money for that commercial. These commercials become of the stuff of water-cooler legend with the best ones burned into our collective pop culture history.

Though the first quarter of this year’s Super Bowl was actually pretty exciting football wise, the commercials left a lot to be desired. And as the Chicago Bears forgot how to hold on to the actual football, the sponsors seemed to forget that they were supposed to entertain us.

In fact, the only commercial I gave two shits about was the Garmin Champion. For its spot, Garmin, a company that makes a GPS for your auto, created a Champion to battle a giant Map Kaiju. A hapless man sits in his car trying to read a map which grows beyond his control into a giant Map Kaiju. Another man, wearing a henshin belt with the Garmin GPS as the buckle, henshins into Champion form and defeats the Map Kaiju in glorious old-school toku battle. As a great lover of all things henshin and Ultraman, I messed my pants!

Thanks to the glory of YouTube, here’s the spot. I’d also like to give thanks to Garmin for making up for all the shitty CBS and car ads. I hope you sell massive shitloads of your GPS.

in Henshin Korner / Telly  by Jamie 2 comments

Bigot Rehab?

I know it’s old news at this point, but if I’m going rail against Michael Richards for his judicious use of the KKK-friendly word “nigger” instead of the rapper-friendly word “nigga,” I’ve got to give some time to Isaiah Washington and his use of the word “faggot.”

Isaiah Washington allegedly referred to Grey’s Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight a “faggot” within ear shot. At the Golden Globes, Washington responded to the allegations:

T.R. Knight responded to Washington’s statement on Ellen’s show:

Washington finally owned up to the allegations admitting that he had some issues to work out and was entering rehab. There’s bigot rehab now? When did this shit happen. Apparently, he’s much better now and ready to join the rest of us.

I don’t care that Isaiah Washington hates gay people. I don’t care that Michael Richards hates black people. No amount of rehab will change the way you feel about someone unless you want to change the way you feel. Be all homophobic or racist all you want. But do it on your own time in your own damn home.

I do care when that homophobia or racism affects other people. It’s the actions that these people take that infuriates me. Does calling someone a “faggot” rise to the level of a hate crime? I wouldn’t go that far. But in any working environment, you should feel safe to be yourself. Clearly, Knight is uncomfortable working with Washington which will affect the show in a bad way (not that I give two shits about Grey’s Anatomy).

There’s another side to consider in all of this. Words are just words. You can choose how you react to hateful words. If you choose to let them have power over you, words like “nigger” or “faggot” will always hurt you. They will control an aspect of your life. If you choose to exert your power over words, words can never control you. I’ve been called “Cchink” and “Jap” before and it used to really bother me. I felt angry that someone would see me as anything other than who I am. But getting angry gives these words power over me and I am no longer willing to let anyone or anything control me. So call me anything you want. I know who I am and that’s good enough to me.

In the end, I think that both Isaiah Washington and Michael Richards are incredibly stupid for the words they used. I think both of them are suffering the consequences for those actions. I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy anyway so I couldn’t care less if Washington got fired. You slur someone’s sexuality or ethnicity in an office and you’d probably get fired. Either way, I couldn’t care less about him. I do hope that T.R. Knight will rise above this and not let slurs hold power over him. Washington doesn’t deserve that kind of power over him and as a black man, he should have damn well known better.

in Diversity / Dumb Ass / News / Telly  by Jamie 4 comments
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