Listen here all you Toys R Us kids. You’re going to have to grow the hell up to afford these toys!
Okay, forget all that shit I said about subtlety. There’s nothing subtle about Windows icons dancing a fool.
And now the Korean Winphone song is stuck in my head! I’m soooo buying this shit!
It’s no secret that I sort of have a love-hate relationship with Apple. I love much of what they do. I use Macs for most of my work. I prefer OSX to Windows. And yet, sometimes they really piss me the fuck off. The snarky “I’m a Hipster Elitist, I’m a PC” commercials, the eye-rolling promos for the iMaxi (AZM Ally Kurt Griffith has a nice write up about the thing that goes into a lot more detail than I did). Still, I’ve been a Mac user since the very first Macintosh computer hit the streets and I probably will be for a very long time.
Regarding Windows, I actually don’t have much of an opinion good or bad. I’ve got a box at home running XP that I use for 3D and After Effects that has held up pretty well. No complaints. Windows 7 looks like it might be useful, but until XP blows up, I’m sticking with what I’ve got. While I admit that I still get excited whenever Apple announces anything, I rarely pay attention to anything that Microsoft releases. So it surprised the shit out of me when I stumbled upon this little video.
Oh. Mah. Gawd.
Holy crap on a crutch?! Why the hell didn’t twitter explode when this thing was announced? This is awesome! It’s so elegant, functional, understated. Okay, so it’s got a shitty name, too. But what I love about this promo for Windows Phone 7 is that it emphasizes you, the user. As soon as you turn the thing on, your virtual social connections all pop up. You got your twithing, bookfaces, ichatty mcthingamadoobers right there, all the things that connect you to the people in your life. Whereas the iPad introduction was all about the device and how unbearably cool it is, this introduction is all about you. Whereas Apple proclaims upon high that their heavy flow maxIPAD will revolutionize revolutions, Microsoft lets the device speak for itself.
It’s almost like the two companies have flip-flopped. Apple used to be the elegant, understated, design centric company. Microsoft was the loud ass bull in the china shop. Now while it’s true that Apple’s design aesthetic remains a core consideration to all their products, they’ve started to bark a lot louder than they used to while Microsoft has kind of become more subdued. Weird.
Anyway, when comparing the intro of the iPad to the intro of the Windows Phone 7 Series in a pear tree (seriously, who comes up with these wonky ass names), I much prefer Microsoft’s presentation.
I believe I jumped the gun a bit by calling Apple’s Mighty Mouse a maxi pad. Yesterday’s announcement of the iPad was met with a slew of feminine hygiene product jokes. I mean, come on, didn’t anyone there see this Mad TV sketch from like three years ago:
The jokes are well deserved. iPad is a horrible, horrible name. Equally horrible is this introduction video posted on Apple’s website shortly after the announcement:
Wow, those fuckers scare me. The blank, glassy look in their eyes indicates that some people have been sucking on a very special blend of the Apple Kool-Aid (TM). There’s no wrong way to hold it. It’s the greatest thing we’ve ever seen ever. It will revolutionize the way we touch things. Creepy.
All joking aside, I think Apple may be on to something. Let’s forget the name and the pricing scheme and all the other things that are wrong with it and concentrate on what’s right with the iPad. I have no hard data so this is all wild speculation on my part, but I suspect a majority of computer users these days use their machines to browse the internet, type an occasional word doc, watch movies, and play games. For those first three activities, you don’t need a whole lot of fire power under the hood. Hell, you can do most of that from any good phone these days. As for gaming, while mobile games may not offer the same hardcore experience that a good PC or console system can provide, they can be just as engrossing. For the typical user, the iPad is the perfect answer. You got your internet, your word processing, your movies, and your games all in a sleek device that won’t light your crotch on fire when it overheats. Netbooks are close, but they don’t play movies all that well and as for gaming, you’re stuck with internet flash games. Of course, a laptop can do everything the iPad can do and then some, but there are times when you don’t really need all that firepower.
Apple has a talent for branding their mobile products in such a way that they become a standard by which other products are judged. iPod has become the standard for the portable digital music player. iPhone has become the standard for smart phones. I believe the iPad will become the product to beat for e-readers and netbooks. It’s certainly going to kick the Kindle and the Nook square in the ball sack. I think the netbook market will still be viable since most of them are more affordable than the base iPad, but it will be difficult for one to emerge as the standard when it has to compete with Apple’s branding.
What does the iPad mean for us digital art professionals? Not a whole damn lot. As much of a fanboy of Apple products as I am, I still feel like the bastard child that they eventually grew to ignore. Time was you couldn’t do any digital art without using an Apple product. Macs were the ubiquitous standard for power users like digital artists. And then, nothing. We’ve been kicked to the curb. We are no longer cultivated as an elite clientele that Apple took pride in winning. They just don’t give two craps about us. Part of that probably has to do with economics. Once an artist finds a tool they like, they are likely to stick with it for decades. We don’t buy new shit just because it’s new. We run the old workhorse into the ground and then keep kicking it to get every last bit of work we can before we finally relent and upgrade. We’re horrible clients in a business that depends on people buying the new thing as soon as it drops. I get it. I understand why Apple doesn’t pay attention to us. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
This is where the iPad fails me, personally, as a user. No Wacom pen support. I mean, what the fuck. How hard is it to put some pressure sensitivity into the thing? The pen does all the work, all you gotta do is program the thing to read the signals from the stupid pen! I’m not looking for a fully functional photoshop. I just want a good sketching program like Sketchbook or Manga Studio so I can sketch and ink on the go! I mean for fuck’s sake, the Nintendo DS has pressure sensitivity built in. You’re telling me you can’t make your shiny new maxi pad detect a Wacom pen?! ARGH!!!!!
Anyway, I do think this is a pretty solid product. I don’t like the idea of subscriptions for anything so that part of it bugs me. And I don’t like not having built-in ports to plug in usb thumb drives and that. And, of course, the lack of pen support irks the living shit out of me. But I believe more and more people will toss their Kindles and netbooks in favor of a Pad. I’m eager to see how this device evolves. And should it ever include pressure sensitivity for to draw with, you will see a trail of crunchy pants all the way to the Montgomery Mall Apple store.
I have yet to get an iFondle or iAnnoyOtherPeopleontheMetroWhenI’mYellingIntoIt, but this Looptastic app looks like a whole mess of disco fun. The real power comes when you’re able to import your own library of sounds. That will set you back about $15 but compared to a full priced audio editing program, if you’re just looking to do fun mashups with your own stuff, $15 is pocket change. The day is soon coming when all a DJ needs is a set of good speakers and their handheld device to keep the party going all night.
Source: Sound Trends
Some of you may recall this absolutely adorable Windows commercial:
Well, the jacknapes over at Funny or Die have done their own version.
“We’re different brands of computers.”
“And we fucking hate each other!”
God, I love it when kids say the F word!
My mother-in-law bought these BuckyBall things for her nephew as a stocking stuffer and as soon as he opened the package, she realized that she didn’t get enough. It was clear that we all needed a set of these super strong magnetic balls. We managed to find a toy store that sold them so I picked up a set for me and Audrey. It’s stupid how fun these things are. Audrey spent the first two hours of the drive back from Boston just making new shapes with the BuckyBalls.
The best part is the weight so if someone is pissing you off, not only can you demagnetize their credit cards, you can also knock them the fuck out!
Source: Get BuckyBalls
This video for Owl City’s “Fireflies” is pretty freaking awesome. It features a whole room full of classic toys from my childhood that I’ll never get to play with again. But they’re so freaking awesome.
I dig the track and Adam Young’s voice. He’s kinda got a Postal Service kind of thing going on, but I dig Owl City. His tour schedule looks crazy insane! Might check him out in January up in Towson.
I’ve been seeing more and more people using e-readers on the train ride to and from work. I guess either people find dead trees too heavy or are so sterile and sanitary at home that they’ve developed an allergic reaction to paper. Or they read really quickly and don’t feel like lugging a library around with them. Whatever. Even though Sony’s reader is better designed, the Kindle seems to be the reader of choice, at least here on the Red Line which I take to work every morning. Well, looks like Kindle might be getting its ass kicked. Hard. A lot.
Barnes and Noble just released their Kindle-killer, the Nook. Unless Amazon has plans for a full color Kindle that will fetch you coffee in the morning and porn when your wife’s away for business, I think the Nook kicks Kindles square in the balls. Let me count the ways:
The Nook seems like a great choice for you e-reader enthusiasts. However, two sticking points remain.
The Nook lacks color. This means that if I were to purchase a fuck ton of graphic novels, they would all have to be black and white. Sadly, many of the graphic novels that I would purchase have glorious color. Until an e-reader can provide me with glorious colorful comics, I will remain an e-reader virgin. Also, grayscale porn is no good.
The Nook is also $259. Holy fuck balls, that’s a lot of cashola. I don’t buy nearly enough books in the space of a year to justify that cost. Yes yes, there’s all sorts of other shit I could purchase like news subscriptions or magazines or whatever. But I don’t buy those things either. Under $200, yeah, I’d pick it up in a heartbeat. But it’s still out of my price range.
As far as they go, the Nook really gets the e-reader thing right. I wouldn’t be surprised to see more of these popping up on my commute. It’s just not quite right for me. Yet.
Yesterday, Apple dumped a whole mess of new product up on their website including the new Mighty Mouse which looks like a rather shiny but somewhat uncomfortable maxi pad. There are all sorts of sick jokes I can make when you consider that its entire surface is touch sensitive, but we’ll just leave that alone for a bit.
While I’ve always been impressed with Apple’s design aesthetic, I’m a bit baffled by some of this stuff. The new iMacs get some sexy hardware upgrades including LED backlit displays that are built with a 16:9 aspect ratio so you can watch all your glorious Hulu in HD. You also get the new Maxipad Mouse and the wireless keyboard which is missing the number pad, the home, end, page up, page down keys which essentially makes it useless for Maya. No 3D for you, bitches. The new MacBooks are essentially like the MacBook Pros now except for one key difference. No firewire which pretty much makes it impossible to connect all of my external hard drives. Okay, so I’m still in the dark ages and don’t have any USB 2 devices, but it just seems really stupid that the only difference between a regular MacBook and a Pro is the lack of firewire. Oh, and the MacBooks have a polycarbonate unibody instead of an aluminum one. So there, two differences. Then there’s the new Mac mini which no one bought anyway so I’m kind of confused as to why it’s still kicking around.
The message is clear. Apple wants to streamline their offerings by culling features that we like and keeping things that no one wants (someone please kill Apple TV, please).
I’m confused because while I think many of the new additions are great (the 16:9 aspect ratio iMacs as well as the new SD card slot), some of the decisions here make no sense. If you want firewire on your laptop, you have to upgrade to a Pro which is $200 more if you’re just looking at baseline models. If you want a full-featured keyboard which used to come standard with your Mac, you now have to buy a new one. I don’t get it. They’re streamlining by getting rid of things including reasons to buy a Mac.
At the behest of some friends, I put up a toy design on Patchtogether in the hopes to get it produced as an actual product. The hat comes off as a separate monster and reveals a hidden surprise. The arms are removable as well so you can design your own tattoo.
To get this into production, first it has to get enough votes on Patchtogether. If it gets enough votes, the Patchtogether crew figures out a price point and puts the toy up for pre-sale. Should it receive enough pre-orders, the toy goes in to production. Head on over to the site to put in your vote and to check out some other views of the cutie.
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