Angry Zen Master http://www.angryzenmaster.com Enlightenment Through Focused Rage Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:03:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.11 en Captain America Reborn From His Own Groin! http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/03/captain-america-reborn-from-his-own-groin/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/03/captain-america-reborn-from-his-own-groin/#comments Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:03:05 +0000 Jami Comics Dumb Ass Art Caption Game http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/03/captain-america-reborn-from-his-own-groin/
Captain America Reborn

I don’t know what it is about Captain America Reborn, but the covers leave much to be desired. First, we had Joe Q’s cover that depicted Steve dropping a very patriotic number two. Now we have this variant cover by John Cassaday with anime speed lines drawing your eye right into his crotch where a shirtless Steve seems to be growing from. LOOK AT MAH CROTCH! LOOK AT MAH CROTCH!

I mean, it’s well illustrated. John Cassaday is one of my very favorite comic book artists. He’s part of the reason I’m trying to refine my style. But I think the cover editor should have steered Cassaday in a different direction.

Alright people, so the comic is called Reborn. But I think this illustration deserves a more fitting title. So to celebrate America’s birthday tomorrow, it’s time to play the Captain America caption game!

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/03/captain-america-reborn-from-his-own-groin/feed/ Universal Equals Fail http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/universal-equals-fail/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/universal-equals-fail/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:57:26 +0000 Jami Movies Dumb Ass Gaming http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/universal-equals-fail/ So get this, Universal won a four-studio bidding war to acquire the film rights to Asteroids. You heard me. FOUR-WAY BIDDING WAR! For Asteroids. Atari’s Asteroids. 1979 arcade game, Asteroids.

Not only that, Universal is also currently developing screen adaptations of, and I can’t believe these words are being typed in this particular order, “Battleship” and “Candyland.”

Obama Facepalm

Candyland?!?!! CANDY FUCK LAND?!!?!!?!!!

I can’t shout loud enough with this keyboard! This is the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever heard! And I watched Bill Clinton ask for a definition of “is” on television! I honestly never thought that Hollywood would be so starved for ideas that they’d go ahead and mine fucking board games! BOARD GAMES!

Well fuck, might as well make a Mister Yuck movie! Or how about a Trapper Keeper movie! Twat tacos, just make a Snuggle the fuzzy fucking Bear movie while you’re at it!

HATE. RISING.

Source: Hollywood Reporter

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/universal-equals-fail/feed/ And Now We Present Kamen Rider Rocking the Fuck Out! http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/and-now-we-present-kamen-rider-rocking-the-fuck-out/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/and-now-we-present-kamen-rider-rocking-the-fuck-out/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:42:26 +0000 Jami Henshin Korner Crunchy Pants Tasty Jams http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/and-now-we-present-kamen-rider-rocking-the-fuck-out/

RIDER SHRED!

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/and-now-we-present-kamen-rider-rocking-the-fuck-out/feed/ Michael Bracco Walks the Road to Success http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/michael-bracco-walks-the-road-to-success/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/michael-bracco-walks-the-road-to-success/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:12:05 +0000 Jami Comics Crunchy Pants Art Events Super Art Fight http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/michael-bracco-walks-the-road-to-success/

When he’s not busy being the best graphic novelist in the Baltimore area, Michael Bracco saves old ladies from being run over by Nick Borkowicz. That’s right, I said it!

I’ll be facing off against Bracco, Borkowicz, and Graham at Super Art Fight 4. And I’m bringing the big guns with me! That’s right mother bitches! I’ve got the biggest freaking marker I’ve ever seen!!

Source: Super Art Fight

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/02/michael-bracco-walks-the-road-to-success/feed/ Bollywood He-Man! http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/bollywood-he-man/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/bollywood-he-man/#comments Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:51:08 +0000 Jami Movies Bollywood Crunchy Pants Tasty Jams http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/bollywood-he-man/

Wow! Just… wow!

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/bollywood-he-man/feed/ Cartoon Network Equals Fail http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/cartoon-network-equals-fail/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/cartoon-network-equals-fail/#comments Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:05:22 +0000 Jami Tele Dumb Ass Animation http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/cartoon-network-equals-fail/

I’m fucking done with you Cartoon Network. Done.

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/cartoon-network-equals-fail/feed/ Basterds Make Killing Fun Again http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/basterds-make-killing-fun-again/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/basterds-make-killing-fun-again/#comments Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:15:57 +0000 Jami Movies Action Crunchy Pants http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/basterds-make-killing-fun-again/

I realize, of course, that I’m sick sick fuck for cheering on a group of men whose sole purpose in this film is to extinguish human life in the most gruesome and horrific ways possible, but dammit, sometimes you just want to see Nazis die.

However, I wonder if this second trailer for Inglorious Basterds shows us too much. The Coin Flip Cinema lads talked about how the trailers for The Hangover ruined the best jokes. I wonder if this second trailer does the same for Basterds. I mean, sure, it doesn’t show us all the bloody bits. But that bit where Brad Pitt says, “We gots a German here who wants to die for his country. Oblige him” is a funny fucking bit. I would have laughed my ass off in the theater. I’m pretty sure I’ll still laugh when I see it again, but it’s a moment I would have liked to have been surprised with.

Anyway, I’m always up for a good bit of righteous bludgeoning, bludgeoning for which there is divine cause. I have to say, it doesn’t get much more righteous than killing Nazis. Looks like sick sick fun.

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/basterds-make-killing-fun-again/feed/ Besouro, The Best Damn Capoeira Movie You’ll Ever See! http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/besouro-the-best-damn-capoeira-movie-youll-ever-see/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/besouro-the-best-damn-capoeira-movie-youll-ever-see/#comments Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:20:04 +0000 Jami Movies Chop Socky Action Crunchy Pants http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/besouro-the-best-damn-capoeira-movie-youll-ever-see/

Besouro is a Brazilian film about the legendary Capoerista Besouro Mangangá. I’m glad they released a subtitled version of the trailer because this looks absolutely amazing. I’m a little surprised with the wire-fu in the later half of the trailer, but I still badly want to see this.

There’s a YouTube Channel for the film with a good deal of behind-the-scenes footage. It’s all in Portuguese which makes it difficult for me to understand. But it’s pretty cool that they have so many clips up there.

Besouro opens in November in Brazil. Hopefully, someone will pick this up for a world wide release!

Source: Besouro

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/07/01/besouro-the-best-damn-capoeira-movie-youll-ever-see/feed/ Geisha Is… ROBOT http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/geisha-is-robot/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/geisha-is-robot/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:29:01 +0000 Jami Movies Sci Fi Chop Socky Horror Henshin Korner Action Crunchy Pants http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/geisha-is-robot/

What happens when the writer-director of Machine Girl Noboru Iguchi, teams up with the special effect man and director of Tokyo Gore Police Yoshihiro Nishimura? Apparently RoboGeisha happens.

I… I think I have to see this…

Source: Twitch Film

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]]> http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/geisha-is-robot/feed/ Ultraman Returns With the Longest Movie Title Ever! http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/ultraman-returns-with-the-longest-movie-title-ever/ http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/ultraman-returns-with-the-longest-movie-title-ever/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:20:55 +0000 Jami Movies Remix Sci Fi Henshin Korner Action Crunchy Pants http://www.angryzenmaster.com/2009/06/30/ultraman-returns-with-the-longest-movie-title-ever/

OH. MAH. GOD.

This is the trailer for Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend, The Movie which promises to be an Ultraman fan’s wet dream come true. Set in the Ultra Galaxy in Nebula M78 in the Land of Light, the movie features the first evil Ultraman, Ultraman Belial. Belial was defeated and imprisoned by Ultraman King ages ago. But now he’s free and plans to use the Giga Battle Nizer to unleash 100 Ultra Monsters to destroy the Land of Light. 50 Ultramen band together to defeat Belial and his Ultra Kaiju hoard. Will it be enough?

I believe I must see this. I believe I must rent a theater somewhere here and project it on a giant screen. I believe I must do this thing. Holy crap do I want to see this!

Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend, The Movie opens December 12.

Source: Ultra Legend

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