Doomsday Returns

No, not that gimmicky rock dude that killed Superman. He’s returned umpteen times already. I’m talking about the Doomsday Machine from Star Trek TOS. This Saturday, CBS will air a digitally re-mastered version of “The Doomsday Machine” complete with a new fully rendered CG Doomsday Machine.

I don’t know if making a CG turd with a gaping mouth is all that impressive. I have yet to see these enhanced and re-mastered Star Trek episodes. Seems to me it could work well if all the exterior shots get the CG treatment, but the sets are still going to look the same from what I understand. The other question is, does Star Trek TOS really need a face-lift? The designs of the original show were minimalist at best. There were just enough panels and buttons to indicate future technology, but they didn’t go nuts tricking out every panel or wall. Because of the cheesy sets, the characters really take center stage. TOS was all about the people of the future, not the technology. And I think by pimping out the original series, you kind of miss the point.

Dalek Glifix!



This July, Product Enterprise LTD is releasing a series of custom painted Daleks! Vinyl Abuse has some sneak-peak photos of the little buggers. I MUST HAVE THEM ALL!

If any of you are headed to the New York ComicCon, stop by the Product Enterprise booth. They’ll have the new Daleks on site! So head on over there, take massive amounts of pictures, and send them to me!

Stargate Sanctuary

Stargate is one of those shows that you can tune in after not watching an entire season and get caught up right away. At this point, I think it’s the longest running Sci-Fi channel series and one of the few science fiction shows to have two different versions running at the same time. Sounds like there’s another Stargate on the way.

Hey man – I’m a huge Stargate fan so.. er.. sorry to foist this on you!

There is a new Stargate series <> in the works (already filmed the first few episodes) this one will be available only on the net, to anyone, anywhere in the world:

The write-up at Gateworld looks interesting. Can’t fault the whole reference to batman begins – should be very cool.

Trial by Firepower

No actual details on the show as yet, but I think it’s pretty cool that there’s the potential of having three Stargate shows running at the same time. Stargate is turning in to the sci-fi Law and Order.

Hardy Boyz!

Of course, if Tom and Ben faced off against these Hardy Boyz, I’m fucking there!

Snickers Vies For “Dumb Ass of the Year” Award

It seems that America just can’t live without its “niggers.” American Indians, African Americans, Asian Americans, Hispanic Americans, Arab Americans, hell, even women have all been America’s “nigger” at some point in our short history. America has always looked for groups of people to oppress, to ridicule. The American Indians had their land taken and are now forced to live on reservations. African Americans endured slavery and continued racism throughout American history. Japanese Americans were interred in World War II. Hispanic Americans are paid shit wages. Arab Americans are detained without cause. Women had to fight, FIGHT, for the right to vote. Does this sound like the proper treatment of people who live in the “land of the free?”

Homosexuals are America’s newest “niggers.” No longer satisfied with discriminating people based on race, now we’re discriminating people based on sexual preference. How stupid is that. This whole mess with the Snickers Super Bowl ad clearly illustrates the status of homosexuals in America.

You’d think that with shows like “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” “The L Word,” and “Queer as Folk” that America had finally gotten over its latent homophobia. Not so. The Snickers ad depict two grease-monkeys mistakenly kissing each other full on the mouth and then doing something “manly” to essentially reaffirm their heterosexuality.

Now, I’m not going to even attempt to argue that this stupid commercial rises to the level of a hate crime. No one was physically beaten because two dudes ate a Snickers that looked like a piece of floppy shit and locked lips. But if you put the commercial in a racial context, perhaps you can understand why people might take offense. Imagine someone prancing around in black face. There, I don’t even need to go any further.

The commercial tacitly implies that being gay is somehow un-manly and that it’s okay to poke fun at homosexuals. A spokesperson for Masterfoods, Alice Nathanson, says that the ad even tested well:

As with all of our Snickers advertising, our goal was to capture the attention of our core Snickers consumer.

Feedback from our target consumers has been positive. In addition, many media and website commentators of this year’s Super Bowl commercial line-up ranked the commercial among this year’s top ten best. USA Today ranked it 9 of its top ten picks.

Tested well? That’s your fucking excuse?

It’s not okay to make fun of homosexuals for being homosexuals just like it’s not right for making fun of Asians for being Asians or Blacks for being Black. It’s not okay to make fun of people because of who they are. Now, if they do stupid shit, gloves are off. Clearly, people should be made fun of for things they do!

It’s about damn time that we as Americans judge people on their character, not their ethnicity or their sexuality or gender. These are mere features of a whole person. They do not define people in their entirety. I am not just a heterosexual Asian male. I am much more.

I am Jamie Kane Noguchi.

And when I do stupid shit, I expect to be made fun of!

Flynn in Iron Man!

Greetings programs! Okay, so he’s not really Flynn, but Jeff Bridges is joining the cast of Iron Man. No specifics on his role, just that he’s a close business associate of Tony Stark. My guess is Bridges will play Harold “Happy” Hogan. From the press release:

We are thrilled to have Jeff Bridges on board Iron Man in this pivotal role. His depth of talent and unique persona make him a perfect addition to this project, truly rounding out the ensemble. His character is central to the entire storyline of the film and we could not have asked for a better choice than Jeff to bring this role to life.

Man, who isn’t in this thing!

I’m a big Jeff Bridges fan. He made Stick It watchable. And who’s badder than Flynn! My money is on Bridges playing Happy unless they create another character specifically for the movie. Either way, now I’m getting a little excited about Shell Head’s debut on the big screen.

Hardy Men?

Boy, am I glad I made a Dumb Ass category. Tom Cruise is reportedly in talks with Ben Stiller to star in a buddy pick based on the Hardy Boys detective novels. The film would depict the boys all growd up and is tentatively titled The Hardy Men.

It seems pretty clear that Cruise wants to repair his bat-shit-crazy-jumping-on-couches persona. But shutting the fuck up would do far more to clean up his rep than starring in a buddy comedy. There’s no way I would want to see this thing. Really, who gives a shit about the Hardy Boys. Fun to read as a kid, but beyond that, the boys themselves aren’t all that interesting. No one cares what they’d be like all growd up.

If Tom really wants us to give a shit about him again, he should make a movie entitled I’m Sorry For Being A Fucking Looney where he apologizes to Brook Shields for saying stupid shit, apologizes to Katie for sticking his thing in her, and then just goes down a list of people apologizing to each one for being a complete utter shit these past few years. Firing his publicist was the worst fucking idea ever. She, at least, shielded the rest of us from bat-shit-crazy Tom. Now he has no filter and we get to see him in all his wigged-out glory. Why anyone would sign up for Scientology with this asshole as its spokesperson is beyond me.

Page 545 of 548« First...102030...543544545546547...Last »