Horror

Zombies Are Big. Let’s Make Some Zombie Movies.

I gotta fever, and the only prescription is more zombies!  We’ve got two zombie flicks coming at us in 2013, World War Z and Warm Bodies.  Both look like they could be quite entertaining for very different reasons.

World War Z

This movie’s claim to fame is that it’s based on a book written by Max Brooks, Mel Brooks’s son.  Its other claim to fame is that it stars long-haired Brad Pitt.  No one likes long-haired Brad Pitt.  This one seems to follow a familiar formula.  Long-haired Pitt is some kind of expert who has a specific skill set that he will use to save his family and stop the zombie hoards.  Or something.  Who really cares.

The only reason to see this one is the zombies who are somehow terrifyingly fast and more than willing to swarm all over each other.  That last shot in the trailer with the pile of zombie bodies crawling all over each other is absolute nightmare fuel.  I’m curious as to how this is possible.  Typically, when the body dies, muscle tissue begins to decay.  Maybe the fast zombies that we see in the trailer are in the early stages of their infection.  But that would be boring because all you’d have to do is wait a while and they’d just fall apart.  Maybe the zombie outbreak is closer to the “rage” that we saw in 28 Days Later where it’s not really death, it’s some kind of insanity that just happens to rot your flesh.  I hope there’s some sort of explanation in the film, but like I said, who really cares.  This movie is about waves of zombies chasing long-haired Pitt.

Warm Bodies

Never thought there’d be a day when I’d see a romantic zombie comedy, but there we are.  Inevitably, this thing is going to get compared to Twilight.  I can see the headlines now, “Warm Bodies Does for Zombies What Twilight Did for Vampires.”  The biggest difference is that Warm Bodies does not appear to take itself as seriously as the shirtless wolf boy trilogy.

The idea that love can infect zombies is an interesting twist.  It looks like a really cute movie and somehow much more palatable than sparkling vampires.  I just really hope it doesn’t spark off a WB television series.  One zombie romcom is more than enough.

This is Only a Test of the Kaiju Emergency Alert System

The viral campaign for Guillermo del Toro’s giant monster movie, Pacific Rim, is under way. I’m not sure how many of these I’ll be able to stomach as this next fake news footage is all shaky-cam and gross.

Thankfully, the actual film will not be from shaky-cam perspective like Cloverfield. I, for one, welcome our new non-Japanese giant monster rulers. Although really, Godzilla will always be king of all kaiju in my heart.

Evil Dead Remake Looks Terrifying

So I’ve been a loud opponent of the remake culture of Hollywood, but there have been a few that have grabbed my interest. I had no idea they were doing an Evil Dead remake until I saw this Red Band trailer and holy fuck, does it look sick.

A lot of us remember the original as a hysterical cult classic. But it wasn’t originally intended to be funny. The low budget, the bad acting, all added up to hilarity. So it seems like they want to put the horror back into the Necronomicon with this remake. I don’t think I’ll be able to get that image of that girl slicing her tongue open out of my nightmares any time soon.

As Cheesy As Vamps May Look, It’s Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight

One of my biggest problems with the vampire genre in general is that it takes itself way too seriously. Even when they’re sparkly fake vampires, everything is so gray and pale and serious and emo and dour and gothic and WE FUCKING GET IT ALREADY! You’re seriously dead. You’re seriously dark. You’re seriously serious. Ugh.

I always thought it would be nice to see a less serious take on vampirism. And it seems that I’m not the only one. Take a look at this trailer for Vamps.

Oh, it’s good to see Alicia Silverstone back in action. Sure, she’s basically playing Vampire Cher, but it’s still good to see her working. And it’s going to be really tough not to yell out “Jaaaaaane” in my best Jesse Pinkman voice in the theater. Yeah, I said it, IN THE THEATER. I would pay some money to see this stupid thing. This is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been looking for from the vampire genre. We’ve seen the dead serious side of vampires forever now and I think something like this breaths a new life, pardon the pun, into the genre.

So go on, Vampire Cher, go get your Van Helsing. Cousin Matthew is a pretty good catch.

Z-Com, and Indy Zombie Short

I love that Kickstarter is giving indy directors the opportunity to create shorts and movies outside of the Hollywood sequel remake Ouroboros. Z-Com is one such project that needs our help. AZM Ally David Caceres and his friends are putting together a zombie short.

They’ve also produced a number of zombie PSAs including this one warning against amateurs choosing the katana as their weapon of choice to defend against the zombie hoard.

Head on over to their project and help keep indy films alive!

The Visual Effects of Prometheus

If you’re a big fan of visual effects and want to learn more about the production side of things, this half hour FX Guide feature on the visual effects of Prometheus should keep you entertained. I love this stuff.

Ah, If Only Samara Had Proper Shampoo

Samara just wanted to look pretty, that’s all.

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