Iron Man 2 comes out today and it looks fucking fantastic. I haven’t read any reviews and have tried to keep away from spoilers so it’ll be all fresh when we check it out tomorrow.
In some ways, I think Tony Stark is kind of like Marvel’s take on Bruce Wayne. They’re both insanely rich. They’re both womanizers. They both have wonderful toys. But as similar as they are, they couldn’t be more different. It’s my belief that movie Tony wins over movie Bruce (Christian Bale version) if we were to pit them against each other. Let’s go down the list!
Comparing the Iron Man suit to Batman’s utility belt is unfair. So we’ll pit the Tumbler against the Mark III Iron Man suit. There’s no denying that the Tumbler can take on just about any conventional weapon in a bad guy’s arsenal. Movie badguys typically carry a couple of fire arms, an automatic weapon or two, maybe some kind of large caliber rifle. Regular bullets don’t mean shit to the Tumbler. Rocket launchers? That’s a little different. We saw a bazooka take out the Tumbler in one hit.
Guess what Tony has loaded as standard equipment in the forearms of the Mark III. Tony’s got him some mini missiles which were more than enough to take out an entire tank. Sorry Bruce. Even though the Tumbler is basically a more mobile and agile tank, that shit is still not missile-proof.
Tony and Bruce have a reputation for philandering. Tony truly loves women. He loves flirting with them, impressing them, acting like an idiot for them. There’s a tremendous joie de vivre that surrounds Tony when he’s around women.
There is no joie de anything when Bruce is out with the ladies. Oh, he plays like he’s having fun. But it feels like an act that he puts on for the public. Bruce Wayne is the mask that Batman wears. There is no joy in anything that Bruce Wayne does. Behind those eyes is a cold, dark, brooding man whose heart can only be lifted by one woman. And even then, he’s still too broody and dark for his own fucking good. There is no joy for Bruce Wayne. Ever. And that’s why Tony will always be more fun to be around.
Bruce Wayne hides from his close friends. He’s never completely honest with Lucius Fox, a man who’s integrity is almost beyond reproach. He never really commits to his feelings for Rachel. Sure, he says he loves her and all that, but what does he really do to show it? About the only person he’s truly honest with is Alfred and even then Alfred usually has to break him out of his shell. Bruce Wayne is a loner and will always be alone. Which is why I don’t think we’ll ever see a Nolan Batman movie with a Bat sidekick.
Tony is very open with his close friends, almost too open. He’s completely trusting. Pepper Potts knows absolutely everything about Tony, his social security number, his latest fling, how to install his chest glowy thingy. He trusts Rhodey with the knowledge that he is indeed Iron Man before he outs himself to the world. And even then, he’s open about who he is and what he intends to do. There’s no hiding, no shadows, no secret signal. Tony is open with his life and his friends and they would do anything to protect him.
Reasons For Heroing
Batman is defined by his villains. His entire motivation for crusading as a giant flying rodent is to avenge his parent’s death. Without crime or evil, there would be no Batman. He is shaped by the darkness.
Iron Man is defined by Tony Stark. Tony chooses to repent for all the misery his technology has caused. He chooses to make the world safe regardless of who he has to go up against. He controls his destiny. He could stop whenever he wants to. I don’t think Bruce knows how to stop.
And seriously, who would you rather have a beer with? Broody, emo sociopath or cocky, fun loving womanizer?
Iron Man 2 is out now!